Changes

Chapter 4 / sick feelings

Few weeks later

(3rd persons POV)

Darren was late to the 9am meeting and everyone was waiting for him. "Do you guys know where Darren is?" Manager Ty asked looking at his Rolex. Everyone looked at each other silent until Ryan broke it. "I think he's still asleep." Ryan said putting his legs on the couch. Manager Ty sighed and stood there. "Can someone go wake him up please." He asked looking at the boys. "I'll go." Regie volunteered. He walked upstairs to Darren's and Ryan's room. He walked into the room closing the door, Darren's sound asleep body laying in the bed. "Darren?" Regie sat on the edge of the bed. "You need to wake up." Regie shook him gently. Darren opened his eyes and looked at Regie. They were blood shot and had dark bags underneath. "Are you ok??" Regie asked concerned. "Can you tell them I don't feel well, I don't feel like doing anything today." Darren pleaded. "Yeah no worries." Regie agreed walking out the room.

He walked back down stairs to all the boys and manager Ty. Their attention was on Regie as he walked up to them. "He's not feeling well." Regie said sitting down. They all looked at each other clueless. "Ok then, we going to have to film without him." Ty said putting his hands together. "The video title is twister!" He said making everyone cheer.

Later that day 3:45pm

Darren walked down stairs where everyone was hanging out. As he walked to the kitchen everyone stared then continued to their business, except Sebastian. He stared at Darren the whole time. Regie got up and walked towards Darren. "Hey you ok?" He asked putting his hand on Darren's back. "I don't even know." He replied closing the fridge.  Regie started rubbing Darren's back trying to comfort him. Sebastian stared confused. 'What am I seeing? When did they get so close.' Seb thought still staring at them.

"Well if you need to talk, I'm here." Regie reassured him. "Thanks but I don't even know what to talk about, I just don't feel me." Darren explained facing Regie. Regie sighed and slightly hugged him. Darren and Sebastian were both shocked. 'What In the-' seb thought. Sebastian got up and walked upstairs, his expression was weird.

Later at night 10:23pm

(Darren's POV)

'I can't even get out of bed' I thought to myself feeling lifeless, as if I would die in this bed. I finally decided to get up. Ryan was next to me on his phone. "Hey Darren are you ok?" He asked me worried. "Yeah just feel sick." I replied obviously lying. "Oh ok, get better then." He said unsure.

I stood up and went to Regies and Justin's room. They were both sitting on the bed. Justin was writing something in a notebook and Regie was on his phone. They noticed I was there and both looked at me. "Can I just stay here for a bit?" I asked embarrassed but desperate. "Yeah, come sit in the middle." Justin said giving a short smile. I jumped on the bed crawling to the middle. "Do you need anything?" Regie asked me. I got comfortable and thought for a few seconds. "To be honest, I just need company. I feel alone and it feels terrible, even if I have Ryan in our room I just feel more open with you." I confessed feeling numb. They both looked at each other worried about me. "It ok, we're here for you man." Justin said smiling sympathetically. I closed my eyes and covered half my face with the blanket.

Next morning 6:32am

I woke up seeing Regie sleeping but Justin wasn't in the room. I shook Regie to wake up. "What's wrong?" He asked turning around. "Where's Justin?" I asked looking around. "Oh, you fell asleep so he went to sleep with Ryan." He replied rubbing his eyes. I nodded and got up. I walked out Regies and Justin's room, walking towards me was Sebastian. I sighed not wanting confrontation at that time. "Can we talk Darren?" Seb asked with a serious tone. "I don't wanna fight right now. I'm not in the mood." I replied scratching my neck. "I don't want to fight, I just want to talk to you." Seb explained. I sighed and gave in. "Fine whatever, make it quick im tired." I said walking down stairs with him.

We both sat outside by the pool table. There was silence for a while. "Listen, I'm sorry for saying those things and taking my anger out on you." He said with his voice breaking. I looked at him, he looked like he was about to cry. "I'm just going through shit but that doesn't excuse my behaviours, so I'm sorry Darren." He said turning his head away from me. "What happened?" I asked feeling lifeless. He wiped his face as if he was crying and turned back to me. "I found out my friend cheated with my girlfriend, it's a stupid excuse but it hurt me bad." He said looking at the ground. I felt bad for him a little bit. I looked at him and saw his eyes glossy, he was tearing up. "It's fine." I said tilting my head back. "We fight sometimes, and even say things we regret afterwards. It's just apart of being friends I guess." I tried making the conversation a bit lighter. He looked at me and pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry Darren." He kept saying saying sorry. It made me feel bad for him more and more. I hugged him back and smiled a little.

'He smells so comforting.' I thought while hugging him. I realised what I was thinking and quickly stopped hugging him. "Yeah it's fine, we good now?" I asked pulling away. "Yeah." He said smiling again.

Even after he apologised I still didn't feel alive. I felt like I was in a dream and my body wasn't even mine. "I'm going to go back to sleep." I said walking away. I turned to look at him before leaving, he was sitting there in silence staring at nothing. He looked mindless. I walked back inside seeing Regie walk downstairs.

(Regies POV)

When I walked downstairs going towards the kitchen I saw Darren walk towards me back inside the house. I looked outside seeing Sebastian sitting on the pool table. I glanced back at Darren, he looked lifeless, his expression was numb and he just looked drained. I couldn't help but feel sorry but at the same time there isn't much I can do.

(Darren's POV)

I passed Regie walking up stairs to his and Justin's room. I laid in his bed with my mind wondering. 'Did seb really mean it when he told me to leave. I mean I have been annoying most times with the boys.' I thought tearing up. I slammed the pillow on my head trying to compose myself and breath. 'It's ok Darren. Calm down.' I thought taking deep breathes.