Stupid.
I was driving to Risa's house, susunduin ko lang si Aika from the engagement party. Hindi talaga ako pumunta kahit na free ako. Para sa ano pa?
So here I am, leaning on my car, cussing kasi ang tagal lumabas ni Aika. It was 11:30 pm guests are starting to go home now. I sighed. Mamaya makita pa ako dito eh.
I tried calling Aika, di sumasagot. I was tapping my fingers repeatedly.
"Leni! "Risa was calling me.
Lord parang awa mo na. I press my eyelids firmly closed. Ano klaseng timing nanaman nito.
"Lens! "Risa tapping my shoulders.
"Ris, hello. Susunduin ko lang si Aika. "
I took a step back. Flushed cheeks, hooded eyes, clearly makainom na. Patay.
"I missed you! Bakit hindi ka nagpaparamdam? Parang wala tayong pinasamahan." Risa chuckled caressing my arm.
I froze, ang ganda ganda niya parin. She was glowing when the post light hits her skin.
Stupid.
I said nothing, I was staring and memorizing every corner of that beautiful face. Reddened cheeks, oh how I miss touching those. Lips forming into a smile.
"Na-busy lang sa office Ris." I said cooly.
"Ah. Busy. You know Aika's telling me diba. You can't lie to me you know?" She scooted closer to me.
"How is he? "Avoiding her gaze. Looking up the sky.
"We're fine. You haven't met him no? "She said innocently.
"Bakit ko naman siya gusto ma-meet Ris? You don't need my approval. Sino ba naman ako." I smiled bitterly, avoiding to meet her eyes.
"Alam mo naman kung ano ka kahalaga sakin Lens. You know too much not to care." She replied.
She slowly lifted her hand reaching to touch mine. She holds them, carresing her thumb on my palm. Pulling me closer.
No. No. No.
She's drunk leni, be the bigger person here. I said to my self. Trying to lose her grip on my hand.
"Risa." Saway ko sa kanya. She didn't even heard me.
She glided her hands from the tip of my fingers through the bareness of my neck. Touching my cheek. Looking at me with her pale brown eyes. Her hands stayed there, almost saying that it missed me. She look at me intently, contemplating if she really wants to say it.
"Ris stop, baka may makakita sayo. Please. I~ "
"Bakit ka pumayag na pumalayo ako sayo?" She asked me. She cut me off, her eyes glinting with tears. Her eyes looked sad and lost.
I'm s~
"You could have told me to say no to him Leni, you know I'll choose you. I'll choose you more than anyone else. You know that I love you right? "
I was baffled and confused. Maybe dahil nakainom lang siya. Bakit ngayon mo pa to sinasabi Hontiveros.
"Risa, lasing ka lang. You'll regret saying this. Please, nanahimik nako. Please lang."
"I'm sober." Looking at me earnestly. "Tell me Lens, just tell me. Iiwan ko siya para sayo. Please say that you want me back?" Tears streaming on her eyes. Pleading at me. She holds my cheek, gliding her thumb. I looked at her and that was it. I am lost, lost in her presence, engulfed with her scent.
No. No. No.
Stop.
Too late.
I felt her soft lips against mine, kissing me longingly. Taking her time exploring my mouth, "mmmum"I moaned in her mouth. And suprisingly I was kissing her back. Ruffling her hair in the process my other hand clinging on her neck. Fuck. This isn't right, oh but it felt so good. Her hands drifting down my back touching every corne. As she pulls away, I slowly lean on the car door.
We were breathless, not even losing our eye contact. She was about to held my waist again. When Aika spoke at the corner.
"Ma!"
" Andito ka pala Tita? Hinahanap ka nila sa loob." Looking at Risa's direction.
Patay.
We looked at her with wide eyes. Risa hastily fixing her dishevealed hair. Dusting her dress.
"Mauna ako Lens?"
"Uh, yeah. Go ahead."
"I'll call you later." Mouthing without Aika noticing her. I looked at her questionable, ano nanamang problema tong pinasok ko.
"Pasok na Aiks." My daughter looking at me weirdly, as I unlocked the car.
"May sinabi si tita ma?"
"Ah wala Aiks" I was scrambling to turn on the radio.
Nakatanim parin ang gumamelang binalik mo sakin nung tayong maghiwalay~
I quickly switched the knob.
I miss you more than I love you. I do.
And I wonder what we could have been~
Switch.
Sa mga kathang isip kong ito, wari'y dala lang ng pagmamahal ko sayo~
Seryoso?
A glimpse of us~
"Wag nalang tayo mag music." Sabi ko while fastening my seat belt.
"Ito na ma, magspo-spotify nalang ako ma."
I sighed.
Tangina.
Ding~ my phone lit up.
Drive home safe. 💓
R
I pressed my temple.
"Putangina Hontiveros." I hissed
Parang susumpongin ako ng migraine ko.
"Ma okay ka lang?" Aika asked me.
I nodded, starting the car and driving away.
