DARK BOWL CALLED 'HEART'

Helplessly Guilty

Reading those Bible verses and feeling condemned
I know the righteous will be kept safe from the wicked
I should rest my hope in this context and pray
But, I feel like I'm the wicked that would be judged

The Holy Spirit have been trying to speak to me
But I just can't believe He can love me still
That voice told me I'm not wicked, but I'm saved
Yet, I just can't believe it because I'm impure

My thoughts are not wholesome
My actions don't befit perfection
I know I should do better
But I know I can't do better

I really feel depressed and I know it now
I lose energy to do anything
I just want to lay my head and think
Just give up fighting and wallow in self-pity

I crave to cry and shed some tears
My tears won't ever come though
Even if they do, they never roll down my cheeks
I feel like my right person is damaged

I need healing
I'm helpless
I don't know me
But God knows me

I hope You find me, God
I plea for mercy and Grace
Heal me, O God and stay by me
Help me out of all this