Wasp - A Chris Motionless Love Story

Chapter Fifteen - Jealousy

AURORA'S POV
Over the next couple months as we moved into the rather excessive house Chris had gotten us in Texas, he could tell something was just off. I wasn't eating hardly anything, and, when I wasn't unpacking, I was sleeping on the couch. It was an excessive amount of sleep. I knew what was going on, the feeling was quite familiar. The feeling of fading away into everything around me, the feeling of inadequacy to everyone and everything. Though Chris often expressed every day how ecstatic he was for our new journey together, I couldn't help but feel the small aching pain of just... not being good enough. I mean, how could he settle for me? I wasn't near as gorgeous as her.
I sat out on our patio reading a book, trying not to get consumed in my thoughts. I could feel Chris watching through the glass French doors, his eyes burning a hole in the back of my head, trying to read me. Trying to figure out what was going on in that tiny head of mine because I refused to tell him. It had finally ate him alive, consuming his every thought. He stepped out with and sat down next to me. I stayed engrossed in my book, but it wasn't long before he pulled it out of my hands.

"Ora, what is going on with you?" He asked as he replaced my book with his hands. I shrugged, not wanting to tell him the pathetic reason that I had gone silent.

"It's nothing, I guess it's just my depression is all." He knew it was a lie, though. It wasn't just that.

"You know you can tell me anything, right? No matter how crazy?" He defiantly knew what was bothering me.

"Chris... I just-I feel... inadequate I guess? Like, seeing Gaia just show up, I mean, I always knew she was absolutely gorgeous, but I guess just seeing it in person, and me compared to her..." Chris lended me his full attention, but I could tell there was slight frustration in his eyes. Not with me, just the fact that I feel so low on myself. We'd had the same discussion many times that I need to stop nitpicking everything about my being, that I was perfect the way I was.

"Ora," his fingers pulled my chin up to look at him, "you are the most delicate, beautiful, caring creature. No one, and I mean absolutely not a soul, compares to you. I know we jumped head first into all of this, I know it moved fast, but I wouldn't have done it if I didn't love you, if I wasn't sure about us. You are everything I want. The world could be burning around us, but I wouldn't care so long as I had you by side." His eyes trapped mine in his gaze, pulling me in. We hadn't even really been intimate in quite some time, all because I let my head get in the way. I was horrified he'd see my body and decide he didn't want that anymore. Chris pushed my hair behind my ear, and cupped my cheek with his hand. I smiled lightly at his soft touch.

"There it is, there's that smile I love so much." He whispered softly. He pulled my face to his, and placed a delicate kiss on my lips. I deepened the kiss by grazing my tongue on his lips. Admittedly, I was a little frustrated at myself for not allowing us to have done anything for so long. It was stupid for me to have even thought those things.
~~~~~
"Ora! You're going to be late if you don't get up soon!" I ran out of the bedroom, pulling a jacket over my shoulders. Chris was standing in the kitchen slathering a few pieces of toast with butter and jelly, and pouring a cup of coffee. I quickly snatched the toast off the plate, and then grabbed my bag. I had been a law student for a couple weeks now, and the nights were already long and sleepless, with heaps and mountains of homework. I was just glad I had all of my prerequisites out of the way, so law school was my main focus. That, and wedding planning, which was coming along quite slowly. We had mailed out invites and booked the cemetery in Atlanta, Georgia as our venue, but the clothing and rings were still a huge question mark.

"I'll see you in a few hours, baby." Chris kissed my forehead as he rushed me out the door, and I got into the car. I had decided to take the BMW for that day, just because it was the one that had a full tank of gas. I was probably about 25 minutes away from college campus, which gave me just 5 minutes to run in before class started.