𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 ; byler

20. sometimes

Will

as mike left the house, I was still frozen, standing there.

el was still here.

and i was just standing there, i don't know what i wanted to do or what i was going to do.

but then, i just dropped.

i slumped down on my chair, holding my breath. maybe if i just stayed still and stopped breathing it would go away.

if i was arguing with statements like that why can't i move,why can't i just brush past what he said.

i don't know what i felt and honestly i didn't want to know at all. but really i was fooling myself as my face became heavier.

and i don't even know where my mom and hopper was, did they hear all that of just taking a really long time on the kitchen.

im Infront or jane right now, i can't cry that's embarrassing.

but i couldn't help but just release a single tear from my left eye. but one drop causes the whole dam to break.

in a split second i was shaking from holding my tears back,but they would just continue dripping out before the entire waterworks gushed out.

I raised up my arm and quickly sweeped my tears to the right side of my face before standing up and walking to the stairs.

but my legs just broke down there, my legs were so shaky, they were shivering cold.

so cold for no reason.

as I was on the floor, I crumpled myself up in search for warmth. but I gave up , sat up straight and just let it all out.

no one would really check up on me anytime soon.

.

I sat there wiping my tears as someone came walking up the stairs slowly and sitting right by me.

"mikes an ass"

I turned around to jane and giggled. still pushing out tears.

"im sorry about earlier"

"no it's fine I would too,"

she paused before continuing,

"hey I don't know if this is rude speaking that we just met but what was that stuff about, I mean since your seeing someone"

"no it's fine I mean you might be my sister so might as well,"

i took a deep breath before starting, but as i took a second glance at her. it weirdly felt right to tell her, not that she might be my step sister but just her.

maybe this was the right move.

and maybe she was the right choice.

"at the party..."

.

"...and i left"

as i finished my sentence, i didn't even realize how easily that came out. and it hit me i didn't even tell max about any of it.

before i could think about basically everything, jane cut my train of thought off.

"well i don't really have much to say and i know mike sucks but i also know he really likes you"

"what?"

yeah actually, what?

she shook her head, but strangely I think she knew something.

just didn't really want to say it.

"I mean based on all the stuff you said, I mean he never did that stuff for me."

I tried to hold back a laugh, and obviously succeeded and raised my eyebrows at her.

"ok fine we never loved eachother blah blah blah just let me have this point"

I nudged her with my elbow, playfully of course. but I still had more to say.

"well I mean it isn't entirely mikes fault,if it's anything I'm the asshole for starting to go out with a childhood friend I haven't seen in like what? 3 years"

"don't you see you are perfect for eachother you just admitted you both are assholes"

I smiled and gave out a breathy laugh,but I was quickly pulled into a hug. I had zero instinct to hug back but I was soon released from her grasp,

"sorry I felt like you needed it"

I leaned back forward and held her like a pillow, right before saying.

"never guessed I would be talking one too one heart too heart with hawkins highs senior queen"

"always guess stuff"

we let go off eachother as soon as we heard chief hopper yell too her of their departure.

she waved me goodbye, but as I watched her walk down the steps only then I realized that I was definitely wrong.

she didn't need to humble herself because she was already a great person, and I'm glad I opened up about everything.

.

weirdly after they left and some time passed I felt the comfort of the staircase enveloping me.

strangely comfortable for a hard cold wooden floor but I've definitely experienced stranger things.

in a middle of a yawn my mom came walking up the stairs, and sat herself down next to me.

"so seems like you like jane"

"she's a great person,mom, and I really shouldn't have said all that stuff at the table"

"you definitely had a reason"

I bent over burying my head in my legs of embarrassment,

"I really wish you didn't hear that"

"youre 16 it happens to all of us"

"your the worst"

I got up from my legs and leaned against her. and as she let me rest on her, I definitely thought of what she said.

'youre 16'

this will definitely be just a memory I laugh back at, I hope.

words: 921

EW I TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE THUS

sorry I was STILL on vacation and has major writers block (you can take an L on me)