𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐞 [𝐇.𝐒] vol.2

𝟏𝟔

You and I drink the poison from the same vine

Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time

Hidin' all of our sins from the daylight

From the daylight, runnin' from the daylight

daylight- david kushner

"There's a lot to talk about isn't there" 

I was the first to break the silence since we had left the parking lot and I was surprised when Harry brought me to the campus we first met leading me towards the spot I had defined as mine, the spot everyone knew where to find me every two weeks. 

He didn't try to make small talk as we sat there for a few minutes, he just watched the clouds cover the stars making him frown at the sky as if committed some sort of treason with him, I would laugh if I wasn't anxious about our talk. This wasn't like therapy where Chris knew what I was about to say or how I felt even though Harry sometimes did it, this was different, my background how I grew up weren't all that highlighted by him.

Going into detail was something I haven't done, it was a side that of my past I didn't want him to see while with Chris...she knew, she saw and helped. 

This was literally placing all my cards on the table, letting him see all the dark parts...the bloody ones and what if he wasn't ready to see that part of me or if I wasn't ready to hear what he held out of reach for me. I was suffocating trying to think of how this conversation go, we can't just go head first like it was something normal, a month later without seeing each other...and fucking the two times we have seen each other wasn't going back to normal. 

Maybe I didn't graduate therapy again...I was still confused on all this.

"Charlie, you're in your head again" Harry's voice snapped me out even though it was soft and gentle, my eyes met his and I felt mine water as I realized that I had forgotten to speak after breaking the silence "It's me baby...you know that nothing you say is gonna make go away, I know its different now but we are still us..."

I couldn't help but nod while tearing fell from my eyes and I was trying very hard not to break down into tears then what would be the point of this all, he wouldn't push me to talk if I was to emotional knowing I would need a boundary to keep myself from falling apart. 

I took in a shaky breath in "Why did you accept the money? When did I even stop becoming a job...or was a always just a source of cash" I asked watching his face turn dark as if the question was some sort of torture I had inflicted on him. Like I had told him something much worse.

"No-"

Harry combed his hair back shaking his head with a look on his face I couldn't really pin point. 

"You were suppose to be a job, I was never suppose to get involved or be near you that much but...I just couldn't, I felt like I was being pulled by a magnet when I saw you and I just needed to be near you" He exhaled all in one breath his hands now gripping his pants as he continued his face contorting in pain "I pulled out of the offer of getting paid...after 2 weeks of meeting you...I couldn't..."

"Why?" 

Harry's eyes met mine as he smiled "I was falling in love and I didn't know at the time. I wanted you in every shape and form, I would have been taking care of you even if the money wasn't involved...I wanted to tell you so many times but I knew it would hurt you...break you that the only reason we are together is because I was paid too" My heart was beating wildly at his confession, the way he smiled when he said he was falling in love with me while the money didn't matter anymore. It was me and him from the start. Harry stole my heart from the start sowing all the pieces that seemed to be falling apart while I was doing the same to his...I stole his heart from the moment I met him.