Chapter 1

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Why is it, when I think I'm starting to get my life back together it throws me yet another curve ball. I'm standing out the front of the Savoy Hotel whilst my nieces birthday party is going on inside. I've just what I think is the worst news I could possibly receive and it just happens to be on April fools day.

Flashback to the morning

I wake up to my phone ringing, after a sigh I get up to try and find my phone within my duvet. I find my phone and look at the caller, It's my mum, thinking its strange as she never calls, I'm always the one to call her if anything. I answered and she said "Hi love, I've just had Peter on the phone and he said that your Auntie Hazel is in hospital and it's not looking too good. I'm just packing up a few bits and then I'm leaving to go to Liverpool" hearing that I was teary eyed and choked up a bit. I tried to ask what was wrong but the words wouldn't leave my mouth. The next thing I hear is "I'm sorry, I know she means a lot to you, I thought you would want to know so that you can try and get there." The only word that I could say was "okay". My mum talks a bit more but I don't hear anything and zone out, I come back to earth when I hear my name being shouted through the phone a few times. "ye, I'm here" I say with no emotion, already feeling myself closing off. My mum ends the call after saying she was going to call my sister and let her know to check on me as we are currently living together after another shit show but that's another story for another time.

Back to present day

"I'm sorry love, she's gone" that's all I hear before I drop my phone out of my hand falling from my ear. Eyes blurry, not being able to see anything with the tears that a now free flowing from my eyes. I sunk to the ground balling my eyes out completely forgetting where I am and what is 'expected' of me. You see my sister is quite a well-known solicitor (lawyer) that deals with a lot of high profile people and I have to follow certain rules while living with her so that it doesn't affect her in any way.

After pulling myself together a bit I pick my now smashed phone up from the floor and go back inside and go to the bathroom where I splash some water onto my face.

Whilst looking into the mirror at myself my sister Dana walks in, when her eyes fall to my face her breath stalls and she asks what happened. "she's gone" is all I can say as I fall into her arms. She comforts me for a few minutes before telling me to get myself composed at they would be doing the cake soon for my niece. Although not in any sort of mood to be surrounded by the high fliers of London or their bratty kids I get out into the room for my niece and only my niece. I plaster a smile on my face and wait a few minutes for the cake to be brought out and we all sing happy birthday to her. It's her 7th birthday and her friends and some of the adults join in with the cheers while I quietly make my way to the corner of the room to sit and reflect. I'm stuck in my own head for I don't know how long when a strangely familiar voice brings me back to earth "Hey... Are you ok? Because no offence, you look like poop".

I splutter out a laugh without looking up and say "who says poop" "well when there are this many children around and me being me, I can't be too careful". After I wipe my face with the back of my hand I look up and see a beautiful woman, she looks familiar but can't place where from. Taking her all in thinking to myself how does this woman look so effortlessly beautiful. Sitting across from me in some jeans, top and a pair of converse. Her blonde hair flowing just past her shoulders in loose curls and oh my god her eyes, it's like a curtain of black lashes covering the ocean of green eyes, the look in her eyes scream worry and then I remember to reply to her question wondering briefly how long id been staring at her. "I'm fine, thank you" I tell the woman.

"fine is a word people use to deflect people"

"did it work?" she laughs and shakes her head, I smile but then internally cringe and look away feeling guilty. I can't do happy right now and the guilt and grief hits me again, breathing started to get harder, I stood up knocking the chair over apologising to the woman before heading out of the room and going outside, I pick up my jacket on the way out and get my sunglasses out and putting them on and sat on the steps to the side of the entrance before getting the box of cigarettes out of my pocket along with a lighter. I go to put one in my mouth and go to light it but the woman from before pulled it out of my mouth before I go to ask her why she would do that but she cuts me off and comes out with "that's not good for you"

"listen I don't mean to be rude but please just leave me alone right now, I just need to calm down" I just continued to sit there with my head in my shaking hands tears streaming down my face trying my hardest to get control of myself and not let the threatening sobs out. I was still aware that the woman was still next to me and after 5 minutes I managed to compose myself. I turned to her "why are you still here?"

"Everyone needs someone, it doesn't matter if I don't know you or you don't know me, I'm here and you knew that you weren't alone."

"Well thanks I guess, I better get inside again"

"Do you really think that's wise?"

"I don't really have a choice, It's my nieces birthday" she got up off the steps and looked at me and asked "does that make you Dana's sister?"

"Yup" and she nods in reply before we both make our way inside, getting to the door I brush the back of my pants off from sitting down and then made it inside in time to see my niece attempting to beat a piñata. I made my way over to my sister and asked to use one of her cars so I could leave for Liverpool to which she agreed to under one condition "you need to get a new phone so I can call and check on you during and after your journey."

"That's cool, I'll get one now on my way home, I've got the sim so will be on the same number, thank you, I love you, see you soon." With that I hugged her and started to make my way to my niece to wish her a good day and told her I would see her soon and that I loved her. She wasn't that bothered as she was around all of her friends but gave me a hug none the less.

After saying my goodbyes I felt someone's eyes on me but I didn't look to see where or who it was coming from. I made my way to the nearest phone shop and got a replacement galaxy, I just can't deal with apple, and then got a taxi to my sisters and packed a few bits before heading and choosing a car. Knowing I was going back to Liverpool I went for one of the lowest value cars that my sister has which ended up being her baby blue BMW M4. I do love my motorbike but I don't have that level of concentration right now.

I got in the car and got my phone plugged in and found Peter's number. I called him and whilst it was ringing started the journey. Peter answered and greeted me I reciprocated, "is she still in the room, I'm on my way" I ask being hopeful. Peter said "she is, your mum asked that she stay there until she got here". I thanked him and said that I was also on my way and would be a few hours. "Ok I'm going to go home and find all of the documents she gave me in case of this happening" unfortunately it was never a case of if, but when. She had a complex health history and needed a kidney transplant but because of her other medical issues they were not willing to 'waste' one. I thanked Peter and said I would let him know when I was 20 minutes away from the hospital before hanging up.

I started getting lots of notifications through but didn't bother about them. The people who I mean the most to would call if they needed anything. I put my music on and tried to concentrate on the road as much as possible but the next thing I know I managed to zone out and I'm arriving at the hospital. I checked my phone and saw that I already messaged Peter so I waited in the car for his call to say that he was there.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        

So my way with words is far from the best but when I read other stories I get ideas so thought I'd give it a go. Bare with me though I'm dyslexic and have ADHD so get easily distracted.

if anyone wants something specific in the story let me know :)

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