we meet again ¹ - the 5th wave

IV

i missed him, more than anything. i've loved before but this one was different, i mean there's not many love options in the world for a sixteen-year-old girl.

my eyes opened and when they did there was a bright light blinding my eyes. i hissed at the sudden brightness. "morning sunshine." a women's voice echoed in my head over a million times, it was pounding, i couldn't move my leg. "shit." i mumbled as i tried to move. "don't move it'll make it worse." she said pressing her cold hands against my arms.

"i'm dr pam. and you are?" she asked a smile across her face. i stared at her blankly, i didn't want to answer. i didn't want another person to get to know me, and me get to know them just for them to die. "not a talker huh?" she asked once again. "i'll guess then?" dr pam said before thinking, "zoe? mackenzie? paige? olivia? sophia? alright i give up." she said with a soft laugh and a shrug.

i sighed all because i tell her my name doesn't mean we're close. "lana." i said quietly barely above a whisper. "pretty name." dr pam said with yet another one of those soft smiles.

silence. and even more silence. i've learned to hate silence, i miss the feeling of getting pissed off when it was loud in the house or outside.

over the past two weeks i had eaten, used the bathroom lied down, repeat. but now i was finally healed for the most part. "where's my sister?" i asked dr pam. "with her group." dr pam responded. "what?" i asked nervously, "will i be with her?" i ask her another question.

"i truly don't know, but i know they do call her cinderella, does that mean something?" i smiled softly at the nickname, but then look at dr pam, "is she safe?" i added to the list of questions i had just asked her. "definitely. but we have something we need to do before i dismiss you to yours." dr pam ordered before grabbing a small metal chip. "what's that?" i asked nervously.

"it's a tracking device. it's a pro caution. the military has been using it for years now." she said before putting it in the back of my neck. she then took me to a chair, "now i have to strap you down. don't panic it's completely safe." she said before grabbing the straps.

i didn't like the feeling but i knew the more i fought the longer it'd take. "what does this thing do?" i asked scared about the outcome, "they call it the wonderland, we got it from the others, it's an advanced technology. it'll just show us what we need." dr pam explained. "now count down from three." she said again.

i took a deep breath, "three..." a my breath slowly comes out. "two..." getting tired now, "one..." gone. i felt like it was real, and it was, i was there.

three-year-old me feeding a dove bird out of my hand, my dad smiling at me as i giggled at the feeling, "dove." i said quietly. now six years old, cassie and i friends since we were babies playing with our baby dolls when we heard my mom crying, she had a miscarriage that day. seven, found out i was having a little brother. eight, he was born i was beyond thrilled. eleven, finally having a baby sister, taking care of her as much as i could while still taking care of my three-year-old brother. fourteen, it's too close, my parents started fighting more than ever before, cassie and i stopped being friends. sixteen, throwing up, plane crashing, tsunami, red tsunami, losing mrs and mr sullivan, getting abandoned by cassie, getting shot, loving someone, getting raped, stabbed, goodbye, sister. i was now sobbing, beads of sweat on my forehead.

"you're okay now, you're okay." dr pam said as her cold hands rubbed my forehead, "no!" i screamed trying to get from the restraints. "no! no! no!" i had just lived through all the pain again, what did you expect? laughing like a sociopath, well guess what i'm not, sorry to disappoint.

after a while i finally calmed down, she took the restraints off before sitting me in front of a mirror. my face was slim, it was normally round but now i have a sharp jawline, i have a little color in my face after eating as much as i did. i couldn't show her the anorexia so i forced it down, my collarbones, my biggest insecurities, the dark circles under my eyes, "you could've warned me. i look horrendous." i said with a weak laugh.

"oh you don't look that bad." dr pam said, "you're about to see an alien." she stated, "what do you mean?" i asked looking at her over my shoulder, "they invade your brain, they take over human form." dr pam answered quietly. my eyebrows knitted together.

"don't worry he won't be able to see you." she says before pushing a button, the face of the alien made my stomach drop. my breathing hurt, "no." i whispered under my breath, "what's wrong?" she asked placing a hand on my shoulder. i looked over at her tears pricked my eyes. "you're wrong." i said quietly.