Act 1:
In the midst of the rekha vs jews war of 1854, Edward had been in a cranky mood. He hadn't felt this bad since his Mexican porn had been banned 30 years ago. His favourite Walmart store has been shelled and he no longer had access to the long (very long) tasty lime green condoms which acted as an insulator for his long (very long) showers during thunderstorms. Due to these unfortunate circumstances, he had to settle for Big bazaar.
He walked in, already unhappy with the service. Until of course, he laid his eyes on her lime green unnaturally long hair (very long) soaking with gingelly oil and the huge pituitary gland that it hid under her large hypothalamus.
She stood behind the counter in her long lime green Big bazaar uniform (very long), bagging the groceries and looking absolutely edible doing it. He salivated at the sight of her long (very long) fingers putting vegetables in a bag. He could smell her sweet deoxygenated blood rushing through her salmon pink pulmonary artery and her long bare (very long) neck, open to bite. Edward was all about that length and this lime green gingelly oil girl radiated length.
Just as he was admiring this long (very long) woman, Barbarius the Thundersnatcher, He of Great Width (very wide), walked up to her and immediately headed for the Mexican porn section.
But alas, it was not to be.
The Mexican porn section had been shelled during the Rekha-Jew War, and Barbarius the Thundersnatcher, He of Great Width (very wide), was aghast. He shot a wide (very wide) thunderbolt at Edward in pure lime green rage. This annoyed Edward, who had a chronic phobia of width. But the thunderbolt never connected with its target.
The gingelly oil girl had snipped off her long (very long) hair and was rotating the filaments with great perpendicular distance and force, and using her powers of length to combat the great width of Barbarius the Thundersnatcher, He of Great Width (very wide).
There was a blinding flash of lime green light. Edward stared at the long (very long) woman in awe. He felt an intense lime green long (very long) feeling, one that he had never felt before. He was in love. Sadly, he had to go into long (very long) hibernation for the next 54 years due to his intense Spanish porn addiction.
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Bible 2: RETURN OF THE JESUS
Romansa"For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. But your mom is mine." -Jesus probably
