Oneshots|YEONBIN

Last Breath

Soobin held back tears as Yeonjun cried into his chest. He could feel his small hands grip his dark shirt tightly in his fist as he sobbed.

They were lying down together on Yeonjun's bed, Soobin sitting up against the headboard and Yeonjun lying on top of him.

They both knew Yeonjun didn't have much time left. They both knew they wouldn't be together forever. So Soobin stayed with Yeonjun, living together in his home for the little amount of time he had left.

Soobin wanted to be the first person Yeonjun saw when he finally opened his pretty eyes in the early morning.

Soobin wanted to be the one cooking food for Yeonjun whenever he whines for food, because he was just a hungry baby.

Soobin wanted to be there when Yeonjun needed comfort, whether he cried in pain or because he was emotional.

Soobin wanted to be there when Yeonjun was facing happiness, smiling so bright that they could forget about the problem that would seperate them.

Most importantly, Soobin wanted to be there when Yeonjun took his last and final breath.

Yeonjun was stubborn but weak.

He refused to stay at the hospital during his last final moments, even after Soobin begged in tears.

He told Soobin that the hospital just reminded him that he was sick, weak and near death.

He told him that he wanted to stay at home, with him, where it feels like everything's alright, that he's not sick, even if it wasn't true.

Soobin hesitantly agreed, with the compromise of having nurses and doctors in the house.

Yeonjun didn't like it at first, seeing no point of staying home anyway, but seeing Soobin almost break down in tears when he was about to refuse again, he reluctantly agreed.

Soobin treated him like a doll, like he always did even before he found out he was sick.

It always made Yeonjun want to break down in the moments where Soobin would softly whisper to him that he was fragile, delicate and should be treated with utter most care.

He wanted Soobin to be the one who did that for him. And Soobin did.

Soobin always held Yeonjun tightly, carried him lightly, and kisses him softly.

But Soobin would bite his lips during those moments because within every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, he could physically feel and see Yeonjun grow weaker.

It broke him so much.

He'd cry secretly when Yeonjun was out of his sight, with a doctor, watching a movie or fast asleep.

He just couldn't process the fact that one day, Yeonjun would be nowhere to find in this world.

A world without him, made Soobin realise how Yeonjun was his world.

"Soobin...No....Binnie." Soobin looked down at Yeonjun, who take long hard steady breaths. He held back his cry.

Binnie. Yeonjun only started calling him that when he found out how sick he really was, confronting him with hurt.

"I feel sleepy...I promise, I'll open my eyes when I wake up."

Funny. They both weren't ones to make promises to each other. It was always an 'I will', because promises were meant to be broken.

"...I know Jun...And I promise to be here when you open them." He gave a bittersweet smile because they both knew that one of them was lying.

One won't open their eyes.

And the other will be there, waiting for those eyes to open.

Soobin watched without blinking.

He was scared to miss the last moment of his lover.

He watched the fox eyes he cherished so much, cover by the eyelids.

He watched his plump full lips open to take a husky breath.

Another one.

And another one.

He didn't know how long it was until he felt a pause in his lover's breathing.

"Jun...?" His voice cracked terribly. "Are you...asleep?"

There was no reply. Just complete silence.

No breath coming from the male he loved. Just the empty weight of him. No colour on his once glowing skin.

"You're at peace now. Aren't you?" Soobin tried his best not to cry.

He was always the one who acted tough but Yeonjun saw through all that.

So now that he was gone. He'd cry and cry for him.

He softly ran his hand through Yeonjun's locks of dark hair, that he chose to dye after so many colours.

Soobin then held Yeonjun's left hand because Yeonjun always held his right.

"I love you. So much...More than that. And I always will."

'Will'. Not a promise, but a will.

Published: 20/11/2022

A/n: First angst! I hope it was good enough to convey emotions. I just woke up one morning and decided to write this because I had the urge. I ended up crying midway and never finished it.