Temporary Fix

CHAPTER NINE

RONNIE

I skipped my classes today.

I asked myself what would I rather do: sit in hour long lectures for a degree I wouldn't be able to obtain or dance?

Self said dance.

The dance studio was empty. Thank god. Although, when I first started dancing I was shy, afterwards it was just the beat and me. I was in my element, my fluid movements was an instinct, ballet and I became one. It was the only time that I had ever felt whole. The only time that I had ever felt at peace and that nothing could get to me. I didn't think about my family or school, I just moved. It was a beautiful thing that I was grateful to experience. I only wished I could get out of my body and witness it from others eyes. To see me, so—-at home.

I had been here for hours. I got up before classes started and we were well into the middle of the day.

Eden hadn't called. It had been a few days since the interview. It had also been a few days since I had seen Omari. Not that not seeing Omari was unusual--it was usual indeed. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there was nothing on his end either. Granted the fact I didn't give him my number, but maybe I expected him to ask Karlie for it or something. But, if he had asked Karlie she would have assumed something was up and maybe would've questioned me further on the night of my interview.

       I blew out a breathe attempting to let my thoughts of Eden, Omari, Karlie, and that night go. They didn't belong here with me in this moment. I came here for a piece of peace. Not to stand in one spot going over all my rights and wrongs.

       Although, there was a lot more wrongs than rights indeed.

       I leaned over to grab the small remote that was laying next to my bag. My thumb pressed into the play button and soft melodic music immediately began playing. I put the remote back and backed into the center of the room.

       Deep breathes. Straight back.

       When I danced I attempted to turn into a note. To not just dance to a song, but to literally fall into. It was something that my Aunt Vee had noticed before I did. She always said that I sung a song through my movements, dance was too simple of a word to describe my gift.

       A gift.

       Thats what Aunt Vee used to call me. I never used that word really--gifted. I didn't know what to do with it and it surely didn't feel like it belonged with me. I was a clumsy girl with rhythm, I didn't even make sense. But, at this moment I didn't care about making sense. Music and dance was about emotions, not logic, sure it had rules and techniques, but without emotion art is nothing.

       My arms eased their way into the air until my hands joined together above my head, then in one swift I brought my arms over my face and then down to my torso. As my arms moved so did my head. The song had sped up slightly making me rise on my toes to spin just a few times.

       My legs carried my body to the left and then to the right in sway. My right leg kicked high in the air, my right hand catching it and pulling it to the left side of my body.

       I could feel myself slipping away as the seconds passed by. I could feel the weight on my back lifting. It was as if I didn't know anyone, I didn't know that I was a college student who was on the brink of dropping out. I didn't know I didn't have any family left or the one friend that I did have could never fully understand me. I didn't know the boy who I had thought about every single day since our casual encounter.