~Chapter one~ What does hate really mean?

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[tw: mentions of eating disorder, self harm and drugs]

Regulus Black. The brother who cowered
behind closed doors, all while his sibling -Sirius black- escaped the shackles to be free.

Regulus was a small, curious boy. Was. He was. That W A S the past. We are now in the future.

The future is new.

But let's go back to was for this story. Was was a happier time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day started, only to end just as quick. Regulus was used to this. His routine had consisted of: waking up, staying in his dorm (skipping breakfast) until first period, attending his first period, going to his second lesson of the day, skipping his third hour to smoke weed (and do all the stuff teenagers did back then), skip lunch (he wasn't very fond of eating), sit in his dorm for the hour and a half lunch period -cutting his skin to the bone-, attend his last few lessons, skip the detention he got everyday for skipping lesson three, sit in his dorm (skipping dinner) and finally, lying in his four poster bed crying until his skin was red and raw.

That was his daily.

But everything changed.

Regulus was doing what he usually did while skipping divination, going into the bathroom to smoke alone without distraction, but, to his disappointment, four boys were inside, making a racket.

He peaked his head around the door frame, seeing one boy with long hair (Sirius, his brother) Regulus rolled his eyes at just the sight of him. A second boy with blonde hair, he recognised him as Peter Pettigrew. Sitting on a bench, observing the mess of students in a fit of hysterics, was a tall, scruffy boy with fresh scars on his face and arms -Regulus wondered if he was like him.

And, amongst the wreck of stupid school boys, a boy everyone in Hogwarts knew as James Potter. Regulus watched as Sirius and Peter reached up for his gorgeous circle framed glasses, trying to take them. He dogged their grasps with ease.

His face was enough to make regulus melt, let alone his figure. He had on a shirt (of which two buttons had been undone), a tie (though it was falling off) and a pair of black trousers.

As he stared at the boy, he completely lost track of all time. His eyes, his glasses, his hair, his ears, his neck, his hands. Everything James had made Regulus want to kill him. Because he wanted all that to be his. He wanted to wrap his arms around his waist and be able to call James his.

But he couldn't, because Sirius met him first.

His gaze was broken by a pair of green eyes. He whipped his head so quickly around the door frame, he was sure he would get whiplash.

He heard footsteps. Four pairs of footsteps. If he ran he would get into trouble, so he waited for them.

"Regulus?" He Heard the familiar voice of his brother, Sirius.

"We know your there." His voice said.

Regulus sighed and stepped out from behind the door. "Hi." He said awkwardly, immediately regretting it after.

"Hey." James smirked, he didn't try to hide the fact that he was trying not to laugh. "What are you doing?" He questioned.

Regulus took a second to answer, his eyes darted to James's.

Snapping out of the trance he was in, he opened his mouth to answer, although, not completely knowing what he was going to say.

"Skipping divi- no uh- I'm just- I shouldn't be here." He turned around just to be laughed at by 3 people.

A hand gripped his shoulder. He turned.

James stood there. "Look, it's ok if you want to skip lesson," he looked like he was going to say something meaningful, "Oh and," reaching his hand into Regulus's pocket, Regulus held his breath, "thank you." He held up the bag of weed Regulus normally stored in his trouser pocket.

Turning on his heel, now laughing with the rest of the boys, James strutted away.

Regulus hated him. He hated him for taking his weed. He hated him for being Sirius's best friend. He hated everything about him.

But he loved that he hated him.

[edited 29/11/22]

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