⚠️TW⚠️: if you are sensitive about subject such as mutilation, depression and suicidal ideas or if you are in a state where you are sensitive or have black ideas, my story may not be made for you.
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I feel so fucking weird lately. I feel like everything around me is moving and living and I'm just still standing where I was left. It's so stupid but a girl compared my life to an episode of Skins the other day. I find it kinda sad but at the same time I feel like she's right. I'm just a body with no soul in it, an observer, an outcast weird girl with no place in this world for everyone. Trying to go up to the surface and breathe without suffocating while drowning in a deep dark sea. You don't care so why should I care about myself like you asked me to? You're not me and that's why you'll never understand. Where is my fucking mind? I miss myself. Lana was right when she said « I think I'll miss you forever » in her song Summertime Sadness. I felt related so much to that line. Every time I feel you close it make me feel so sick. I gave you my entire heart even if you and I knew damn well it was already a lot damaged and you just crushed it in your hands because of some stupid mistake I did. You had every right to feel the way you did and I would've felt like that too if it happened to me, but you didn't had the right to act the way you do. There's so much things I wanna say but I don't know where to start. Unfortunately, you'll never gonna see and read this because you know why would you even botter to check up on me a bit, right? I feel like I'm an outcast everywhere I go, like a glitch or like parasites.
