An Accident, A Decision, and Destiny (Revised)

Chapter 2

While I was in my room, crying into my pillow, Mom settled into her recliner in the family room, next to my Dad.

She began to explain what the doctor had discovered about me and how my body was trying to start female puberty.

"You know the doctors told us after his accident that this day would probably come."

"Yeah, I know. I just hoped they were wrong, that by some miracle it wouldn't happen. So how are they going to fix it?"

Mom then began to explain the options the doctor had presented.

"So they can put him on testosterone and he'll be fine." Dad stated as soon as he heard the options.

"Well it's a little more complicated than that," mom informed him. She then explained the downsides of that option.

Dad got quiet and listened as she began to explain the pros and cons of the other options, as well. Finally he spoke up.

"So it sounds like the doctor thinks the best thing to do is to wait a while, allow female puberty to continue to rob him of what ever masculinity he'd ever hope to have and let a child come to his own decision."

"Basically, yeah."

Dad was having a hard time digesting all this information. His eyes were red, his breathing rapid, and his fists tightly balled.

"And we have no say so in the matter? I can't guide my son to the only decision that makes any sense?"

"He has to live the rest of his life with the results of the decision he makes. We can't make that for him and we can't get too involved with pushing him in a direction. If he ends up choosing one just because he knows it's what we want and it doesn't turn out well, he could live the rest of his life resenting us."

My dad cursed through his tightly clinched teeth and punched the tissue box on the end table next to him, sending it flying across the room. It bounced off the television and came to rest on the floor with a dent in the side.

"Robert!" mom yelled at him. "Get a grip. Anger won't fix anything. I understand your frustration, but we need to remain level headed."

"But, my son, my boy, my only heir. My heart aches for him. I can hardly imagine what he's going through and what he will go through regardless of what he chooses. He must be devastated."

Dad closed his recliner and stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"To hug my son and comfort him and let him know I'll be there to help him through this. I'll pay for martial arts lessons to help him better prepare to face any bullying he might face for being smaller than the other boys. I'll help him toughing up as much as possible. I'll buy him a weight set and other gym equipment, hire him a personal trainer. Pay for testosterone treatments. Wherever it takes, I want him to know I'm here to help."

"No, Sit back down, Robert. Right now we need to give him space. We also need to remain open minded about it. He needs time to figure this out himself. You know, he might not choose what you want him to, and that's okay."

"Bu--"

"No, Robert, regardless of what we think, it's his life. He has to live it, not us. No matter what I think about it, I'm willing to support him and help him....or her, be able to live the best life possible. I certainly hope you'll do some soul searching, and when he does make a decision you'll be able to support him the same way."

Dad had begun to tear up right after his angry outburst, but now he had begun to cry.

"My boy, my boy, Why? Why him? Why did this have to happen to him?"