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Chapter 1 🤕🫥

Daniel's POV:

I could hear the rain outside. It was pouring down in sheets, booming throughout the confined corners of my bathroom. I could practically feel the walls shaking around me as I sat on the floor of my shower, watching as blood slowly poured from my wrists. It was enticing, watching the thick, red liquid thin out as it hit the water, creating a marbleized swirl of my blood on the floor. I had been cutting for about ten minutes now, and I felt amazing, smiling as the wave of nausea hit me. I continued smiling as the edges of my vision darkened, and as I eventually passed out.

I bet I was still smiling when my mother found me, unconscious, lying in a pinkish mixture of blood and water.

***

I woke up slowly, squinting my eyes against the bright light ahead. Why were hospitals always so damn bright? Did they want everyone to go into shock as soon as they woke up? I glanced around the room, it was the classic hospital room. I was laying on on of those "beds" that were really just a 3-inch-thick mattress sitting on metal bars. There was a heart monitor to my left, beating in a steady, and supposedly normal, pattern. To my right there was an IV with a clear fluid that I wouldn't bother to learn the name of, even if they told me. My mother was sitting in one of two chairs, just to the left of the heart monitor, snoring softly in a position that could not be comfortable. There were two doors, one in front of me and one to my right, I assumed the one in front was the bathroom, judging by its placement.

I looked at myself next. Nothing seemed all that different, and I sighed in frustration at the fact that the doctors had probably found some miracle way to hide my scars. My wrists were bandaged, and the urge to rip of the wrapping and pick the scabs that had most definitely begun to develop was eating me from the inside out. I had just started picking at the first piece of tape when the door to my right creaked open with an eardrum-bursting intensity. I winced slightly as a doctor crept through the doorway, seeming fairly startled by the fact that I had woken up.

"Oh hello," he muttered, looking at me with slightly fearful eyes. "I'm Doctor Brooks." He stood awkwardly, as if expecting me to say something. Instead, I used this time to study him. He was rather tall, at least six feet, and he had dirty blonde hair that was neither messy nor tamed. His eyes were nearly black, which was rather fascinating to see, and his jawline was very sharp. Sharp enough to cut. He was rather muscular, that I could tell even through the coat, and his hands were pretty large, nearly the size of my face.

I noticed that he was still expecting me to answer, causing me to groan slightly before responding. "Hi." He looked slightly shocked at the edge in my voice, as if he thought that I would be happy to be here, not dead. His hands were shaking slightly and I could see a thin layer of sweat coating his forehead, it made me want to burst out laughing, seeing him so nervous.

He began to drone on a bout something or another, waking my mother up in the process. Apparently, I was supposed to be able to go home by the end of tomorrow. Maybe, once I got home, I could try jumping off the roof.  We live in a n apartment complex that's nearly twelve stories tall, so the fall would almost definitely kill me. I smiled slightly at the thought.

The doctor turned to me suddenly with a slightly confused look on his face, as if wondering how I, the guy who had just been brought into the hospital after an attempted suicide, could possibly be happy.

"Now we arrive to the main problem," he started, not breaking eye contact with me, "we don't want you trying to kill yourself again, but your mother has made it perfectly clear that she will not allow you to be put on suicide watch. We also can't exactly send a doctor home with you for obvious reasons, so we need to know what the plan will be to help you. There are multiple therapies available for-"

"Not necessary." My mother stared at the man, with a look that said, 'I dare you to try and put my son in therapy'. "I have already found a solution to his problem." She spit out the last word as if it was the worst curse word in existence.

The doctor gave her an expectant look, waiting for her to explain to him what this amazing suicide cure could possibly be, but she just walked out the door. The doctor looked shocked at her actions, and he turned in an attempt to stop her. I chuckled lowly, knowing that there would be no stopping my mother, once she had a plan, it was impossible to stop her.

His eyes snapped to mine, an odd look of sympathy in them. I hated sympathy, even if I might deserve it, which I don't. I didn't need other peoples opinions on wether or not I deserve to die. I know I do, even if nobody wants to admit it, I know that deep inside, they would be happier without me. It may seem awful and morbid to say, but I don't feel upset at it. I don't like myself either.

My mother burst through the door and all but ripped the IV out of my arm. The doctor had a look of pure panic etched into his features as he reached towards my mother slowly, in some sort of half-assed attempt to stop her. I knew it was hopeless though, she yanked me out of the bed, dragging me through the hospital as doctors and nurses chased after us. I was thrown into our car, a minivan from an unknown car brand, and immediately sped off, she had to have been going at least 60, which was 25 over the speed limit.

I sat quietly in the backseat, waiting for a lecture. Luckily, my mother was not a patient person, so I did not have to wait long. "What the hell were you thinking Daniel!" I just love the tone of pure love she had in her voice as she shrieked out nonsense for the next ten or so minutes. Please- note my sarcasm. I zoned out of her screaming after about five seconds, staring out the windshield so as to not give away how distracted I was. "Look, Danny, you can't just try to kill yourself whenever shit gets tough. You have to be a man, what girl is ever going to want to marry a suicidal bitch like you?" Well, since I'm gay, I'm hoping no girl. "I just don't know what to do with you anymore. Actually I do. There is an institution in Kansas that I want to send you to. It's in the countryside, so it will be nice and quiet, and all of the Teo doctors that run the place are very qualified. I think it's the best choice for you."

I sat shell-shocked, staring out of the windshield. "Institution?" The words came out far quieter than I intended, but my mother still heard. She nodded without hesitation before turning the radio up to full volume in an attempt to drown out any questions that I might ask.

I fell asleep on the way home, wondering what I could possibly do to get out of this situation. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of any solutions.

Fuck!

***

Ok, I think that went ok. Criticism is appreciated, I'm not sure when the next update will come, have a great day though.

Q: What is your favorite color

(Mine is purple probably)