Hexed

Chapter Eleven

I don't even hesitate when my alarm goes off. I went over everything I have to do a million times last night. I don't give myself time to think because I know I'll start to doubt my decisions again. I put all my stuff in a bag and when I get downstairs, I see Mike sleeping on the couch again, the gun still lightly in his hand. I put the note I wrote a few minutes ago on the table.

Hopefully I'll be back soon, don't worry about me. -f

I avoid the noisy plank in the floor this time and head to the door. Even though I hate this place I take one last look around. It's not all bad. There's a picture on the wall of Mike and Lydia when they got married, moved in together. All before the war.

Then I close the door behind me, take a deep breath and walk out the building. This time there are actually some people around. It's early so they're all going to work. Just another normal day for them. Not knowing all the secrets and lies hidden in these streets. I only take one more step when I notice Kasper walking towards me. I don't have time to listen to him. I've decided and I don't need him confusing me again. I start walking away from him. But he catches up.

"Just go away Kasper. I'm not staying, and there's not a bloody thing you can say to change my mind. So just go home, alright? Just-" but he cuts me off.

He steps in front of me and wraps his arms around me.

"I know." he says softly to me.

Without thinking I hug him as well. He pulls himself away much sooner than I would've liked. I can feel the lump in my throat as I try to look calm.

"Be careful out there okay?" He adds. Keeping his eyes locked to mine.

I nod and quickly look away. It physically hurts to leave him. Everything in me is telling me to stay with him, he's all I have. Am I really going to leave him for the slight chance that I can help with whatever the hell is going on out there? I look up again and see him still staring at me with those beautiful eyes.

"I will." I answer.

He slightly grins at me, showing that it's okay. And it is. I smile back and turn around. Forcing myself to walk away.

It takes me a few minutes to find the van again. I'm walking towards it, Willow opens the door and jumps out with a wide smile.

"You came!" she says as she jogs over to me.

I smile back. I'm happy to see her again. Just her presence gives me motivation again.

"Where's Kasper?" she asks when we're walking next to each other to the van.

"He's not coming." I say.

I feel kind of guilty, ashamed even. I think Willow also hoped that he'd come with us.

She nods. Its silent for a moment. We stand near the van for a little bit, I don't see anyone else in it.

"Where are the others?" I ask.

"They just needed to grab some stuff. We split up in two groups, we're the first one and the second is going in a few hours." she replies. "Don't worry, you're with us. Just do whatever Jerome tells you to and you'll be fine."

I nod. I wonder what actual things I could help with. It's not like I can fight, or have any information they might need. But it looks like they're just trying to gather up as many people as possible to secure the whole mission. She tells me roughly about the plan that they've come up with. We'll drive to a train station which is located at the edge of the city. It's been banned to travel for normal citizens so we're going to have to sneak on. Then with the information that Wick gave us, we can get off the train at the last stop and walk the rest of the way. I've never been out of this city before. After the war, travel has become extremely strict, I don't know anyone from outside the city. And then hopefully within two to three days, we'll get to the lab.

"I'm glad you decided to join us." Jerome says behind me.

I turn around and see the three of them walking towards us. I smile when I see that Benji and Naomi are there too, I was hoping they'd be with us.

We all get in the car. They explain a bit more on what they're trying to do and how I come into play. Apparently, this lab has been their main testing area for the past decade. They came up with some theories on why the President is doing all of this. Most of them having to do with having even more control over the country, or having revenge on our neighbouring countries. Neither sound too appealing.

Another detail worth mentioning, is that they give me a knife. It's a small dagger, 'just in case'. They all have one, or a weapon of some sorts, but the only one with a gun is Jerome. The team that is coming after us is more heavily armed. They'll do the heavy work when we find out how to get inside and what we need to do. It sounds like we're the 'brains' of the operation.

The excitement of going out on what feels like an adventure is almost bigger than my sorrow for leaving Kasper behind. I try to push it down. It was his decision to stay, and it is mine to leave. There's a chance I'll never see him again, could I live with that? My mind is racing again, thoughts flying in and out like lightning strikes. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

Just breathe. I tell myself. It's gonna be alright.

It feels like my mind has been running on full speed for the last day or so. I have no idea if it's a side effect from the serum or if it's just me being stressed out, but it seems like I can never get a break anymore.

Naomi –who is sitting next to me- seems to notice because she turns to me.

"To keep you and all of us safe, you have to tell us when you feel the effect of the serum. We'll know what to do." she turns to Willow, sitting behind us. "That counts for you too."

Willow nods, understandingly. I nod too. I trust them, though they told me they had no idea what it did to people exactly, plus we don't even know what it does to me. Though whatever will happen, I feel safer knowing they're around than if it would happen with Lydia or Mike around.

"Any questions?" Jerome asks from the front seat.

Nobody answers.

"Let's get going then." he says optimistically as he turns on the motor, causing the whole van to shake a bit.

We don't even move a meter forward when I hear a faint call coming from outside.

"Wait." I say quickly.

We all move to see what is going on, but because I'm on the other side of the window I can barely see. Then I see someone running towards us. He stops in front of the door and Naomi opens it before any of us can say anything. There he is. Panting heavily but has a wide smile on his face. I freeze.

"Hey guys." he says surprisingly calm. "Got room for one more?"

It's silent for a moment. I can't keep my eyes off of him. He's just standing there so easily, like we didn't just say goodbye as if we'd never see each other again. I thought I'd never see him again. I thought that this was goodbye. Yet, here he is, standing right here, ready to go.

"Get in you idiot." Willow says happily.

I'm speechless. What made him change is mind? Why is he here? But I can't say anything. Naomi gets up and moves to the back seat next to Willow making space for Kasper next to me. He closes the door behind him and we're off. Driving into what seems to be a suicidal mission and a freeing adventure at the same time.

"Why'd you change your mind?" I eventually bring out.

He pauses. Then looks me dead in the eyes.

"It took me about two seconds after you left to realize I couldn't let you go."

I smile without even noticing.