Delicate and Ruthless (SERIE FEROCI 11)

Chapter Thirteen

I don't know what to feel. That sight made me scared... so scared. I wondered if I'm gonna end up like that too... I wonder if I'll die in his hands too. Would I even hate him if that happens? Hindi ko na alam. Natatakot ako... pero hindi para sa buhay ko... Natatakot akong kamuhian ni Lorden.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko. Bakit hindi ko magawang matakot para sa sarili ko? Bakit sa sitwasyong 'to... mas naiisip ko pa ang iisipin ni Lorden tungkol sa akin... ang mararamdaman niya tungkol sa akin.

"Kate..."

I flinched when I heard Lorden's voice. I gulped and stopped painting. I glanced at him and forced a smile... I hated myself for giving him a fake smile... for deceiving him like this... but I didn't have a choice. I was never free. I would never be free.

"You're painting again." Lumapit siya sa akin at ngumiti.

Ngumiti na lang ako nang humalik siya sa sentido ko. Naramdaman kong humawak siya sa baywang ko... gamit ang kamay na ginamit niya nang patayin niya ang babae kanina.

I wanted to know more about Lorden... not about him being a mafia boss or being a member of a powerful organization... I just wanted to know him, his true self, his feelings, his weaknesses, his reasons... I want to know and understand him more.

"Hey. You're painting something dark this time."

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Ngumiti na lang ako saka napahawak sa batok ko. "I have... quite diverse art style."

Lorden nodded and smiled at me. He kissed my forehead and tucked my hair behind my ear. "Have you eaten? I'll cook for you."

I stared at him. I stared straight into his green eyes... I had to face it. I was always curious why he was acting like this to me... He was so soft and gentle with me. I always knew he was ruthless and merciless... and I just saw it in my own eyes. But I couldn't doubt him either.

I may be a fool for thinking this... but it really didn't matter to me at all if he was being sincere or not... if this was all real or not, if he was just bored and wanted to play with me... It didn't matter to me at all as long as I was happy... and even if it wouldn't last for long.

I just wanted to experience it... to be genuinely happy, to be free even for a short time, to be loved and treasured... even if it wasn't real.

"Kate... why are you crying?"

I flinched when Lorden touched my cheek. I could see the evident worry and fear in his eyes. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin at napahawak sa pisngi ko. Napalunok na lang ako nang mapagtantong napaluha na nga ako nang tuluyan.

"M-may naalala lang ako," bulong ko saka tipid na ngumiti sa kaniya.

Lorden didn't seem to be convinced. He pulled a chair and sat beside me. I froze when he suddenly pulled me into a tight hug. Naramdaman kong bahagyang siyang nanginginig, mabilis din ang paghinga niya.

"You're cute and beautiful even when you cry... but your tears this time... seem to be sad tears. I don't like it at all," he murmured and hugged me tighter, as if he didn't want to let me go.

I bit my lower lip and suppressed my tears from falling as hard as I could. I just forced a smile and hugged him back. "I'm fine, Lorden. May binasa lang talaga akong sad book at naalala ko kaya ako naiyak. You don't have to worry."

Lorden sighed. "Tell me the title and I'll burn every copy of that fucking book."

Gumaan ang pakiramdam ko sa sinabi niya at natawa. Marahan akong kumalas sa pagkakayakap niya saka hinampas siya sa dibdib. "Grabe ka naman. Ang OA," natatawang sabi ko na lang.