𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐞 [𝐇.𝐒] vol.2

𝟏𝟓

I could be far away from home
I would face my fears, and they disappear
I'd be happy on my own
Falling in love, wouldn't be hard
I could deal with a broken heart
I'd be anything that I wanted to be
And I'd never feel my scars

face my fears- isak danielson

"I'm sorry I need a second here" 

I watched Chris grab a shot of tequila and drown it, she thought it was stupid at first that I had taken my emotional support tequila with me to our session but now it's not stupid with what I just told her. If I wasn't doing the whole sober thing I would have needed that shot too.

But I was too drunk on my emotions to even think about drinking. 

I was suffocating actually. 

"Let me get this straight" She coughed putting down the shot down giving me a narrowed look "You ran into your ex-boyfriend that lied to you about a lot of things and the first thing you do is fuck him? Are you out of your mind? I thought you were mad at him!" Angry, pissed off and frustrated were all the things I felt the moment I saw him, when my eyes locked with his for the first time. I had a storm of emotions brewing around.

But the moment I saw the pain in his eyes, the small relief to see me where...it all just slipped out of my mind...all I wanted was him. 

"Do you have to question my sanity right now?" I argue not having much to defend myself with anyways.

Chris laughed "I thought we talked about this too, talking about how to feel, expressing yourself with your feeling. Not fucking him the first time you see him in over two weeks -I should have made that more clear" 

I sighed laying down on the couch grabbing a decorative pillow to hug as I watched her push the tequila bottle more towards her side, even if I had managed very well to not feel the urge to drink when I'm stressed or crave it as much as I did before.

I did crave it still, there was that need for it when I was alone and sad. But being afraid I'd fall back into the bottle I started coming here when I was alone and technically Jack was in the house with me, yet our minds weren't there. 

Especially Jack's....he seemed distant...not himself. 

"Why do I have a feeling that you would still do it?" I gave her a look, the type of look that gave her the idea that I would have probably done it over and over again if we back in time. 

How could I not, the sex was mind blowing. 

"I'm a whore" I sighed making her laugh "But you don't understand what that man does to be Chris, he is like sex on a stick, one kiss and he's like a drug and I want more of him....he looked at me with those eyes and all I could think of was his hard-"

"Please don't say penis...to straight for me" She cringed trying to get the mental images of dicks out of her mind, good thing she's a gold star lesbian. Never seen one and never touched on.