You Fill My Heart

Never Gonna Be Alone

The drive home was silent. That morning's crisp layer of dew still covered the ground as a light drizzle sent tiny rain pellets onto the road. Neither one of them spoke much, only exhaled or coughed in the deafening silence. The radio was playing one obnoxious song after another, the first a song about love, the next a song about a boyfriend cheating on his girlfriend.

Switching the radio dial to a more suitable station, Amy continued the intense haze of staring out the window at all the scenery their side of California had to offer. Ricky drove in silence; reaching for her hand only to be rejected, he sighed.

It was mid-afternoon; the shop's parking lot usually was filled with cars by this time every day, and today was no different. Waiting to avoid a scene from the in-coming and going customers, Ricky led Amy through the back staircase up to their apartment. "I should probably go get some groceries before I go get John. You should lie down." He stated, shoving the pillows off the couch and yanking the bed out.

"We haven't even picked out names yet..." Amy sniffled, sitting in the pink chair facing the coffee table.

He paused, going to sit on the arm of the chair and squeezing her shoulder. "We need to take some time and... process this. You don't have to decide now; we'll give it a couple of days, okay?"

She stared at the floor, picking at her thumbnail; the tears pooling themselves around her eyes. His lips went to her hair, kissing the top of her head, closing his eyes. She started to cry. Short, hiccupping sobs escaped through her strangled throat; letting the tears pound onto the hardwood floor.

He tightened his grip on her shoulder, wrapping his other arm around her torso and continuing to place short kisses on her head, letting his own tears hit her brown locks as she convulsed in his arms. "Shhh"

Placing a first to her mouth, she bit down hard on her right index finger. "I-" she started, "I-I can't." wiping a tear from her cheek. "I-c-can't d-do this."

"Amy..." He loosened his grip to look at her. "I know- but you heard what the doctor-"

"I know what he said." She cut him off, wiping the tip of her nose with the back of her hand. "But I can't do it" she sniffled, looking down at her shirt. "I can't, Ricky. I just can't!"

"Amy this is serious. You heard what he said: you have this baby, you continue with this pregnancy, you could die!"

"I know... but..."

"I know this is hard... but Ames, we need to think of John in all of this... Let's just take a few days to plan things out and then we can go to the doctor-"

"For an abortion!" Amy retorted bitterly

"That's not what Dr. Davis called it." Ricky defended, shoving a hand into his pocket.

"Well that's what it is!" she cried, "If you're going to talk about it, you might as well call it for what it really is!"

"Amy...we could start over, plan for another one-"

"He gave us another option, Ricky! He said I could go on bed rest! But you want me to have an abortion! You want me to kill our baby!"

"You heard what he said. Even if you were to go on bed rest, it changes nothing. Something could still happen to you. You could still go into premature labor or bleed out – we could lose the baby anyway!"

"Could- key word is could. Could doesn't mean will. This baby still has a fighting chance as long as I do my part, and you want to rip that chance away!" She threw her hands in the air, "You know what... no. I'm not having an abortion. Whatever happens will happen. But I'm not going to be the monster who murders our unborn child. I'm not."