Uncle Wheatley is NOT a moron

You are my all

"Uncle Wheatley."

I could faintly hear someone speaking.

"Wake up, Uncle Wheatley."

"Hhhmmmmm?" I slowly opened my eyes. Chell was staring right back at me.

Surprised, I leaned to the side and felt myself slide. I yelped and my chair crashed over onto the ground.

"Are you okay?" Chell helped me to my feet.

"Fine. Just fine."

"You fell asleep again," she said, worriedly.

"It's fine. I'm just a bit tired. Let me finish up here and we can go home."

In truth, I was more than just a bit tired. For the past two nights, I had stayed up till goodness knows how late, working on that darn robot with Valerie.

How she had ever talked me into such a maddening feat, I had no idea. Project Android was three days away. How were we ever going to finish in time?

"You look really tired," said Chell, "Do you want to go home?"

"Five more minutes. Then we'll go." I returned to typing away at my computer.

Again, I wasn't entirely sure what I was writing; I just did what I was told to do. But it seemed to be some sort of letter to Black Mesa..........

'Wannabe' started blaring from my cellphone, echoing off the metal walls and causing several coworkers to stare.

I quickly snatched my phone up and switched it to silent. "Sorry," I said, "Friend got ahold of my phone." I flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Okay, okay," said Valerie's voice through the speaker, "I have to say something really important, but first I have to ask: How many people are staring at you right now?"

"Just about everyone in the room. My volume was up all the way."

She laughed so loudly that I had to move the phone away from my ear to save my hearing.

"Yes, haha," I said mockingly. What do you need?"

"Okay........" Her laughing stopped abruptly. "I need to you to come over. Right now."

"I can't. I'm in work. How are you not?"

"It doesn't matter! I need you NOW. Get over here, fast as you can. Okay? Comprende?"

"Val, I can't just-"

"NOW!" 'Click' She hung up.

I scowled at my phone. "This woman is going to drive me mad," I said, "Alright Chell. Come on. We're going to Aunt Valerie's."

"Nice try, but she doesn't get a special nickname," she replied, throwing on her jacket.

"Haha, put your shoes on."

 

.........

 

I ran through Jason's unlocked front door and down the hall to the library, lab coat billowing behind me. I raced down the steps and into the secret lab. "Valerie! What's the matter?.........oh. Wow."

She was sitting in her chair just in front of the work table that proudly displayed a completed metal sphere. The eye was closed.

"Val its.......... It's wonderful."

"I just finished the external wiring," she said proudly.

"That's incredible."

"It's more than incredible!" she exclaimed, "Do you even know what that means?!" She looked ready to explode from excitement.

"Well it, um..... It means that- Do you- I mean........"

"It means we can test run Project Android. Right here. Right now."

I didn't know what to say.

"Aren't you excited?!" she squealed.

I felt my face grow pink as she grabbed my hand and dragged me closer to the table. "Valerie that's...... That'd brilliant. I can't even express you to how great this is............but I'm scared."

"You don't have to be scared. I'm right here next to you." She put her arm through mine.

I ran a hand over the top handle of the robot. "You did a wonderful job. He looks just like Chell's drawing."

"WE. We did a wonderful job. You certainly helped on this. Now. What should we call him?"

I shrugged. "Chell didn't want to name him. I certainly don't know."

"Hmm....... We'll call him...... Wheatley 2.0."

"Oh no. Am I being replaced so quickly?" I chuckled.

She laughed and rested her head against my arm. "No one could replace you." Then she jumped away and clapped her hands together. "So! Are you ready, Mr. Wheatley?"

"Yes Dr. Valerie, I do believe I am."

"Good. Sit yourself down in that chair and we'll get started."

She turned away, but I grabbed her hand before she could move. "I just wanted to say, again, thank you for this. Even if I don't join Project Android after this, thank you for doing this with me. It's been a lot of fun."

She smiled. "Yes, it certainly has. Now go sit down."

I turned around to the reclined chair in the back of the room. Just as I had with her, Valerie grabbed my arm before I took two steps.

I thought for sure she would say something, but instead she whipped out a syringe and plunged it into my arm. "Gah! What the hell, woman?!" I shouted as the sharp pain drove up to my shoulder.

"I'm sorry! I had to do it when you weren't expecting it. This procedure is going to hurt so I gave you an anesthetic." She pressed a bandaid over it and I winced.

"You are positively, one hundred percent mad," I said.

"I know. Now sit down."

I settled nervously down into the chair. "So......."

"You may want to shut your eyes," she said, holding up IV lines.

I squeezed them shut, but I could still feel the cold pierce in the crease of my elbow.

My mind was spinning. What was I doing? Was I crazy?

