𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 ; byler

27. what if

23/11/22

will

well dawson called me over.

currently im standing outside his house at 7 pm, i finished dinner an hour earlier. well honestly this was planned a little last minute but i dont mind.

recently, ive had absolutely nothing on my mind actually.

i listened to the door lock clicking open, as i was met with the open door, along with his face peeping out.

"heyy"

"hi"

he moved to the side as a gesture for me to come in, i took the opportunity to rush inside and escape from the cold air gushing in.

he closed the door behind me,while i took the opportunity to take a look around his house. im still really surprised they kept the house even after they moved states.

it felt good to be back in here.

"so i was just wondering, we've been dating for 3 weeks and we haven't really done anything just the two of us."

"dawson just tell me what you're building up too"

i watched as he gave me a grin, he grabbed my arm and dragged me further into the house. 

i was presented a living room with i dont even know how many blankets, and snacks on the table, including fairy lights tied upon the curtains.

"surprise! i thought it would be nice to add a little home theatre, plus i have a bunch of dvds. all horror too"

i could do nothing but stare at the set-up in awe, looking back at dawson i couldn't describe how grateful i was. but the thing that was bugging me was how well he knew me.

but clearly i haven't been paying much attention to him.

"its amazing"

i tried to brush off the previous thought, i should just live in the moment, right now. this is all i ever wanted, but it didn't feel right at all really.

.

we were at the ending of the conjuring, honestly i never thought this show was that scary, just disturbing. i loved it.

when the credits finally started rolling, i saw dawson turn to face me, i turned my head as well being faced with him.

"how the fuck are you able to watch that i swear i was on the verge of screaming"

"you did scream what do you mean"

"shut up"

we both bursted out laughing, and soon our crazed laughter filled the room like a disorganised band. but quickly the essence of our combined laughter faded.

i watched as his eyes drifted around my lips,but i didn't feel anything.

 I only thought about what mike said again and again.

'what do you see in him'

no, i was just being paranoid. i leaned in a little towards dawson, and we were inching towards each other so god damn slowly, but yet i wouldnt wish it was any faster.

i couldn't figure out why it felt different, was it because dawson was my boyfriend and mike was just a friend? 

or was it entirely something else, i could just barely wrap my mind around it. yet with this kiss that was never going to happen, i dont understand what took me so long, i finally realised. none of this ever felt right. 

at least not too me.

I like mike.

whatever he said that day, and even before that, it was true it was definitely true. i didnt feel anything for dawson. i backed away from him hastily. he looked at me confused, i just hope i wasn't confused too. 

"whats wrong?"

 he asked, he was sweet but i just didn't like him like that, god i never liked him like that.

 "im sorry i cant do this."

"what are you sorry for, i mean its ok if you don't want to but you can tell me whatevers wrong."

god i cant believe im doing this, he is really, so kind.

"we have to break up"

he stared at me and with a shock, he was tensed up, but after a while he softly smiled and relaxed his body. 

i didn't know what was happening.

" i know why, its mike isn't it? i get it you finally realized you like him and im ok with it"

 i refuse to believe what I was hearing, my boyfriend-,well now ex was ok with this, i couldn't help but start crying, both of guilt and happiness. and at this point i dont really know what anymore.

 he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around me as i still adjusted to the hug. why was he even hugging me, i feel like an asshole.

 "i know you just broke up with me but still friends?"

"shut up you're my fucking best friend"

 i backed away and looked back at him wiping my tears with the oversized jacket i was wearing, i didn't even realise it was mikes, everything was mike, it was always mike.

 i smiled at him as he got up, extending his arm out to me, i took it pulling myself up. he released my hand once i was up and walking. 

he walked me to the front door, unlocking it before hand.

"well i guess you don't really want to stay here anymore because this mood is the complete opposite of what were feeling right now."

"no this was really sweet and again im so sorry"

"shut up i dont accept any sorry's from you, you just followed your heart"

"damn it you're so nice"

he walked me out of his house and i walked down the street alone too, but i didn't feel alone at all.

words: 1000

guys you don't understand how long I've had this part planned like I wrote this chapter down in octobrr and omg it's coming true hope you guys like it too!!! but obviously this took way longer because I had to change alot of stuff. (I wonder why) but WERE ALMOST DONE I expect this to end at 30 chapters+ bye guys 😍😍😍