Boulevard Of Broken Dreams [ Wattys 2015 ]

XVI - "Get a life."

I walk my bare feet over the cold wooden floor, feeling heavy with every step.

Harry stands behind me, after closing the main door harshly. I turn around to face his irritated, silent figure. He doesn't take any step further, just glares at me with a clenched jaw.

"I-"

"Shut the fuck up." he snapped and interrupted me.

Sarcasm was all over his tone and I gulped down hardly.

"So, did you have fun escaping like a dramatic ten years old girl?" he asked with a weird grin on his face. "I see you found a home. How quick was that?"

His voice was getting deeper and louder after each word.

"You don't understand." I shivered.

"Oh I do understand; you're just a little baby doll and if something happens you're gonna break; so you shove everything and everyone away to keep your ass safe. Isn't that what you are? Huh? What was yesterday's scene for? To see me acting like a fucking psycho? Begging you to open a god damn door, in my own damn house? And then, after acting like a five year old child you simply run away, cause you don't want to hurt poor Harry Styles and his feelings." he raged on every word, his british accent making everything worse. "Congratulations, ho-ho, you won! You hurt me. Do I need to get you a prize now?"

"Fucking stop." I yelled. "You really don't get this. I'm just a fuckin' poor girl with a thousand issues and you're some rich ass guy.  You barely know me and you come and tell me you love me?"

"Cause I fucking ... I fell in love with you. But I guess that's not acceptable in your miserable little world."

"Harry, come on. Did you really think this would be a happy ending story? Jesus. You and me falling in love, kissing and making up and living happily forever after? You better shove your feet into the ground 'cause you're fucking flying! This is not a fairytale, I'm not Cinderella and you're not Prince Charming. What you had was a fling to this new type of girl you met. Just, get over it. I don't- you're not, even, m-my type." You lied Demi, again.

"Oh, you didn't feel anything." he grinned, abruptly walking over to me so we were face to face. "Nothing at all, right? It was just a kiss of the moment, huh?"

"I didn't." I gulped down harshly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry then, for being a maniac!" he made a fake sad face, which dissapeard right after.  "You're just a dramatic stupid girl, who can't even make the effort to make life better. Instead, you cry over you shitty days and shove everyone who gives a damn about you away because you're not what they deserve. And then, oh my god, and then you dare asking yourself why you are alone." he yelled, tossing a black journal out of his jacket, on the bed. 

Tossing My Diary.

He read it.

"Are you a fucking liar too." he added, putting a beanie on harshly and slamming the door shut after walking away.

"And you're a fucking idiot." I yelled enough for the whole house to hear.

"Get a life. A real one." I heard him yell from downstairs.

I trying holding myself in, the emotions, the thoughts, but I ended up sobbing every piece of them.

I looked at my piece of shit diary, which Harry had read every page, every broken shatter of my heart inside them. I felt disgust, like throwing up at myself and put the black journal away.

It felt like I was naked, nakes from my deepest secrets and desires. My diary was the only thing I had only propety on, but now, it didn't matter.