A Prairie Rose

Chapter 23

The house was quieter than I could ever remember it being since I brought the Hansens here. There was not even the clickety-click-clacking of Mrs. Hansen's knitting needles.

Mr. Hansen was the first one to speak- and to move. He took a step away from the door, coming closer to me. "Rose?"

I took a step away from him, keeping the same distance between us. I was looking for an escape- but there wasn't one. The only way out of the house was the front door or one of the windows. The windows were too high up for me to climb out of on my own, and Mr. Hansen was planted firmly between myself and the door.

My voice was little more than a squeak. "Sir?"

His eyes were trained on me, and I felt like a prey trapped in the gaze of a predator. "Where is your Pa, Rose?"

I swallowed hard, but it did nothing at all to make my voice come out any clearer. "I- I told you, he... he went on a trip to uh... make investments."

Mr. Hansen shook his head slowly, his brow furrowing. He took another step towards me. Then another. I continued backing away, until I hit a wall- unless I wanted to try and dart around him, there was nothing to do.

"No," He said slowly, and I could see the pieces all falling together in his mind. "No, he didn't. When we got here, you had no food. No fire wood. You don't know how to cook a real meal, even if there had been food, or wood to burn. You had no details as to where your Pa had gone, what he was investing in... nothing. He's didn't take his gun along, he's been gone far longer than he should have been to make investments in any direction, and now we come to find that the horses were being kept in stables nearby this entire time- and that you were the one to put them there. So I will ask you one final time, Rose- where is your Father?"

My body felt as if it were buzzing with energy, and it acted upon its own accord. Suddenly, I was moving, darting to Mr. Hansen's side and trying to pass him to get to the door. I wasn't sure where I thought I would run to, but it didn't matter- he caught me with ease, his long arms not even straining to reach me as I tried to run past him and out the door.

"Let me go!" I shrieked, bucking and thrashing about wildly. 

"Rosemary Edith, that is enough!" Mr. Hansen's voice was harsher than I was used to, frightening me a bit, but it was not enough to stop my flailing.

I slapped at his arms and kicked at his legs and scratched at his hands,, trying to reach the door. "I said let me go!"

Mr. Hansen did not heed my request- I wasn't sure if it was because it was getting too dark to allow me outside alone, or because of the wolves howling we had heard nearby the night before, or the lying about Pa and the horses or my behavior that led to it- but suddenly I was lifted into the air, his arm encircling my waist.

For a few long seconds, I was flailing and kicking into empty air as I tried to shove him away, and then I found myself over his knee as he sat on the stool- his wife had been quick to clear out of the way, and Hattie stood hiding slightly behind her sister, both girls staring at me with wide eyes.

A sharp smack was dealt to my backside- then another, and another, until finally I stopped bucking and kicking and clawing.

"That is enough," Mr. Hansen reiterated, bring his hand down two more times. I gasped and cried out at the sting it left. "No more of this. Now you tell me where your Pa is, Rose, unless you want to feel the weight of my strap. I will not ask again, little girl, so choose your words wisely."

I laid over his lap for several moments, breathing hard. This was it- there was no way to lie my way out of it now. There was no way to stop whatever horrors were coming for me. Surely they would never choose to keep me with them now that they knew the truth- that I was an orphaned, manipulative liar, with nothing at all in the world. 

When I opened my mouth to answer- to really, honestly answer- I was shocked when nothing but a broken sob escaped me, wracking my entire body, and not stopping when I tried to gasp in my next breath. And when I tried to catch my breath and speak, my weeping only seemed to increase, until it felt like I would choke to death on my own cries.

And then I was suddenly sitting upright on Mr. Hansen's lap, no longer laying over it. He held me against his chest as I sobbed, and stayed quiet for a long time, just rocking back and forth slightly. 

"Rose?" He finally asked, having waited several minutes for my bout of tears to pass.

"He's dead," I whimpered. "I tried- I tried-"

I wasn't sure what it was I was trying to say. That I had tried to save him? That was true. That I had tried to live on my own, and almost died in my efforts? That was also true. That I had tried to be good and work hard and make them feel welcome, and do the right thing, even though I had done the very opposite? That I had tried to trick them into keeping me forever, just because I was a coward and a manipulative, evil little girl?

It was all true. 

But none of those words seemed able to reach my mouth, and I began to cry all over again. And Mr. Hansen just held me, his grip on me tight. 

"He's dead," I repeated, the words broken and gasping and near incoherent, but coming out over and over without my permission. "He's dead, he's dead, he's dead-"

The truth that I had kept secret for so long now was finally out- and I seemed unable to stop saying it. All those months of lies. All that time of simply having no time to think about how I was an orphan, first because I had been trying to survive, and then because I had company constantly about that I was trying to put on a story for.

But he was gone. Pa was really gone- just like Ma. I was really, truly an orphan, and had no idea what would become of me.

Yet, despite this, as I sat huddled on Mr. Hansen's lap- the man who had come to be like a second father to me, a man who had certainly done nothing to deserve my manipulation and dishonesty, a man who held my fate entirely in his own hands- I found that I was able to close my eyes and pretend, just for that one small moment, that everything would be okay.

Just pretend.