13 Dances (A Seventeen Fanfiction)

-9-

I hadn't been in that dark room this time. I don't know if this was a bad thing, but Sabrina didn't seem to be too enthusiastic about it. I sighed. I still lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. But no matter how long I stared, it wouldn't change its look. Just as much as lying here wouldn't help me get things done and out of here. But I just didn't have the energy to do something right now. I just wanted to lie here. Or rather go back to that dark room. I wanted to hear his voice again. I wanted to hear that he needed me. And maybe a tiny little part of me wanted to make sure he hadn't found someone else in the meantime. If his days were my days – though it never really got dark here, I could tell by the sky turning into a dark grey instead of a light one – then he had already waited eleven days for me. Not enough time to find someone else, was it?

But what if the nurse I had heard was a beautiful and charming woman? They'd meet every day and eventually he might realize that she is better than me and then- Stop. Stop it right now. He decided for you and you never doubted it. Just couldn't believe it. Those are two very different things. I sat up and ruffled my hair. I was about to go crazy in here. My boyfriend was out there waiting for me and I was sinking deep into self-doubts instead of figuring out how to get out of here. Seungcheol had told me I was a good person. I should just believe him. Meg had looked up to me even though I never understood why. Seungkwan had defended me despite not really knowing me, Soonyoung had helped me out even when he himself needed help and Junhui had accepted all of my antics and became my best friend. Something about me must be worthy of being loved and even if I didn't know what it was or why, I might just as well remind myself of it until I would figure it out. If I ever would. However, I was good enough for them, otherwise they wouldn't have done what they have done. Wasn't that all that mattered?

I decided that, yes it was. Enough of being all gloomy. I got up. Maybe the garden could ease my mind again. I took a long stroll through every part of the garden, finally ending it at my usual spot at the stream. If I could feel exhaustion in this world, I'd probably feel my feet hurting. I'd dip them into the water to refresh them and enjoy the warm sun rays. At least if there were some. Thanks to the weird sky I had here, I couldn't even tell if it was warm or not. Or probably it always had the perfect temperature between it so I wouldn't even know. I sighed and plopped down, stretching out my feet towards the water and dipped them in. Only to pull them back shocked just the next second. The water felt cold. The water. Was. COLD. I jumped up. "Sabrina!", I yelled and turned to run into the garden again, hoping to find her, "Sabrina!"

"I told you I am the keeper of memories and do not have a name, no matter what you came up with", she sighed behind me and I flinched. I ignored her comment and grabbed her by her shoulders. "I. Can. Feel. Water.", I said, emphasizing every single word. Her eyes widened. "Like in 'It felt cold'?", she reassured and I nodded enthusiastically. "That is great!", she exclaimed, freeing herself, "It really is great!" "Is it? It is, I know!", I agreed, jumping up and down excitedly, "Can we go look at the next memory right away? We are making progress, aren't we?" However, she shook her head sadly and my enthusiasm faded. "Progress yes, memory no", she answered, "If we go too fast it could give you a shock and that is something very unpleasant to happen. It could make you backtrack in your progress. We still need patience."

<3

I went to the stream even more often nowadays, still in disbelief that I could feel the water's temperature. By now I was certain that this world just did have that kind of "perfect" temperature. I even started to feel the warmth of the blanket whenever I cuddled into my bed. That's where I currently was as Sabrina entered the cottage. "I thought we can dare to continue with another memory", she said straight up. I peeked towards her from between the blankets. It was early morning. Or at least I thought so. However, I was barely awake, so I just mumbled some kind of approval and got out, following her towards the rose arch, watching her doing the usual stuff and then entering.

Once I stepped through however, I again felt wide awake. I was about to see another memory! I wondered who would step in this time. Sabrina told me that the chance of meeting the same person twice was relatively low. That made my curiosity grow though. And when the door opened, my breath stopped. Indeed, I haven't danced with him here yet. But I remembered doing so in the real world quite well. Hey there, I thought to myself, how are you doing? I knew that even if I would ask, he wouldn't answer, so I just bowed to him, took his hand and started to follow his lead.