Uncle Wheatley is NOT a moron

In my heart of hearts

"Alright, what's the big surprise?" I asked.

Chell and I were alone at her house to work on her science project. All that day at the office, she had been teasing me about some big surprise that she had for me.

She grabbed my hand and dragged me through the house to the dining room and threw her bag onto the table. "Okay, I'm going to switch back to potato batteries. It was a very good idea."

"You can't just keep switching off like that, Chell."

"I know, I know. But I've got it figured out now. Remember how I said my potatoes weren't big enough?"

I nodded.

"Well...... don't tell anyone I said this, but my dad has been running some experiments that I think are illegal."

"Hm." I was confused. "Isn't your dad a programmer? Didn't he help develop the android brains?"

She shrugged. "No. But he helped develop the 'Handheld Portal Gun'. Whatever that is."

At this point she leaned over to me and whispered, "He's been running different kinds of experiments. Swiping things from the lab, testing things that shouldn't be tested. At least not by him."

She straighted up and spoke in a normal tone. "So, I took something from him that I think is going to help us." She started digging around in her bag.

"Wait, wait, wait. You stole from the lab?"

"No! My dad stole from the lab and then I'd stole from him. Technically it's not stealing if the thing didn't belong to that person in the first place."

"Technically, we're dead!" I snatched the vial out of her hands before she could even show it to me. "This- this is dangerous. We should NOT have this. Here, ever, anywhere! We- we have to put it back. What does it even DO?!"

"It's a growing serum," she sighed, "Look!" She shoved her arms into her bag again and slammed a potato the size of my head onto the table.

"Woah," was all I managed to say.

"I grew it in a day," she snapped.

After a few minutes of staring in disbelief, I shook my head. This is much too dangerous for you to be playing around with."

"You promised to help me with my science project," she said.

"I-"

"You PROMISED." She looked deadly serious.......and desperate.

"I just don't think that-"

"You're not going to tell my dad, are you?" She looked worried now.

I sighed. "No. No of course not. I won't tell your dad."

"Then are you going to help me, or leave me again?"

I sighed again. I knew what she was doing. She was trying to guilt trip me.

And unfortunately, it was working. "Of course I'm going to help you, love," I said, "I made a promise."

Her face brightened. "Great! Let's get to work then!"

What was I getting myself into?

.........

"It looks brilliant, Valerie," I said.

A round metal shell was resting on the table.

"Thanks. Jas stayed up with me till three in the morning making that," she replied. She sounded as tired as she looked. "It's just a shell, but it's a start."