Homo sapien: An Example of Evolutionary Transgression

The Boot Is On The Other Foot

I have been handling larger venomous snakes for a touch over a quarter of a century - I am 40. I man-handled my first adult Dugite into a bag and, subsequently, into a cage in my bedroom when I was only 14. Its actually quite a funny story. When my best buddy, Rico and I went out a hunting 'big nasties' for the first time Dad told me not to come back with anything over 2 ft. I returned with a 4 ft Dugite from the old Mayland Claypits. I begged and pleaded with my father that it would only be 2 ft long if I folded it in half! He softened and I got to keep it.

From as far back as I can remember I have been dishing out advice on how people in snake-infested landscapes should learn to live among the snakes. If you live near Herdsman Lake you are going to get Tigers in your toilet and if you live in Bayswater or Maylands you are going to get Dugites in your den. "You just need to be 'snake aware'" I would say. "You just need to keep your grass trimmed, your garden undergrowth tidy, and you must not, under any circumstances, promote the proliferation of mice" I said.

Now I have a semi-rural block and guess what? I have a 'snake problem'.

I asserted to so many, for so long, that snakes were easily managed and easy to live alongside. Now every time my daughters go and play by the river my sphincter tightens and I am constantly scanning the bank to see if one of them is staggering, limp and listless, toward me with that vague 'knocking on Death's door' look on their face.

The vegetation along the river has created a Hume Highway between the neighbours on the left and the neighbours on the right and our block (11.5 acres of grassland) is rather akin to those Travel Stops on the autobahns of Europe where you can select all you can eat from either McDonalds, KFC or Burger King all within 100 yards of each other. We have mice by the millions and it appears that the legless locals rather fancy our crawl-through or dine-in options. We tried to do the right thing and slashed all 11.5 acres of waste high wild oats in October last year. All we did was expel row after row of dead grass which provided the mice with no end of nesting habitat and created a euphoria for the snakes who are now so incredibly fat and lethargic that they don't even bother trying to escape capture.

So next time you have a snake in your house, spare a thought for us.

Actually, don't bother as I don't think I ever really spared a thought, or really considered the anxiety and stress that encumbers those that live in close association with the serpent. I guess the only difference between them and I is that if I see the little buggers I can deal with them safely, swiftly and without a requirement to be 'packin' heat' in the form of a 12 gauge shotty.