DC x Reader

Known and New: Funny Moments

   You walked into the mission room holding Conner's hand. When you both looked up from your hushed talking, you found Red Tornado staring at you.

   "Greetings." He said. "Last night Ms. Martian and I could not help but hear that the two of you have become sexually active. You were particularly loud. However, I thought it best if I teach you about safety." He said as he pulled out a banana and a closed condom. "When two people decide to have sexual relations, it is necessary that you put on a condom."

   "Uh Red? We're both guys." You tell him.

   "I am well aware, but Kryptonian biology is still unpredictable." Red Tornado says.

   "Oh my god Conners the top." You tell him as you bury your head in your hands. "I need to get out of here before I explode." You say and then leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

   You kneed a thug in the gut then punched him across the jaw. He fell to the ground unconscious when you're knocked over. A heavy body on top of yours signaled someone was thrown at you. You look over your shoulder at the person who was thrown at you. Superboy was laying on your back temporarily dazed. When he went to get up he places a hand on your shoulder blade, not realizing you're under him. He sits up on his knees between your legs, and his hand still flat on your back. He's leant over holding his head trying to regain his composure.

   "Uh Superboy? Can I get up please?" You ask when you realize what position the two of you are in. His head snaps to look at you and he chuckles.

   "Hmm seems like a familiar position." He says suggestively, causing the blush on your cheeks to worsen. You hear a throat clear behind you, and find Kaldur standing there awkwardly.

   "Thank you for the distraction. You have Karma questioning his entire life right now." Kaldur says in an amused tone. Conner finally gets off of your back and you stand to see Karma staring at a bench.

   "Am I really straight? Am I really a villain? Who knows... What the fuck is happening to my brain right now?" Karma is talking to himself and during the last question he curls into a ball. When the team was all loading into the bio-ship Conner stops you.

   "So... Wanna get back to the cave and give that position another shot?" He asks with a mischievous smirk. You blush furiously thankful for the full faced cowl. Then you bashfully nod and hurriedly make your way onto the ship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Your back slammed into the ground and the air was knocked from your lungs. Conner straddled your hips and pinned your arms down.

   "I got you that time." Conner said with a smirk.

   "There is one way I can get out of this hold, but I don't want to hurt you." You gasped out, since you were still trying to catch your breath.

   "Oh is that your utility belt or are you happy to have me on top of you... Again." Conner said smugly.

   "The computer announced my defeat like 5 minutes ago. Can I get up?" You ask him and he gets up. You still lay there slightly dazed, and still out of breath.

   "(Y/n) are you okay?" Conner asks a little worried.

   "I think you blew my back out worse than that one time you-" You started but Conner cut you off with a shake of the head. Artemis came into your view and crossed her arms.

   "When he what? Enlighten me." She asked clearly amused about finally catching the two of you talking intimately.

   "If you must know... It was when he decided that I was a contortionist while we were havi-" You started but she waved her arms around quickly.

   "No! I was joking! Stop!" She smacks her hands over her ears. A throat clearing silenced everyone's laughter and everyone looked over to Batman.

   "Kryptonian strength... Trust me I get it." Batman says angrily and makes his way over to you. Wally comes running in at that moment.

   "Wait! We have two cases of SuperBat going on right now?" Wally jumps twice. "I gotta tell Rob!" He says then runs off again. When everyone gets in the mission room for the briefing you're still laid out on the floor.

   "Is he okay?" M'gann asks.

   "Conner blew my back out." You state with a monotone voice. It remained silent for a moment.

   "Again?" Kaldur asks with an amused tone, and your eyes narrow on your boyfriend. He shrugs innocently then looks away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   You struggle walking down the stairs in the Manor. It was the weekend and you and Conner took the weekend off. He came to the Manor and things had been heated between the two of you. You plop into the arm chair after you get a cup of coffee, and you pull out your phone. A few minutes later you watch Bruce limp his way down the stairs. He grabs himself a cup of coffee and the newspaper, and takes the armchair opposite you.

   "Clark get you good last night?" You asked. Bruce shot you a look of warning, but chuckled.

   "Seeing the state of your neck and calves tells me you're in the same boat." He laughs and you nod.

   "There is no dominating a Kryptonian. They're too strong to be the bottom." You say as you go back to checking on the team. You could hear someone trying to sneak into the lounge where you and Bruce were. When they rounded the corner you threw a bat-a-rang at their head, only to realize it was Clark. "Oh its only you. Stop trying to be sneaky, that's not your forte." Clark handed your weapon back to you and he looked at your calves then your neck.

    "I used to leave you in this condition." Clark says to Bruce.

   "Used to?" Bruce says teasingly, and pulls up the leg of his pajama pants to show bruises on his claves. Clark takes a seat on the couch and shortly after Conner joins the three of you. Dick appeared in the doorway and looked inbetween everyone.

   "I swear I'm seeing double." Dicks says with a smile. "(Y/n) you look like a young Bruce, and Conner looks like young Clark. Dude... You two look rough." Dick says then laughs as he walks out. Clark leans over to Conner and tries to whisper.

   "They do look alike." He says and you glare at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   "Do NOT use that Kryptonite on Superboy! Red Kryptonite made Superman homicidal, and green kills them. Who knows what that will do to him!" You call out to the asshole who was holding you hostage. He was holding a chunk of pink colored kryptonite. The door busted down and Superboy was standing there with the team. "Superboy it's a trap!" You call out, but the asshat threw the weapon at him. The Kryptonite seemed to combust around him, but he didn't seem effected. He shrugged and lunged for the guy. He screamed angrily when he realized his plan fell through. Dick had gathered some of the kryptonite in a container. He analyzed it and started laughing.

   "That's why it didn't do anything to you." Dick said amusedly. "You're already gay."