Death to Bumble Bees

8: bee vs stage

Listen to Alice by Avril Lavigne

Chapter Eight: Bee VS. the Stage

The walk back to campus was done in silence. 

Bee had wiped what few tears had fallen, anger replacing the hollow emptiness ringing in her ears. Jason didn't say a word, only observed her as they tread through the thicket of the woods. With a hard expression on her face, Bee felt lost and confused; her whole body suddenly in free-fall as if she'd been pushed into a hole that had suddenly opened up in the ground beneath her.

She didn't know where she was going, nor did she know where she had been. All she knew was that she had to keep going. Just as she had always done before, she had to let her legs move her away from danger and away from the pain that her past provided. With nothing to grab and no way to stop the fall, she let go of everything that she thought she knew. Reality wasn't what she thought; it wasn't something tangible to her anymore. What was real, was the unexplainable.

The dreams that plagued her. The shadow creatures that threatened her. And a man that promised to disappear until the moment she'd cease to exist. Those, she knew, were real. Everything else was all up for grabs--perhaps all a gimmick to placate her until she was expired.

Looking down at her camera hitting her chest with each step, she suddenly grabbed it--pulling it from around her neck. Observing it for a moment with a heated expression, she wondered how many lies were hidden in it's contents. How many secrets were covered with each captured image. With disgust rolling through her body like a violent chill, she abruptly hurled the camera down to the ground--the sound of breaking glass sounding out with her ragged breath.

"You fucking alien!" She screamed, seeing spots of colour from the force of the scream. "I hope you rot! I hope you fall off a cliff! I hope you get run over by a car! I hope your leg is eaten by a crocodile! I hope meteorites rain on you! I hope you get your heart broken by a lover! I hope you eat something so spicy you puke! I hope your hair falls out from all that bleach you use! I hope your eyes turn into goo from the radiation! I hope--I hope--I hope--"

Jason's arms suddenly wrapped around her, pulling her trembling body into his chest as he held her in an impenetrable grip.

"I hope you're abandoned and you feel so lost you dont know which way is up anymore." She said, no longer yelling up at the sky as she stared blankly into the trees. "I hope you wake up and realize how much you regret it all." She whispered, feeling drowsy from waking up so early as the sun began to rise in the distance, "I hope you never get to drink a root beer float." She finished lamely, feeling a flush of heat in her cheeks as she frowned. "You don't deserve a root beer float. You stupid alien..."

Jason didn't say a word for a long moment as he smoothed Bee's hair down, winding his other arm around her waist more as he held her tightly to him. "That must have been quite the dream." He whispered in her ear, trying to lighten her mood.

It worked as she released a short laugh, her eyes shutting as she shook her head. "I wasn't even on earth anymore." She told him, "I was taken to another world."

"A culture shock, I'm sure." He murmured, kissing her head as he urged her to keep walking--stuck to her like glue as he guided her from behind.

She nodded, leaning her head back against his broad shoulder, "It felt like I suddenly had all the answers." She explained loosely, "Like i was finally going to understand all the things I never thought could be explained."

He hummed in her ear, readjusting his arms around her soft torso as he listened to her.

"And then, just as I was about to have all those answers... I was taken back home." Her voice sounded sad even to her ears as the dread seeped into her words, "There wasn't even a warning. And the worst part was that when I got home, it was like it wasn't really my home anymore. Like now that I knew there were all these things out there, I could never fit in again. I could never live easily as I once had, knowing there were legitimate answers and reasons to everything." Bee frowned, struggling to understand it herself. "Nothing feels real. Nothing feels genuine. It's like I'm on a stage, just playing a role."

Jason's head moved in acknowledgement as they stepped closer and closer towards the awaiting campus, "Is it a good role, at least?" He asked. "Or is there something that could make it better?"

Bee barely moved her head as she shook her head 'no'. "No matter how good the role is, at the end of the day it's all just to entertain the audience--whoever that may be."

"There's really no way to make you happy then?" He asked, a note of real sadness in his voice. "No way to make you enjoy what you have?" They stopped as Bee opened her eyes, turning in his strong arms to face him. His eyes were troubled as they stared at her, waiting for her answers to his questions. "Am I not good enough?" Jason asked suddenly, his face seeming more confused than it was upset; as if unable to compute the idea. "Is there really nothing I can do to be enough for you? To make you forget that you're on that stage?"

Bee felt her face drain of blood, feeling like the worst girlfriend in the world--no, the universe.

"Jase..." she whispered, touching his face earnestly, "It was just a dream." She lied, wrapping her arms around his thick neck as he watched her with troubled eyes, "You are more than enough. You are so good, I don't deserve you." Her voice shook, trying her hardest to reassure him as her eyes watered.

She never wanted to make anyone feel like how she'd been made to feel. Like someone unworthy. Like someone who could never be good enough. Jason was the opposite of that--it was her that was broken. Not him.

Jason's face softened, "It hurts you when I ask you these things." Pressing a finger into the wrinkles between her eyes, he smiled as her face smoothed out under his touch, "I never want to hurt you, Beatrice. I wont ask you those things again." Leaning down, he pressed his soft lips to her nose, "Whatever makes you happy, I'll make sure that you get it."

Bee shook her head adamantly, "I dont want you holding back something just because it hurts me to hear it." She pulled herself up on her tiptoes, meeting him halfway as she pressed her lips to his tenderly. She pulled back just enough to speak, "I also want to make you happy, Jase." Kissing him again, she felt how easily it could be to keep falling into his lips. To keep coming home to his arms. To keep finding a place in his heart.

His lips grew more urgent--pulling her in deeper as his hands raked up her back and tangled in her hair. She wrapped herself around him just as hungrily; feeling him guide her up as he lifted her up by her thighs suddenly. Legs around his hips, Jason pressed her back against a tree, exploring her body with his large hands as her head fell back in a spin of euphoria.

Maybe she didn't need real, Bee thought as Jason continued to make shivers of pleasure roll violently through her body. Maybe it was like he had said; he could make her forget she was on stage. Maybe she could just immerse herself in the role and live like she was the character she once was.

Maybe she could forget she was ever empty in the first place.

End of Chapter Eight

I seriously want a Jason of my own. He does EVERYTHING right. Gah. I love you, Jason. On another note, I love this song. It's been my go-to 'head up and be strong' song for years (since the movie came out with the soundtrack!) and it's so underrated. I like that it fits this scene *almost* perfectly.