Why Me?

Thoughts...

I sat on my bed in silence, tears now streaming down my face all at once. 'Did Connor really mean what he said? Why didn't he just tell me in person? Why?'  My thoughts are interrupted by a knock at my door.

"Who is it?" I ask wiping my tears away immediately.

"It's me, Ali. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, Umm... I'm coming." I walk over to my door and look at myself in the mirror before opening it.

"Are you okay? Joey and I heard you crying. So, I came to check on you." She says this nervously, but I don't know why. May be that we never really talk to each other unless Joey is around.

"Umm, yeah I-I'm fine. I'm just I don't know, but yeah I'm fine." I lied. I don't feel to good about it either.

I fake a smile and look at Ali. If only she saw through my 'smile'. She smiles back and hugs me. Ali then releases from the awkward hug and walks back downstairs.

I look over to my bed where the letter lays. I close my door and walk over to my bed. I sit down and pick up the crumpled letter again. I feel the tears form in my eyes. I go to my window seat and sit.

I stare out the window and space out. I see my neighbors in their front yard. They seem happy, holding hands, smiling, talking, and looking out to the road while cars pass by. 'I wonder if  I will ever find  love or  stay alone all my life. I wish I find someone, I just hope so.'

I lean my head on the wall and close my eyes. I start thinking about my past.

***

"Are you ready?!" Joey smiles

"Yes!" I scream in excitement.

"Okay, give me your hands." Joey grabs my hands and swings me around. We fall to the floor, dizzy, after a while. I feel the warm sand underneath me. I laugh and look over to Joey at 9 yrs. old.

"That was fun!" I giggle

"Okay let's go eat now." Joey picks me up and puts me down again.

***

I remember that day at the beach. I was still happy, I enjoyed life, and I always tried making the best of everything. I was 6 and Joey was 9. We used to always get along, but now we rarely talk and when we do we fight or talk about my depression.

While in my thoughts I open my eyes to the sound of a car door closing. I look out my window to see a navy blue mini van. I see my Mom come out with many bags. She was gone for 2 weeks in Chicago, Illinois due to work. It was a business trip.

"I'm home!" I hear the call go through out the house. I run downstairs to the kitchen knowing I would find my mother their. She was putting away groceries.

"So, how was Chicago?" I ask not really caring.

"Oh hi mom, I missed you. How are you? How was Chicago? Was it fun?" She says annoyed and gives me a weird look.

"Sorry..." I say in a sarcastic tone.

"Well, anyways Chicago was okay, but I got a call, in the middle of a meeting, from your school." She says this with a sad, confused, yet surprised expression.

"What about it?" I ask worried as I look down at the table.

"Well, they told me that you Ummm... You... cut yourself." She says this with a sad and gloomy face.

"It's not like you care..." I say in a whisper. I regret saying this right after I say it.

"Honey, why do you think that?" She responds calmly

"Maybe its because you are never here for me and Joey! Or is it the fact that you never talk to me and Joey when you get home! Maybe its the fact that you don't even know what is going on in our lives." I say the last one calm as my voice gets lower and quieter after every word.

"I do care, okay! Don't ever say I don't care about you or Joey. I am the one working late night and keeps a roof over OUR heads. So don't go around saying I don't care because I DO!" She shouts startling me.

"What's going on?!" Joey interrupts the conversation saving me with Ali behind him.

"Nothing I was just leaving." I say tears rolling down my face. I run to my room and grab a bag. I pack clothes, my phone, my phone charger, my hair brush, my headphones, $1,000 that I have saved up for the last couple years, and last I pack my blades. I close my bag and run downstairs. I hug Joey and Ali then walk away.

"Where are you going!? You have no where to go!" My mom shouts at me.

"Some where that isn't here! It's not like you care anyways!" I shout while leaving, Slamming the door behind me.

...................................................................

Hey weirdos here ya go. ;) Enjoy! Thank you for being so patient. Special thanks to Madison my friend that helped me and encouraged me to finish this book. @traffic_cone123

Love ya guys! Stay Beautiful And weird My Weirdos!