Sunshine On Earth

Chapter Eleven

"It's okay. You're okay. You're home," a voice calms me as I wake up screaming. It must have been a nightmare or something. I don't get to see who it is before I start puking up blood. It was disgusting, but I feel better now. A hand pats me on my back, still comforting me. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, then turn to see who it is.

"Blake?" I ask, confused to why it is him here with me. "How long was I out?"

He looks down for a second, a small smile creeping its way onto his face. He doesn't answer the question, but pulls me into a hug.

"Come on, you're scaring me now." My voice is still kind of scratchy.

"Blade, you were practically dead to the world. You were out for over a day."

My mouth hangs open. I was asleep for over a full day? How is that even possible?

Bellamy starts explaining everything that I missed: how they blew up the bridge, and how everyone got sick, including him.

"It was my fault." Bellamy opens his mouth to argue, but I stop him. "It was. When I was there, Nyko – a Grounder there, he gave me this vial to drink. I thought it was medicine since he gave me some beforehand. But it wasn't, I know that now."

"Blade," Bellamy starts, "what happened?" My bottom lip trembles for a second. Bellamy hands me some water that I quickly finish. The cool liquid soothes my throat, it was so dry before.

"They, uh, well, I wasn't answering their questions, being the stubborn person I am." I let out a shaky laugh. My hand travels over to the bandaged burn mark. Bellamy looks sadly over at me. "You'd never guess what they made me do..."

"They didn't-" Bellamy asks, anger written in his voice.

"No, no, no. Nothing like that. They uh, they made me fight. And the thing that scared me most was the fact that I enjoyed it. I liked to fight against them. Hell, I could have killed them. And it scares me, that I wouldn't even feel guilty. Because I don't feel guilty for killing that man all those years ago: he deserved it."

I rub the corners of my eyes to stop the oncoming tears. Bellamy swings an arm over my shoulder, and pulls me into his side. I wrap my arms around his torso; it makes me feel safe.

"It's okay to cry," Bellamy whispers, as he brushes my hair with his fingers. I hadn't even noticed they weren't in the braids anymore. 

I shake my head and wipe my eyes. "Crying is a weakness."

"If you look at it that way," Bellamy shrugs, pulling me closer towards him. "Or it shows that even if you've cracked, you're not broken,"

Somehow, that little statement pulled me over the edge, and I started crying.

Crying for my mom; for those we lost; for the war we started; for my friends; for me.

"You're gonna be okay." His lips lightly brushed against my forehead, the small gesture making me smile.

"I don't hate you, you know," I whisper as the tears finally stop.

"I know, Sunshine, I know."

I stay cuddled into his side, my legs over top of his. As I lay my head down on his shoulder, he leans his against mine.

"Should I come back later or...?" Jasper grins.

"JJ!" I squeal, jumping into his open arms. "How are you?"

"Me? You've been the one MIA for the past three days," Jasper jokes. I pull away from the hug. "Raven has been dying to see you by the way."

My head pops up, and I go to make my way out of the drop ship. I hadn't even thought about anyone else.