Just wanted to write this song because I like it. Not a part of any story just me writing mindlessly and creating a brand new storyline. The song is Gilded Lily Cults. ⚠️TW⚠️ panic attacks
Now it's been long enough to talk about it
I've started not to doubt it, just wrap my head around it
I remember when you told me it's an everyday decision
But with my double vision, how was I supposed to see the way?
My parents had been putting a lot of pressure on me. With grades, work, and not being proud of my friends. I live in Figure 8, kind of like Kie but more like Sarah.
My parents have been talking to me about doing better, even though I only have one B and I make more than minimum wage at my job. I'm working almost 30 hours a week. And I think I'm finally realizing. I need to get my B up to an A or I'll be a failure. I need to start working 45-50 hours at least a week or I'll fail in the real world.
"You need to start making the correct changes in your life, now, and pushing yourself for when you're on your own." They would tell me. "And those changes start with your friends."
But on the other side, my friends, John B, Kie, Pope, Sarah, and my boyfriend JJ, would always say that I'm going to tire myself out. They say it's not healthy and that I'm going to work my way to exhaustion.
I don't know who to believe anymore.
Haven't I given enough, given enough?
Haven't I given enough, given enough?
I was in my room after school, doing Trigonometry homework, when I heard my parents talking in the living room.
"You know she gets this laziness from you." My mother said. "Please, Kristen, she gets her attitude from you. Or those hillbillies from the cut. I wish she'd stop hanging out with them." My father sighed.
"She just wants people who are below her. She seeks more attention when she should be seeking tutoring. She needs to get that B up to a 95% at least in Trigonometry." My mother got up and went to get a glass of wine.
"She'll just keep going out with those freaks. I don't know how to stop her." Dad turned around to the TV.
"Go take her phone. Tell her she's grounded until she gets it up." Mom sipped the Chardonnay.
I backed away from the door and opened the window. I slipped on my shoes and jumped out. I ran for my life to the chateau.
I finally got there, out of breath, and tears threatening to fall. How could they treat me like this? I've been perfect my entire life! Most people are flunking high school entirely!
I walked through the front door, still panting, and Sarah was in there getting a beer.
"Hey, y/n. Want a--? Y/n?" She walked over to me. My lungs felt like they were collapsing. With all the overthinking and the running away, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't breathe. I gasped and panted.
"JJ. JJ!" Sarah called him. I was trapped in my mind and I couldn't escape.
Haven't I given enough, given enough?
Haven't I given enough, given enough?
Someone touched my shoulder, and I looked up. JJ. I hugged him tightly and cried. He lifted me, so I was sitting on the counter, and held me gently.
