Glass half full

Chapter 7

So after an hour of going through Hazels Will and other paperwork I manage to call the funeral directors and organise for them to collect her body and arrange for her funeral to be held in 2 days' time. As I was on the phone I sent Jodie to look around the house for the items listed in the will and she was very surprised when one of Hazels rings had been left to her. "She knew you liked that one, you always commented on it, it actually used to be my Nans so hide it from Nicola, we don't want to cause drama" she laughed and her eyes sparkled as she looked at the ring before putting it in her pocket and getting back to finding the other bits.

Peter walked into the room after I spoke with the funeral director and I told him the plans for the funeral, he agreed to let everyone know and also reminded me to tell Dana as soon as possible so she could make arrangements and attend the funeral which would hopefully keep Nicola busy and away from me!

After messaging Dana the details for the funeral I get stuck in to helping with the house. I put all of the bags of food into the car ready for donating and then start going through the photo albums of which there are at least a hundred, I soon realised that she had inherited some from my Nan and most had captions. I messaged all the family members that I thought may want some of the pictures and also told them that if they wanted something from the house it would be open tomorrow. I had various replies of thank you and ok.

Once the majority of things were cleaned and rubbish loaded up in cars for the tip we all left, me and Jodie went to the foodbank, she was slightly mobbed and pictures taken of her donating, they thanked her profusely and she signed lots of things for them before we managed to get away. Once we got back into the car I let out a shaky breath and I felt like the grief was hitting me once again. I felt like I had been too busy to grieve today being so busy organising things, I needed space but at the same time I didn't want to be alone, I knew exactly where I wanted to go and soon as I heard Jodie buckle her seatbelt I started driving. I could sense her looking at me but I didn't want to talk just yet so just kept driving. Once we made it onto a certain road she grabbed my arm and started caressing it. She knew where I was heading and that I would talk eventually, she just wanted to remind me that she was there for me.

When I park up we just sat there for a minute looking at the view, it is beautiful as it can be in Liverpool and it's the place I miss the most having moved away.

(Crosby beach, taken by me)

I felt Jodie squeeze my arm slightly reminding me that she's there, I looked at her and smiled before getting out the car, she also got out and once I had locked the car I took her hand in mine and we started to walk down to the beach. After walking all the way to the water I began talking "this was one of the last places me and hazel went together, I had picked her up and we went and loaded the horses, she always liked watching me carriage driving but had never been on it so I arranged it all. When we got here she looked so happy we went up and down the beach so many times. We were laughing and joking and every time I looked at her she was smiling. When I asked her why she was smiling so much she said it had been a while since she had seen me so happy and it made her happy. I remember telling her that the only reason I was smiling so much was because she was and we both burst out laughing" I hadn't realised how much I was actually crying until it was difficult to breathe. "She was everything to me, she was like my mother, she gave me everything but nothing at the same time. I don't even know what I'm saying now. AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!" I felt like I needed that with no one else around, Jodie just smiled at me and then leaned against me for a hug. She held me as we watched the sun set and stayed silent knowing I needed this moment.

As the sunset finishes she looks up to me and wipes the remainder of my fallen tears, "come on, let's get back to the car, we don't have to leave yet but were quite far out" she said. I nod and let her pull me by my hand towards the top of the beach.

After getting to the car she looked at me in question as I still haven't said anything, "let's go I'm starving, I need a proper munch" and I gave her a big cheesy grin and she laughed before detaching herself from me and getting in the car taking her phone out. By the time I get in the car she's talking on the phone about food and it makes my belly growl which she laughs at and continues her conversation. After a minute she tells me to make my way to her parents' house. She put some crap music on and we have a funny argument about music taste and before we know it we arrive.

I noticed a new car on the drive and when she unlocks the door it's not only Bobbie that's knocking me over its her brother Charlie, I let out a grunt of displeasure as we all topple to the floor with me on the bottom of the pile. "OMG Y/N!!! Charlie get off of her. Y/N are you ok?" is the next thing I hear but I was surprised that it was Donna and not Jodie, no Jodie was nearly wetting herself laughing leant up against the house. As I manage to get up Charlie apologised and gave me a bro hug before I made my way over to Jodie. "It's good to see my pain is hysterical to you" I cock an eyebrow at her as she continues to laugh tears coming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry but your face was something else" she manages to get out. I lead her into the house and again Donna asked if I was ok and I felt bad because I forgot to answer her earlier. "I'm alright thank you, it's nice to know SOMEONE cares" I said looking at Jodie which made Donna shake her head laughing. "Right well dinner is almost ready so go and get washed up everyone. 

Sorry its late, I work 75+ hours a week and its been a bit hectic this week.  I usually get a chance in work to write but nooo not this week.