Character Rater- Requests OPEN

🌴 •ᴀQᴜᴀʀɪᴜꜱ• 🌴

Blitzi_Heartby

I had to copy a lot of stuff from their OC book which was... ahem not fun to say the least... my fingiessssss hurt from typing :,C And I copied (almost) EXACTLY from the book, so all the grammar/spelling/etc. mistakes were from the book. Maybe their first language isn't English, but it's REALLY hard for me to understand some of it :C

◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈

Name: Aquarius

Okay, kind of bland/unoriginal name but I suppose it's alright.

January 20-February 18 are the astrology sign dates, so is their birthday then maybe?

Nickname: Pesce de Mare, Sea Winger, Seawing Splasher Winger, Riptide's Occupation Citizen

What does that translate to? It sounds French? And I know mare is like horse, and pesce sounds like pescado (which is Spanish and means fish). So horse of the fish? Or fish horse? Or like horse of the sea? I don't know. And why "Seawing Splasher Winger?" And Riptide's Occupation Citizen? What does that mean? And Riptide? So this is in canon time?? How does he know her? Why? I smell a Mary Sue oncoming...

Gender: female

Okay.

Sexuality: heterosexual

Heterosexual is straight for those who don't know

Personality: she is quiet, troubled, brooding, grin, moody, seemingly emotionless, intelligent, studious and Sarcastic through all Pantala

I would LOVE more personality, because these are just adjectives at the moment, they don't actually convey anything. So, she's quiet, but why? And why is she troubled/brooding? What happened? And how can she "grin," be moody, and seemingly emotionless... all at the same time?? She's intelligent and studious, but why? Does she like to study? When does she study? Okay... so she's known ALL throughout Pantala......... What about Pyrrhia? *cough cough* Mary Sue *cough cough*

Appearance: let me tag you why?

The reason why I like the appearance is it helps you imagine the character more, can also tell me more about the character, etc.

A female Sea/Silk who's highly recommended to Riptide to all Pyrria and Pantala to all town. She has dark, medium, blue scales on her chin, legs, body, wings and the tail. She as various of Sky blue, medium yellow green, dark avocado green and light green around the body in the wings, legs, face and the tail. She has four wing with white sharp claws on it, she has light blue spikes, light medium blue fin on her chest, dark aquarium blue speckles on the underbelly and sky blue chin. She has light lime green on her head and the horn along with light green side. She has dark green aquarium antenna and light red on her ear

So, she's a hybrid. Are dragons okay with that? Does she get bullied? Why is she recommended? So she's... known by all... Okay... yeah... major Mary Sue revision here please. I don't think I need to explain why I mean... come on.

I like how you added different colors with specific names, and I see the yellow is coming from the silkwing, along with the wings, along with the antenna. I mean, not the best, but I suppose it will do. And I think by aquarium, you mean aquamarine.

Eyecolor: Sky aquamarine eyes

Okay, cool. Birthstone for March, and Latin for seawater (hence it's blue-green color).

Accessories: A aquamarine gem

Is she born in March then? Then she's not an Aquarius.... But still, when is she born?

Logo: Sky Flee wings (like the apparently appearance of the whale echolocation vision)

I don't know what this means... sorry :I

Age: 48-57

In dragon or human years?

Residence: in between Sea and Silk place

Are they even near each other? It's been so long since I've looked at a map... And who does she live with? So she can swim underwater, but does her being part silkwing affect her swimming ability?... it should...

Backstory: too long to fill

UD;faskjdfl;asdlkf;sadfdsaf welll thennnnnnnnnn....................

Family: Umm.... Let me know if in okay

buhhh- whaaaa?

Family: Unkown?

Why the question mark... ?

Sisters: Starstruck

Boyfriends: Acquario

What about her parents? And boyfriends? Plural? What is her relationship with her sister? Do they get along? What does she look like? When did she meet her boyfriend? Is he a seawing, or a silkwing, or something else?

Other:

She is a Riptide's Occurred Dragonet of pantala and Pyrria

What does thisssssss mean????

abilities: strong gills, fast swimming, fast fin dorsals, flight, Water Echolocation, night vision, underwater breathing, glowing neon water scales and clearsight

I mean... these are just all pretty normal seawing attributes, except for the fast parts. I mean, fast swimming and fast dorsal fins are kind of redundant, but again, overpowered. Water echolocation is just regular echolocation, and night vision... I mean, I guess you're eyes would be different as a seawing, and I'm pretty sure all the WoF dragons can see in the night. Anyways, I find it a little weird that while you're part silkwing, you only have seawing abilities? Unless you are a very small part silkwing, you should have a more even balance. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but glowing neon scales mean you are royalty, so... And I don't know what you mean by Clearsight, because that's Hivewing's who have the black scales from Clearsight.

she's a Sea/Silk hybrid who can handle the care with busted across the pantala, with blasted problems

Again, same thing as above. And again, no idea what you mean, but it sounds very Mary Sue.

she is the only one who has problems in writing, switching and making their stuff in process way

So, she has problems with writing, but I don't know the other stuff. And how does that writing problem stop her from reaching her goals? What are it's negative effects? Why isn't she good at writing?

she is middle-aged Sea/Silk who is a confessional sidekick of Riptide before Princess Orca camed in the place where all Seawing flee off

Confessional sidekick? And I'm pretty sure Princess Orca was before Riptide/when he was very young? And where did the Seawings flee?

she is currently not a good at writing and fixing the correct words that she pressed in a wrong way

Not trying to be rude, but it sounds like you're describing yourself 😂 Maybe English isn't your first language or something idk.

she is the one of Riptide's confessional citizen before Blue, Cricket and Princess Orca conference

Again, confessional citizen? I've thought about what you might be trying to say, but I still don't understand. And Blue and Cricket were not around when Princess Orca was, and they never even met, so I don't know what AU you are in, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

=====

FINAL VERDICT:

I would give Aquarius a 3/10. Your character needs a lot more work, not only in grammar/comprehensibility, but also in the personality and history sections. The personality was more just adjectives, and the history wasn't even there. I think with more descriptions/explanations this character could definitely be a cool OC, but at the moment, it needs some fine tuning.

=====

◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