Whenever Ryuu goes on twitter to find any hate comments about her, one thing would bother her the most. It's when people would say that her personality is made up, unoriginal and is the same as other. It got her thinking maybe she's been living her life as someone else and never Ahn Ryuna. She doesn't care about hate comments that much since they're all pretty much the same everytime that she had grown numb towards it. However, that one comment would haunt her in her sleep.
Because of that one comment, she stayed up all night, trying to find her "original" personality as she felt like she's been lying to herself all these times. At 3 in the morning, she left the dorm, wearing her padded jacket and head out to the nearest convenience store. Ryuu hated drinking alcohol as she's bad at them but at times like this, she needed them. Hence why she bought three bottles of soju and drank them at the playground all by herself.
Her heart hurts. It's a pain that she can't quite explain but one thing she knows is that it hurts so bad that tears began falling out of her eyes. The alcohol burnt her throat as she gulped it down like water. No words escaped her mouth but it's clear that she's in a miserable state. Thousands of screams wanted to escape her throat but nothing came out, only soft whimpers and sobs.
She crouched next to the slide with a bottle of soju in one hand and the plastic containing two other bottles of soju in another. People who passed by stared at her with pity but none of them went to help her or provide any comfort for her. No one seems to know that she's Ryuu. Well, no one could really see her face with how much she's covered up.
"Ryuna! Ahn Ryuna! Ryuu!"
The faint sound of someone calling her name is heard. Her mind is hazy so she couldn't hear them. "Ryuu! Ryuna!" His voice is getting clearer, yet Ryuu couldn't bring it within her to respond to him. She fears that he will be worried once he sees the state Ryuu is in. "Ryuu! Here you are!"
She looked up to Jimin and Taehyung with glossy eyes and red cheeks. "Ryuna? What happened? Why are you crying out here? It's dangerous, you do know it, right?" As soon as Taehyung approaches Ryuna, she backs away into the slide, not wanting to be with anyone except for herself. She had enough of people ridiculing and hating her simply for breathing and living. Jimin placed his hand on Taehyung's shoulder and shook his head.
"Ryuna ya.." he called out sweetly, knowing that she's really sensitive. She backed away from him as if he is a deadly disease. After a while, the two of them gave up on making her come out so they sat on the ground next to the slides, hearing her cries hurt them but there's nothing they can do to make her feel better.
Her sniffles were heartbreaking. "Is it my fault that I'm the same as everybody else? There's so many people on this earth. Some of our personalities are bound to overlap. That's how people make connections!" She sobbed, "I just don't understand why people are hating me so much just because I'm the same as other people. I'm still me. I'm still Ahn Ryuna!"
Taehyung hugged his knees close to his chest while pursing his lips. Nothing he could say could counter back what Ryuu had said because it was nothing but the cold hard truth. "Being an artist is my dream! It was a young, innocent girl's dream!" She shouted at the top of her lungs, feeling like she didn't get the justice she deserves. "But clearly I didn't think it through because if I did then none of this would've happened."
Jimin finally nodded his head, "you're right, Ryuna."
Taehyung had never whipped his head so fast towards Jimin who's now staring at the moon with a smile on his face. One thing that Tae had noticed is the tears that rolled down his cheeks as he smiles. "It was a young, innocent girl's dream but as you grow up, you realised that you might have chosen the wrong path and everything that you did all these time was just a waste of your time. I totally understand where you're coming from because I've been there myself."
The younger guy had his shoulders slumped as he heard Jimin's reasoning. Jimin had gone through a lot himself and he surely knows a lot about how the industry works. Ryuu had stopped crying as she leaned against the wall of the slide, listening to Jimin as he speaks.
"But if you were to go back in time again, wouldn't you do this all over again? Because it was your dream and you had no clue what the future held for you?" Taehyung hums, silently agreeing with Jimin. Jimin sighed heavily as if a big weight is lifted off his shoulders. It felt good to let it out finally. "I...."
Ryuu had become speechless. Her mind is hazy from the alcohol and stress that she could barely think straight. But Jimin's words did things to her mind and it gave her some sort of comfort. "I just wanted to be myself. I just wanted to be Ahn Ryuna. No one else. Just me." Slowly, her pronunciation started to change as it gets slurry. A few minutes after, only soft snores were heard. Jimin wiped his tears away with his palms and stood up to fetch the sleeping girl.
Taehyung didn't even utter a word as he helped Ryuu on Jimin's back. On the way back to their house, Taehyung had million questions running through his head. "Do you feel better, Jimin?" The guy turned to Tae with his sweet eye smile and nodded his head. "I didn't know you were struggling like that. You told me that you were getting better."
He purses his lips, already expecting that question. "I am indeed getting better but healing takes time, Tae. Trauma don't heal over one night. You yourself know that well. It takes time." Jimin smiled sadly, "I know how much it hurts to feel like how Ryuu is feeling right now and she has gone through so much in her life, so I wanted to at least know that she's not feeling all those scary feelings alone."
Taehyung agreed with Jimin. "If I was in her shoes, I'd have given up long ago. She's really strong and I admire her the most for it."
Jimin chuckled and sighed after. It was refreshing to have a short deep talk sometimes. He didn't know it was needed but it was surely a relief to let it all out. Taehyung finally plastered a smile on his lips, "I realized something from today, Jimin."
"And what would that be?"
"Like Ryuu said, there's so many people on this earth and our personalities are bound to overlap in a way or another and that's absolutely true. Of course, we are our own person and that makes us unique. We doesn't need to be different in order to be seen or heard by others. What matters most is that we be ourselves. Because we knows ourselves the best."
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