Demon Host

CHAPTER TEN- Part two

"Out of town." I did not even bother lying to her.

"Out of town?" Her crease deepens.
"Yeah, i um... i need to see someone tonight. It's really important."

"Can you elaborate on that phrase?"
I am human, and despite the fact that there is a demon living inside of me, i can't see my own facial expressions but if i could, i am pretty sure they were the deep lines between my brows and a look in my eyes that red honest remorse. But i can see hers and i tell you it is that look that mothers give their kids when they think they have said something that is really funny but is not really funny at all, like in a sarcastic 'come again?'.

"I can't" i said not looking at her "if i do then i would have to lie to you, i don't want to lie to you".

"Who says you have to lie?" She asks sounding baffled and a bit surprised. I understand why though, i have never spoken such kind of words to her before. I always told her what i was doing, where i was going and why i was doing so, so her surprise is justifiable.

"Look at me Dian" she commands and i do as she says. How bad would it have been if i had just gone right straight through the door? It truly could not have been as bad as having to look my mother in the eye, trying not to lie to her about something i could not speak of while letting her know that i am keeping something from her and having her look at me with a gaze that says 'i'm not going to pressure you into doing anything but you have to tell me everything that is going on without me actually having to ask' right? "Tell me the truth."
Her eyes, the enchanting color of blue green that looked a darker shade of green due to the reflection of white light in this little dinning room, a color that i inherited purging into my soul and carving emotions, emotions that i had no idea could dignify whether she gets to live or not. She had me in a trance of contemplation on if i was to speak.

It was like she knew exactly what she was doing, like she was intentionally trying to make me purged to speak without having to force me to. It was sickening, it was an overwhelming guilt trip and i hated the feeling. Judging by the sudden splitting head ache that had engulfed me and the heat that spread through my veins, i knew i was running out of time.
It was exactly the same feeling i felt before the whole shit storm went down with Damon, and i knew it was just a matter of time before it starts fighting its way to come out again and i had to get as far away from mum and Faye as possible before i would do something i was going to regret later.

"I can't mum."

"Why not?"

"You would never look at me the same" my voice dropped into a whisper, she was not supposed to hear but by the expression on her face i could tell that she heard me very clearly, i did not want to be questioned any further so i quickly picked up my bag and rose to my feet about to leave "i'm really sorry mum, i promise i will be back soon..." the pain was getting stronger and my vision was becoming even more blurry "tell Faye not to come find me".

I walked quickly to the door, trying to control my breathing and not let the heat consume me. But i was too late, i saw her eyes, those eyes that keep hunting my dreams trying to take over my consciousness. I felt the pain shoot right up my head like i had just been hit with a rod behind my head. The sound that escaped my lips did not sound anything like me as i fell to my knees.

I could see my mother rush up to me and her mouth moving really fast but i could not hear a thing. I had frozen, it was like i was stuck in a plane between consciousness and unconsciousness.

And then i was there again. That empty plane filled with nothing but a never ending darkness and the troubling voices of the demon inside my head. "Give it up" i could hear the whispers of her voice, "give me control".

I did not want to, i could not and i just kept on screaming a bunch of no's, shouting at the top of my lungs but it seemed like they were of no use, because i could feel the darkness slowly swallowing me whole. And just when i was about to give in, just when i was about to let it consume me, i felt a gash of ice cold melt the intense heat and for the first time, there was light.

"Dian!" He voice was filled with panic, "Dian open your eyes".

I did. I opened my eyes to see my panicking mother staring down at me with fear in her eyes while holding on to my face. I had lost count of the amount of expressions i had seem on her face tonight, and in all of them, she had not been wearing the usual glee of happiness she held in her eyes and it made me feel terrible.

I was soaked in cold water that made me want to shrink, there was a small bucket beside her and i knew she was the one who gave me night shower.
"I'm okay" i said rubbing my eyes and sitting up. I don't know what just happened but i am happy whatever happened, happened.

"No, you are not okay!" I stud up picking my bag with me. It was getting too late already, i did not have anymore time to waste.

"Really, i'm fine mum, stop panicking."

"What was that just now? You looked like..."

"It was nothing, just a minor concussion. It happens sometimes, after the accident i have been having a few ...issues" just a few minutes ago i was battling with my inner self about lying to her and now i was spitting these lies like it was nothing but it pricked at my gut.

"Why did you not tell me about this since?" She looked furious.

"I didn't think it was important".

"What! You didn't think? You didn't think? I can't believe you Dianna!"

"I'm sorry okay. i couldn't put all that pressure on you mum you're already...." i paused searching for the right words to use "..stressed."

"Fuck that!" I looked at my mother, mouth agape. She never cussed, she always gave me shit whenever i did. "I don't care about that Dianna, we are talking about your...."

"Hey! mum, shhh" i clasped my palms around her face "breathe".

She did as i said, taking in slow deep breaths and closed her eyes trying to calm herself. She always did this whenever she was panicked, it is like she just forgets to breathe for a while.

"You scared me" she said really softly.

"I'm sorry" i made sure she saw the genuine remorse in my eyes as i spoke, "come on, you need to rest".

She shook her head energetically in a negative way. "Not until i call Dr Brewer".

"Mum, there is no need for that." i took her hand and led her to her bedroom, "you can do that tomorrow okay? Right now the only thing i care about is that you take time off and go to bed".

She did not stop frowning. But at least she sat down still on her bed and really looked at me. "What about you?"

"Don't worry about me."

"But i am. I'm really worried about you Dian."

"I'm worried about you." I say while caressing her hand. "How about we make a deal? We both stop worrying about each other for tonight and go to bed, that sound good?"

"You know you can tell me anything right?"

"I know that" i said with a faint smile. "I'm going back to the dinning to help you pack up all your stuff " i brush the corner of her eyes "you're already having stress lines, i doesn't look good on you".

For the first time that night, a small chuckle escaped her lips, "i love you baby."

I almost teared up with just that simple statement "i love you too." I helped her take off her socks "dream of ponies, i know you love them. I found your old stash of princesses and ponies in the basement" i said with a shake of my head "sometimes i wonder who the kid is between the both of us".

"It's me then" she chuckled and i smiled.

"Night mum."

"Night darling".
*******

Freddie was a road full for me. Whatever that is. I can't remember how many times i had to stop to check his engine. I had just kept on praying he would make it without any casualties. And he did.

By the time i got to Sharelake it was already past midnight and i had nowhere to stay. So i called the last person i ever thought i would.

"Dad?"