I watched Valerie move away and pull out more cables and wires.

Yes, I was crazy. I was crazy for this girl. Something about her made me want to do something insane.

She made her way behind my chair, holding some dangerous looking contraption. "Now, I'd like to apologize in advance for this. It's going to hurt. And also...... I need you to take off your shirt."

"Erm, right. Okay." I unbuttoned my Aperture insignia-ed shirt and dropped it onto the ground.

"Lean back." Valerie sounded as nervous as I felt. "Just hold as still as you can. It's going to hurt."

I exhaled and closed my eyes.

There was nothing for about a minute and then, "Ow."

It was just a little prick. It felt worse than it really was, but after a second the pain was gone.

I sighed. "Well that wasn't so- AH!!!"

Something sharp, thin, and cold dug into my back and clamped around my spine. A loud, lasting scream escaped my mouth. The pain was blinding. My ears would take in sound anymore. Pressure was building in my temples. I couldn't move, or breathe.

Then it stopped.

My breaths were quick and painful. I felt so strange. Like I was floating in a dreamy state.

"Wheatley?" whispered Valerie.

Something whirred in my ear and my eyes opened. "Oh........my head hurts," I groaned.

She gasped loudly. "Oh my gosh. Wheatley?"

Things were whirring all around my head. I tried to shift my position, but my body was locked into place. "A- Ah. I can't..... move."

Valerie stood in front of me. "Wheatley," she sighed, "Wheatley it........ it worked."

"What?" The whirring returned every time I focused on something. 'Click click' I could hear something moving over my head.

Valerie picked up a mirror and showed it to me. I couldn't help but gasp.

I wasn't me anymore. I was round and metal and my eye was a deep blue light. "I......I......... It worked," I said.

Tears were pouring down Valerie's face. She jumped toward the table and wrapped her arms around my little metal frame.

I laughed and I could hear her laughing and crying in joy. "It worked," she kept saying, "We did it. It worked."

She finally pulled away, wiping her eyes. "You just look so......... Oh my gosh. I cannot believe we did this. I can- I could pick you up. To see the room. Or we could....... Oh my....."

"No no," I said, "No thank you. I feel a little sick now. Do you- do you think we could call it quits? This is exciting and all, but...."

"Oh of course. Yeah. I'll disconnect. But tell me really quick, how do you feel?"

I looked all round the room, hearing the whirring of mechanisms in my head, and saw my own body, lying on the reclining chair. "Different," I stuttered, "Um.......I uh, I feel........ Great actually. Brilliant."

She scribbled down on her notepad. "And are you experiencing any pain or discomfort?"

"To tell you the truth, I can't feel a thing."

She finished her notes with a flourish and a smile. "Okay. I'm going to unplug you now. Hold tight."

I waited. A strange swelling feeling was in my chest. A floating feeling. Like I was in the clouds.

Every time I moved my eye or attempted to move any part of my body, that no longer existed, I could feel pieces and gears shifted and move inside of me. It was strange, but incredible.
 
A loud snap sounded in my ears and my vision shut down.

There was silence for a minute.

"Wheatley? Are you okay?"

I groaned as the device ejected from my spine.

Valerie's eyes came slowly into focus. "How are you feeling?" she asked nervously, "Are you alright?"

My head felt light. I was pretty sure my eyes were crossed, but I couldn't tell. The swelling in my chest grew until I could barely breath.

"How are you feeling?" Valerie asked again.

I laughed slightly, then grabbed her shoulders and kissed her full on the mouth.

"Oh!"

She pulled back very quickly, covering her face with one hand.

I snatched my shirt off the ground and buttoned it up.

Valerie cleared her throat loudly. "So the, um.......... The results are...... good. You did great. But the important thing is........ what do you- What are you......"

"Yes," I said.

"Yes? Yes what?" She turned around.

"I'm going to do it," I replied, "I want to sign up. Tomorrow."

She smiled widely. "Okay then! Well...."

"That was the most incredible feeling of my life. Like I was...different. I want to do this. You have encouraged me and helped me beyond thank yous. There isn't anything more I can say or do to make up for everything you've done for me. Valerie, you are the most amazing and beautiful and wonderful and........and-"

I put my hands on either sides of her face. "Thank you," I said with emphasis.

She grabbed my hands, but didn't move them. "You moron," she said.

I scoffed. "A moron? You've got me all wrong, love. I can be quite brilliant when I want to and I-"

"Aw, shut up." She grabbed my shoulders and kissed me in the dim lighting of her childhood laboratory.

Everyday I had been with Valerie, I had been reminded that life was still good even after sour times. She had made my life sweet again after years of rough spots.

Suddenly, she was everything to me. And I might have been leaving normal life behind soon, but I would never let her go.