Spitfire - Eric Coulter

Chapter XXIX

Something is bothering Eric, even when cooking together at his apartment something is on his mind and no amount of teasing and flirting seems to better his mood.

He doesn't eat properly, me devouring the other half of his pasta in the end.

As evening turns to night I get ready to leave, but he stops me.

"Stay with me."

"I...if you want?"

"I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't, would I?", he grumbles rolling his eyes.

"Well, you'll have to give up another T-Shirt then."

"Of course, I will."

I once again enjoy the warm shower and different hair conditioners immensely, cuddling into the black satin sheets afterward, beginning to braid my hair.

Eric was in the shower after me, joining me in bed soon after. Without words, he stops my hands, takes the second braid, and finishes it quicker than I could have.

"Hidden talents I see", I muse, yet once again I am only met with that forced smile that hides worry and guilt.

Instead of saying another word he presses a kiss on my forehead, pulls me down with him and pulls me close, his head cuddling into the crook of my neck where I feel him take a long inhale.

"I am here, no matter what", I mumble, threading my hand through his hair, massaging his scalp softly. I hear him sigh and am once again reminded that he is not much older than me, that he too is just barely an adult.

It is the middle of the night, the moon high in the sky when I wake up from Eris' constant movement and his groans and mumbling.

I sit up slowly, seeing that I had scooted over to the edge of the enormous bed and Eric is tossing and turning on the other half. He is sweating too. Mumbling something that sounds a lot like No, please, no, not her.

I ponder over my options. Staying, watching, hoping he will wake up or waking him up myself. Another five minutes pass and he doesn't seem to get better, rather it gets worse, his mumbling louder now.

"Eric", I say, softly placing my hand on his shoulder, repeating his name again, a bit louder. It seems to help a little. I start to shake him lightly and his eyes shoot open. There is panic written all over his face. And to my big dismay, there is no recognition. Instead, there is a hand wrapped around my throat, my back pressed into the mattress.

"Eric...Eric, it's okay. Everyone is safe."

The grip tightens.

"Eric it's me, Tessa. Eric..."

I place my hand over his, digging my nails into his hand.

"You're...safe, we are...", I croak, his eyes flicker, the grip loosens. I bring my knee up, flipping us over.

"You're back?", I question. Eric blinks and I climb off him.

"Tessa?"

"Yes."

"I...you should probably go...", he mumbles.

"What? No. No, we are going to talk about this."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Too bad, Eric. We are going to talk about this. This is something that needs talking about. And just because you are not used to that doesn't mean that you can get around it."

I walk out of the bedroom, into the kitchen and prepare myself a hot chocolate. Sitting down at the counter, waiting for Eric. It takes him ten minutes to emerge from the bedroom. Another five to start talking.

"I...Sometimes I dream...", he starts, stopping again.

"I get nightmares too. But I don't strangle people after. You were scared. Why?", I question softly, my hand on his.

He swallows harshly.

"You are not alone in this. I am here for you. No matter what."

"There is something coming", Eric says, "something I cannot stop, that I cannot control."

"Does it have to do with Jeanine Matthews?"

His eyes snap up to meet mine.

"How?"

"I saw you together with her and Max."

"Yes. And It will hurt many people, and I can't tell you what it is, I can't..."

My hand moves to his face instead, thumb brushing along his cheek.

"I...I can't protect you, I can't protect anyone. I..."

"That's why. That is why you trained us the way you did, because you want us...need us, to be able to protect ourselves."

"It doesn't matter, nothing I did matters. You're not safe, no one is safe and I can't tell you more", he whispers, hands moving to my neck, softly, carefully caressing the bruising skin.

"We will get through this."

"No. And no one can know, do you understand?"

"Yes, of course. Do you want to go back to bed?"

Eric simply picks me up and settles me back into bed, my head in his lap, his hand softly massaging my scalp. But sleep does not find me until hours later.

When I wake up Eric is gone, a small breakfast on the counter and I am left alone with my thoughts. Eric's confession last night is worrisome. Him being scared. And Janine had something to do with it. What on Earth would she want? What does Dauntless have to do with it? And why would Eric be involved if he so clearly doesn't want to be? Many questions and no answers. But I would find them. After I visit my brother. After I put on a turtleneck shirt.