confused Destiny

The weird voice... kailani

     After that day, Peter's family and my family became very close. Sometimes Peter would visit me. At first, it was a little bit uncomfortable but with time l adjusted to it. He would follow me back from school before going back to his own house.

     Maybe the revelation was for the best after  . I loved the new big bro,my weird life has given me, it was worth it, maybe the universe likes me after all, just maybe, we had been so close , that he comes to my house and spends some time.

   Fun right?, but oh well, he still hasn't said anything about wanting me as a lover, i had given him all kind of signs sn't all the signs enough for him, i smile extra hard when he says something funny, maybe he isn't noticing the extra vibe,but i still leave on hope , maybe one day he would notice.

          Hopefully, i can't do anymore than that, and soon i  would be done with highschool, i won't see him five times a week anymore, it would be cut down to ones a month, or twice, he might not acknowledge the fact that we were meant for each other, like the world had  ordained it to be.

        Oh well

  Hours turn into days and days into weeks , and it was finally time for my graduation, and few hours to being officially 16, my prime age, i should be happy, i know i should but deep down , i feel something was going to be wrong, somehow

     I had spent the night fantasizing about Jamal coming to party with me, with a ring in his hands, saying the magical word, rethabile david, would you be my woman, it would be so nice!, maybe i being too dramatic, just maybe, but at least he should be romantic.

     I had spent the whole night thinking of how I would smile like a queen, and then I had forgotten sleep also makes a good queen. I had the looks of a war frog when I woke up , but being a student and a celebrant I had responsibilities I was reluctant to perform.

   Mom was more happy than I would ever  be having her third child pass out of highschool, i know in other countries, it goes with prom and all fabulous things, but mine out here comes with a hyped mom, some nagging relatives ,and a lot of advice and teases.
'  
   Sweet to some extent, but , i had other girl issues i needed to attend to, being in the first roll in an occasion is good, for a good view, but seeing a crush, with other girls were like drinking a bowl of sour cream, it was horrible and at the verge of barking at everyone who pisses me off, i need air i don't deserve this.

    I quietly walk out of the hall, my long garment folded in hands, and a cap on my heads, my eyes were filled with tears, i am not supposed to cry anyway, it's just a boy, i don't need him, i walk up to a stray chair as i began to reminisce on good times we spent together.'

   Maybe its just his nature, everyone likes jamal, hes cute, and smart, and i am dark skinned, with few spots,  stubborn hair, narrow hip, thin arm and everything he wasn't attracted to, i began to regret ever showing my desperate side, maybe he would value me a little if i wasn't so cheap.

   " hey reth, why are you crying" i hear a familiar tone, and i freeze, with a sudden weight in my heart, " nothing" i huffed, he hold my chin slightly, with her sad expression on his face, why should he be sad, he caused it anyway.

    " I saw you leaving, if you don't like the show we could go somewhere else," he said in a calm manner.

   I don't care, I don't want him anymore,  he should leave, besides he is this sweet  with everyone around him, not like he likes me or anything, just too jovia, " thanks" I say giving him my hands, he smirks childishly and I kick myself mentally.

      I had just assured myself i would never have anything to do with this flirt, and here i am grinning cause his hand is beneath mine, i am just a fool, maybe after this scene i will hate him, we would have nothing to do, i can't just hate him all of a sudden, but i know after this we wouldn't talk to each other again.

   " ehm, reth, i just want to use this opportunity to say something to you" he said and my heart skip a beat, what does he want to tell me, does he want to ask me out, no , he doesn't like me, does he, stop thinking about things that wouldn't  happen reth

    " ehm, happ...happy birthday" he said, and i yelled within me, i knew he wouldn't ask me out, i ' m not beautiful enough, i know that for sure, and we are siblings aren't we, no we are not, but why can't he just relieve me from this emotional pain, i am tired of having to goosebumps

        " thanks" i say rather harshly, and i know he noticed, i fake a smile as well, he deserves nothing for making my heart beat like he was going to say something, i had longed for, his silence were like lava in my heart,.

   " have a nice day jamal i am going home" i say, jerking my fingers from his palm, it felt like i had done something i shouldn't have , but waiting on him makes me sad,  and angry
  

" i like you reth" he says,

     Huh"

  I turn back to see who just altered that word, did he say he likes me , like, like likes me?, wow, i stare at Jamal, and he was frozen with brides on his forehead, a mouth slightly open and still, his hands suspended in the air, and his eyes immobile.

   "Peter "

    "Peter "

   "Peter !! he was frozen at a spot, i ran back to him, he wasn't moving, everything around me wasn't moving even the trees were still, the music in the hall were still, everything had stooped.

    " kailani your mom is dead"