Demon Host

CHAPTER EIGHT- Away with my heart

^^^^Listen to - drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo

"I'm leaving."

Two words that destroyed my insides and made me feel like a crumbled pile of dust. This is some kind of joke, it had to be.

"What do you mean you are leaving?".

"I mean exactly what i said Dian, i am leaving Randall".

It was like a blow to the stomach. I stared at my grey eyed blond boyfriend not wanting to believe he was serious. lately that is all i have been doing, not wanting to believe anything is real, not wanting to believe all the changes that keep showing up in my life one by one. Damon does not joke about stuff like this i know it and i do not want to overreact to this information so i just closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"I got an open spot at NYU for Geometry and chemical engineering due in a week." This is good news, this should be good news. This is everything he has ever wanted, i should be happy for him but does it make me a bad person that i am not?

"When? when are you leaving?".

"Tomorrow."

I felt hurt, i wanted to cry but i did not, i could not. It felt like being punched on an already deep stab wound. It took me exactly twenty seconds to rap my head around it. I scoffed.

"Where you even going to tell me?" I finally looked him up in the eye for the first time since the beginning of this conversation. If he had gotten this spot then he probably got the message a long time ago. Not today, not yesterday but probably a matter of weeks, maybe before i even woke up. And he had five days, five freaking days to tell me this but he did not. He just let me believe that we were the infinite couple that would get through everything life put us through no matter what, but i guess not.

He did not say anything for a while before he finally spoke, " i didn't know how to" he looked away. "I wanted to, i just..."

"I am happy for you." I faked a smile, lying right through my teeth. Maybe this is a good thing, with all the shit that has been going on lately, i do not know how i am going to string Damon along with all the drama. Maybe it is better he stays far away from me. Right now i do not trust myself with anything or anyone, and the last thing i ever wanted was to hurt Damon. I would never be able to forgive myself if that was to happen. So yes maybe him moving a thousand miles away from me was the best option even though i hated it.

"Are you really?".

"Yes" i nodded "as a matter of fact i am. I mean this is all you have ever wanted even though it is without me. I would never get in the way of your happiness".

We had been taking a late stroll on the night streets with two shopping bags on our arms. I gripped on to mine very tightly trying to pull myself together.

"Dian...."

"I mean it" i smiled at him "i really mean it. Although i am a bit mad you did not tell me about this earlier."

"I am sorry" the expression on his face red genuine remorse " it is just that you just woke up less than a week ago and you were still getting to know your surroundings and all the changes and things you missed, plus you were so happy to see me, i did not want to ruin that for you".

"I get it."

"That does not mean we can not work though".

"Actually it does, yes it does."

"So you are saying...."

"That we can not do the distance thing". I swallowed the bile in my throat, telling myself it was the right thing to do. He looked really hurt. His lips were pressed together, he had that calculative look in his face, his pale grey eyes sparked with restraint, but unlike myself who was battling tears, there was none in his eyes.