A Prairie Rose

Chapter 10

Mrs. Hansen kept her hand resting on me for a good while. I was embarrassed when she reached to untie my pantaloons, pulling them down my legs and leaving me bare. But I knew she was trying to save me more trouble- Pa had told me to take them off, after all. 

But that didn't stop me from being embarrassed, knowing everyone in the room could see the bright red shade to my skin. Maybe even purple and black- I was too frightened to look. But Mrs. Hansen was gentle with me, washing my face with a cool cloth before reaching for the nightgown that I had left on my bed. She guided my head and arms through each hole, and did up the front-string for me. 

Despite her kindness, I was still sniveling and choking on cries as she guided me into bed, graciously only pulling the blanket up to the middle of my legs- even the quilts would have hurt against my backside. 

I kept my face hidden as I heard her quietly washing her daughters, helping them out of their clothes and into their nightgowns. How awful I felt- for her, for me. For her to be paying to stay in such a place. For me to have to show these total strangers the shame I had to live with. 

"You won't both fit into that bed," I heard Mrs. Hansen say quietly. "Grace is too big to share. You go on and get in with Rose, Hattie."

Luckily, I was already as close to the wall as possible, trying to take comfort in the protective firmness of it. It made it possible for Hattie to slide in next to me without me having to move- her Mama told her not to pull the quilt up over me, and that she could use her own from her chest. I felt the slight gush of wind as her mother brought it over Hattie.

I listened as Mrs. Hansen told Grace that it was her turn to say prayers that night. And I listened as Grace did so, reciting a prayer that must have been said nightly. Then as Mrs. Hansen said another quick, quiet prayer, asking for safety and food and comfort, and asking God to bless Grace and Hattie- and me. She said my name, too. 

I didn't have the energy to tell her that God seemed to do everything but bless me. 

She leaned over to kiss Hattie, then leaned even further to lay a kiss to my own head, too. "You'll be okay, my love," She whispered to me, pushing some hair away from my face before leaving as quietly as she had entered. The canvas billowed out behind her before settling, her candlelight fading away, and leaving us in almost complete darkness. Complete silence, too, aside from my hiccups and sniffles, and I realized the rest of the house must have gone to bed.  

After listening to my quiet noises for several minutes, I felt a shift in the bed as Hattie turned over- the mattress was small, and we were almost nose-to-nose. "Are you alright?"

I didn't answer- I wasn't sure how to. Instead, I reached up to wipe tears away, just in case it wasn't quite dark enough for them to be hidden.

When I didn't answer, Hattie spoke again, her voice hardly a whisper. "It's alright. Don't be embarrassed. Our Daddy whips us, too, sometimes. He tanned our hides just this morning for bickering."

"He does not," Grace hissed across the room. 

Hattie scoffed. "Don't listen to her. She thinks she's grown, but she didn't think so this morning. You should have heard her carrying on when he was done with her."

Grace huffed, turning over in her bed, clearly trying to ignore us. "I'm grown enough to have my own bed while you have to share," She muttered haughtily. 

Hattie reached for my hand, not seeming to care that it was still wet from where my tears had leaked on to it. "Ignore her," She said, so quietly even Grace could not hear. "She doesn't think of anybody but herself. You're over here hurting, and she only cares about seeming mature. But I don't think she's acting much like an adult, do you?"

At last, I felt my lips quirk up slightly. "No."

Hattie breathed a quiet laugh from her nose. "She has been acting like that ever since she turned 14. She says that she is of marriage age. Daddy says that she won't be married off until she is at least 19, though, and she was all huffy because he said if a 14 year old can marry, she must still be a little babe to be living at home for the next five years."

We both giggled, but I stopped abruptly- the movement of my body caused the throbbing in my backside to worsen.

Hattie sobered up as soon as I did. "I'm sorry you got whipped. My daddy never does it as bad as that. Did you kill his dog or something?"

Again, I found myself smiling- now why would I have killed a dog? "No. I ruined my pantaloons."

She snorted, then shoved a hand over her mouth, seeming to realize we still had to be quiet.

"That's it?" She whispered, seeming shocked. "I muddy up my clothes all the time. Mama hardly even takes the brush to me over it anymore, she just makes me clean and mend them myself. But she helps me, usually. She says I'm too little to do it right on my own yet, but one day I'll see how much hard work it is, and learn my lesson."

I sniffled one last time. "You said your sister is 14. How old are you?"

"I'm almost eight."

I smiled. "I'm eight, but I'll be nine soon enough."

Even in the darkness, I could see the glint of Hattie's teeth as she grinned widely. "We're almost the same age! We have to be friends. My Daddy wants to settle along that river just down the hill- will you come visit?"

Though I wanted to say yes, I hesitated. "I have to see if I'm allowed to."

Hattie went quiet- I was sure I knew why. After the display tonight, I doubted her parents would let her come over here to play. Not when Pa was around.

"Well, at school, then." She said, seeming like she was trying to be cheerful. "My Daddy says there's a school formed just a mile or so away. Me and Grace will walk there, since Mama says there will be no governesses out West yet. You and I will both go there, and we can play there."

I nodded, knowing full well that I would not be going to school. Pa had always said a girl had no use with school, and had kept me home. Ma had disagreed, but been powerless in the decision. She had done her best to teach me to cook and mend at home, but had not known how to read or write herself. 

Of course, I didn't say such things aloud. I just laid in silence beside my new and only friend, allowing her to believe that I was just as smart as she was. 

Nobody wanted to be friends with an idiot, after all. That was why Pa had none, other than his empty bottles that always seemed to keep him company.