Guns and Roses

Chapter 1 - My Disease

Dana's pov -

Sometimes pretending to be someone your not is a better option then...being yourself. You know? I have to be a different person for the people around me.  The real me is a...ugly one.

I would talk and talk nonstop. I would move to much, I would talk loudly, I would be too touchy. Then I end up saying something I regret. I have to stop doing that.

I am sensitive to the max! But will I ever show it? No never. I will never show it. Once again, I put a whole new mask. I am disgusted in myself. I take the yellow container full of pills. Pills for me. I get one and put it in my mouth and gulp down the water.

I have to take pills in order to keep my emotions and body stable. I can get very unstable. 'are you sick?' well yes...yes I am. If I don't take the pills more than three days my body will go into hyper mode. I get too grow, I ended up in the hospital one time from a heart attack when I was 16. Only once though. Hopefully not again.

The symptoms if I don't take my medicine are very bad, it's like someone with Asthma, they have to have their in hailer everywhere they go. Same goes with me but instead it's my meds. Without them I could loose it and die. But Alhamdulillah  that hasn't happened.

Many other symptoms comes with it and each of them makes me want to slap myself till I stop being so hyper and..weird. I don't even know how to pronounce the name of the 'disorder' it's a long name...as usual. In short words, it's a very rare heart disease.

This...sickness made people throughout my entire school life, fine me different. They would call me out for being to loud or breathing to heavily, or if my cheeks go too red. And if my cheeks go super red that's a sign I have to take my meds. Now or else my heart would...yeah. Kids found me funny. At first I laughed with them cuz I didn't understand but now...

I know they were laughing at me cuz I was sick. I had something that would never go away.

I was a sick child.

Growing up in a village school also doesn't help the gossip. When i get on new medications my body does this thing where I can't read or write at random times. It could last for three seconds or more. It could come any time during my new medications. That's my body way to adjust but that made school very heard for me.

It was so hard I wouldn't stop crying. But my mom helps. My dad wasn't their for me but my mom was. We're not super close..but she's there during hard times. My dad gets mad every time he sees me because he knows I'm not a normal child like anyone else. And I'll never be that normal child in his eyes.

My mom is always quiet. She barely speaks but sometimes she does talk to me. She said she used to have this same disease so her family forced her to get married fast or else no one will want her and she got married to my dad but he never knew she had this disease. When he found out she was pregnant with me.

He forced her to take every medication in the world to remove it. He even beat her up every day so it would 'kill it' he's so dumb. I swear some men—

He would bring random ingredients that could contain led or worded things with harmful poisonous toxins but he wouldn't care and he'll forcefully feed it to her and sometimes I watched him when I was little put it in mamas tea. He would always put it in her tea, water, juice, food. Papa also only made her eat bread and beans so she's a very skinny women. She still  has to go under those rules. Sometimes I see her coughing blood. I cried all night.

My mamas sick like me too.

I want to cry every time I think of her back home alone with a beast. One day mama I will take you home. A new home mama. "Please don't get sick mama. I need you"

——

I snap out of my deep thoughts and put my meds in my purse and head to training. I tried to tiptoe so my brother; bilal doesn't turn around and see me leaving.

He turns around, "Did you take your medicine. I don't wanna deal with your freak shit again. It's creepy. Let's leave it to the old bitch who does it." He laughed evilly. But my heart pained as he talked about mama like that. She doesn't deserve any of this. Mama never had peace. Ever.

"Don't say that.." I said almost whispering like but he heard. He looked at me away from the mail letters and his smile dropped.

"You're fucking sick what would you know? Huh? Papa should do the same to you too— you know what just leave you're always ruining the mood.." he said sighing and rubbed his temple. I stared at him trying to control my anger and sadness.

I turned to leave but his comment made me stop in my tracks. "Oh yeah don't talk or look or even breath next to a boy. Understood. You're not here to fuck around." He said harshly and I closed my eyes as he cursed. Cursing makes me cringe. I hate it.

It's not like any boy would come to me. Which I'm not complaining. I don't want to meet someone like papa. Would my future husband treat me just like papa does to mama? No mama will always be next to me and during my marriage ceremony mama will hold my hand and if she says he is right I will agree too. I will make a special speech for my mom because she's my hero.

——-

Hey!! I'm back and with a whole new book. This one is going to be a favorite. I will update as much as I can. Cuz I love to write this too!!!