I spend the rest of the day in the training room. Eric was right. I was strong. Stronger than that bastard anyway. At dinner, Uriah and the others ask how I have been, questioning the bruises. I tell them that no one came and that I spent the day training. At least only one of those things was a lie.
I head to bed after dinner, exhausted from the day, from everything and fall asleep as soon as I hit the mattress. Of course, my mind doesn't allow me a full nights rest and after waking up for the third time at 4:30 in the morning, I give up, shower and change, picking at my breakfast.
Eric said to imagine the worst and double it. It has to do with our emotional and mental state. That doesn't help me a whole lot. I know what I am afraid of if that is what they want to know.
At 5 there was still no one around, so I decide to once again train some more. But because I just showered I chose the knives, one of which I am still wearing every day in my boot.
My throws are good, but not strong enough yet. I needed more muscles still, stronger arms and a stronger core. But I hit it. By 6 am I am bored and look through the hallways once more, going deeper and deeper through the stone maze, once again into a dead end. But there is a huge door at the end. Curious, I push it open and find...books. Loads and loads of books on shelves that reach the ceiling. I smile and wander further inside. Little women, The Great Gatsby, Crescent City, Iliad, City of Bones.
Old books, very old books. Books from before the war. Books with ideals of freedom and heroism.
That Dauntless houses all these books surprises me, but then again, they couldn't be any safer. I doubt that many of the Dauntless like to read and no one would dare try to burn them here.
There are no names on it and I don't think anybody would miss one, so I grab The Great Gatsby and return, after some wrong turns, to the great hall. But it's still not even seven. So I grab a croissant and start the book.
"Where did you get that?"
"Stole it, obviously", I say, rolling my eyes.
"Tessa", my brother scolds.
"From the library, Tobes, you guys have one."
"How are you? After, you know, everything?"
"Fine. Was nothing new."
"I wish I could have..."
"I know. But Eric said he'd make sure that Markus will never set foot here again. He won't be able to surprise us. We won't ever see him when we are not prepared."
"Still Eric?"
"Still Eric, better get used to it", I state.
"So you two are what...a couple now?"
"Are you going to judgy the entire time?"
"Are you going to ignore the fact that he kills people?"
"Are you going to ignore the fact that you said we'd not talk about that again?"
"Alright. I have training to prepare. Don't eat too much."
I stick my tongue out at him.
The waiting room is filled with anxiety after first initiate returns, face white as chalk and shaking. It takes hours. My friends and I resort to playing cards. Marlene is the first of us to go, then Uriah, Sammy and Lynn. I wait alone, my fingers tapping against the armrest, Edward shooting me an exasperated look.
"Would you stop that?"
"Oh don't listen to him, he is just as nervous as anybody else", Christina says and Tris nods.
"You're gonna be fine."
"Tell that to the others", I say.
"Tessa", Eric calls out, while a shaking Drew leaves the room. Drew.
"Alrighty, see you guys on the other side."
The room is almost identical to the testing room.
"Oh hell no", I mumble.
"Hell yes. Sit down", Eric commands.
"So you'll inject me with some shit and I'll hallucinate weird stuff again?", I ask.
"It activates the part of your brain that responds to fear, neurotransmitters will send the pictures you see onto the screen and I can judge your reaction. For now you only need to calm down, slow your heart rate, control your breathing. A normal person has about ten to fifteen fears, though it varies."
"You'll see my fears?"
"Yes. You'll be okay. You're a badass and I will be here at all times."
I take a deep breath and sit down on the chair.
"Alright."
Eric carefully brushes my hair away and sets the needle to my skin.
"Be brave."
YOU ARE READING
Spitfire - Eric Coulter
Fanfiction"Four like the number?" "No like the letter." "Haven't I told you to shut your damn mouth, Stiff?" "You did. And I told you that my name is Tessa." "Have you enjoyed my misery enough yet?", "Well, I believed you'd pass out after four laps, so...no."...
