Boulevard Of Broken Dreams [ Wattys 2015 ]

XXXIX - "Goodbyes."

I forced my eyes shut for five minutes sharp. Maybe it was just a dream. Maybe I'd wake up by now and she's be there, patiently waiting for me.

So I opened them again. Here I was. My room, my bed. I looked to my right and froze.

She was there.

Demi was there, sitting in the corner of the bed looking at me with strange eyes. Dull.

I wanted to stand up and hug her, but it was like I had a massive invisible rock on top of me.

"Demi." I cheered. "You're here. You're not-"

"Let go Harry." she whispered. "Let go Harry."

"What?" I replied, blinking.

And that was it. She was gone.

I woke up. It was all a dream.

I checked my phone calls wishing Demi's mom name wasn't there. It wasn't.

She hadn't called me.

Demi was not dead..

I made my way into the bathroom and removed my clothes slipping slowly into the warm water. I felt cold. I adjusted the water temperature but there was a icy wind driving through my stomach and everything else seemed dull, silent.

I was about to dry myself when my phone rang.

So I wrapped a towel and answered the phone call.

"Harry." Kris spoke in a stern voice.

"Hey. How's D-"

"Harry, we need to let her die."

"What?" I asked confused. "What do you mean?"

"There's too much pain. The pain killers aren't enough."

"Give her new ones!"

"For the sake of.. Harry! Don't be so selfish!"

"I'm not selfish!" I yelled.

"Then let her die."

"What do you suppose.." I asked when it hit me."No, no. Kris we're not killing her!"

"We're saving her. And no, who mentioned killing??"

"Are you nuts? What kind of conversation is this."

"It's the conversation where you and me save the person we love the most, damn."

"But she needs to live." I whispered, forcing myself not to crack.

"In pain? Unconscious?" she said and I knew we was crying. "Harry, she's gonna die. Soon or later."

"She must be saved. We're gonna find the way."

"This is the way." she gulped. "If you don't want to, I'm not forcing you. I'll do it by myself."

"Fuck... Kris wait." I pulled my hair. "I am coming over."

I quickly dressed up and reached her house in my car..

I went in with no permission and ran to the second floor at her room. As I intered I saw Demi plastered on the floor.

Her skin so pale and black rings under her eyes.

She looked dead.

I wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could even though she didn't react to anything. I felt her shiver against me in fear and pain.

"Demi.." I let go.

She looked at the floor and then at me.

"Where is Harry?" she asked and my heart broke. "Harry didn't come."

"I'm here." I cried.

"It hurts. My head hurts." she ignored me touching her head. "Nurse! she called out at Kris. "My head hurts."

Kris closed her eyes looking away. It was too much.

"I'm, I... Let's just do it." I breathed.

She didn't reply and disappeared into the kitchen, showing up later with a glass of alcohol and some pills in her hands.

"Go." she demanded, pointing upstairs.

As we arrived I put Demi carefully in her bed and let Kris do the rest.

She gave her five pills and made her drink the glass of whiskey slowly.

"You're going to be fine." I whispered hugging her. "The pain will go."

I stayed like that, holding her, hearing her heartbeat and her breath.

I felt her heart slow its rhythm through her chest and after a while, it stopped.

A huge pain crashed in me and I hugged her tighter.

There were tears in my eyes and I couldn't stop crying. Kris tried pulling me away but I couldn't/ I was glued to her dead body. To her. I watched as she grew colder by the minute and as much as I tried to warm up, it wasn't working. And she was slightly heavier every second.

Others came and pushed me away from her even though I didn't want to.

Mickey and Luke put her gently into her bed as everyone else was escaping tears.

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see myself in the mirror. I had lost a huge part of myself and I couldn't let it go.