Dirt, Shovels and Annoying Arch-Nemesis Roommates (Watford 6th year)

Chapter 4: Exploding Garden Beds

SIMON

I plop down in the chair in front of Baz. He doesn't even glance up, just continues to take notes on the study design. I impatiently begin to tap my fingers on the desk; I want to get this over with quickly.

Baz slowly glances up, "can I help you Snow?"

"We're working together for the assignment. Our chore is gardening."

He arches a perfect eyebrow, "I am aware."

I glare at him; he stares impassively back. "We get a dirt patch to practice spells on," I say.

"It's called a garden bed," he sneers. And he goes back to his notes.

I feel like something is about to escape me, like I'm about to pop. "I know you turned Aggie against me!" I burst out.

Annoyance flashes across Baz's face, immediately replaced with cold amusement. "You are giving me more credit than is due. Dear Agatha simply realised your shortcomings."

I lean forward into his face and stare him down, "I'll get you for this."

He rolls his eyes, "Oh, for fuck's sake Snow, grow up. I will not have you dragging down my grades for this assignment because you and your girlfriend had a lovers spat."

I frown at him, "It was more than a spat. Calling it a spat is understating it."

He waves his hand, "I don't care, just shut up."

"We're supposed to be working together," I remind him.

He glares at me, "which is going to incredibly hard, as everything that comes out of your mouth makes me want to poison you."

I sigh, this is already going worse than expected. I shove my hand out; Baz eyes it with distaste. "A truce," I say, "in the name of gardening."

He delicately takes my hand and shakes it. His hand is cold. "A truce," he replies, "for my good grades."

"No poisoning me," I shoot back, "or stealing my girlfriend."

"Ex-girlfriend," he smirks. I scowl at him, and he concedes, "but yes, I will not steal your ex-girlfriend."

He is staring down at our joined hands and I realise I have been holding on for too long. I quickly drop his and stand up, "right, let's go check out that garden bed."

BAZ

It turns out the garden bed is completely overgrown with weeds.

Snow shrugs, "we might as well start with weeding then."

I cast 'out of thin air' and Daphne's large gardening book lands in my hands. Snow looks suitably impressed.

"It is easiest to cast out of thin air on something that already exists," I inform Snow. I hand him the book, "I want to have found the most effective weeding spells by the end of the week. I will work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays; you will practice on Thursdays and Fridays. Make a note of any spell that works particularly well. We will regroup in Friday's class."

Snow just nods, looking relieved that I have taken charge.

SIMON

For the next few days Aggie is sitting with Trixie at mealtimes.

Penny follows my line of eyesight and sighs when she sees who I'm looking at. "Look Si, I miss Aggie too, but your relationship was due to end."

"Pen!" I say, scandalised and hurt.

"It's just a shame she wants to be friends with Trixie now," she ploughs on. "She must be desperate for friends."

I can hear a Trixie rant incoming – Penny has been seeing a lot of Trixie because of the roommate assignment and is whining as much about her as much as I do Baz – and so I quickly change the subject. "I blew up the dirt patch last night."

Penny whips her head to stare at me, "what!? Also, it's called a garden bed."

Sometimes Penny and Baz are uncannily similar. "Yeah." I push my hand through my hair, "Baz is gonna flip in class today."

Across the hall I catch Baz's gaze and give him a little, sarcastic wave; he sneers back at me.

Penny grins at me, "so you and Baz huh, I haven't heard you complaining about him for- hmmm, let's see... two days? Must be a record."

"He's actually been half-decent about this whole assignment thing," I admit grudgingly.

"Maybe he's not so bad after all," she says with a shit-eating grin.

"Shut up," I flick some cream at her from my scone and it lands on her forehead, "besides, he's still a vampire."

Penny swipes her thumb over her forehead and licks it off. She waggles her finger at me, "he's innocent until proven guilty Si."

BAZ

Snow is staring up at me, his eyes wide and apologetic; I might be appreciating the moment more if he wasn't such a moron.

"How the hell did you manage to blow it up?" I snarl.

Snow has the decency to look ashamed, "I spelled 'I'm rooting for you' and it worked! And then I got excited so when I tried 'may all your weeds be wildflowers' well... it exploded."

I put my head in my hands, "I already tried both those spells on Wednesday you imbecile."

He stares at me, "And how was I supposed to know that?!"

"I informed you Wednesday night after I got out of the shower."

"You take an hour in the shower! I was probably asleep already."

I sniff, "I do not take an hour."

"You do! God knows what takes you so long."

I am thoroughly relieved that I didn't feed this morning, or I would be blushing like a fool; I remember Wednesday's shower with vivid detail.

"The point is irrelevant, clearly we will just have to..." I wrinkle my nose in a display of distaste, "work together."

SIMON

Penny is reading about cleaning spells when I sit down for lunch.

"Hi Pen."

"So, clearly Baz hasn't murdered you for sabotaging his grades," she says looking pleasantly surprised.

"I didn't sabotage!" I groan, "and no, he said something even worse." I lean forward and mutter, "he wants to work together, like at the same time."

Penny lets out a cackle, "Oh no! The horror of mutual collaboration."

I glare at her, "this is serious, he wants to spend every Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening on it."

Penny raises an unimpressed eyebrow, "that seems reasonable."

"One of us will end up killing the other," I hiss. Penny doesn't seem to understand the impossibility of setting five years of antagonism aside. "He's the reason my girlfriend broke up with me and he's been trying to murder me since we were 11!"

Penny puts her fork down and gazes steadily at me, "I don't think he's ever actually wanted you dead. Also, Agatha didn't break up with you because of Baz, she broke up with you because of you."

My mouth drops open, "okay, ouch."

Penny waves her hand, "because you didn't have a spark, you didn't have any burning passion. Both you and Aggie deserve nothing less than someone who sets you on fire."

"The only person who has ever set me on fire is Baz, do you remember 4th year?" I grumble. Penny has chokes on her tea, and then peers at me with an unreadable expression. Our best friend telepathy isn't working. "What?"

She shakes the look out of her eye and smiles at me, "seriously Si, give this thing with Baz a go. You might find more than you expect."

Penny can be frustratingly cryptic.