DRUG MONEY

after the bullets

Terrance unlocked his house door and stepped in. he wanted 2 tell his mother what happened 2 stacy. Even if she didn't know who stacy was he just wanted someone 2 listen. His mother was fast asleep on the couch with a blanket over her head. He went 2 the body 2 readjust the blanket and underneath was just pillows wrapped around in her bathroom robe. Terrance forced himself throu pain. He looked at himself thru the television but he wasn't really looking at himself but a faraway place filled with nightmares and lonely nights from when he was on the same couch with darkness, starvation, and pleading 2 God. Pleading that the government wouldn't take the house away,that he would be able 2 survive with the scrapes he got from selling marijuana, that Bobby wouldn't keep asking why he needed over the top $ every month. Every night he would look at the television screen with his stomach rumbling, feeling his last bit of hope rot away. He sat on the couch now feeling the same way he felt before his mother got out of the penitentiary. Like scrapes of his soul would deteriorate if he sat on the same spot another minute. He lost everything that he loved, Lisa , the only woman who tried 2 ends meet 4 both Terrance and her. While he was struggling, she supported him by doing something "strange 4 change" She ended up n jail and ended up leaving Terrance 2 where he was now: he couldn't make it n the world.God, I accepted being on my own, he prayed, but I didn't say I was okay with it. Haven't I suffered enough? Terrance buried his head n his sleeve because even n the darkness, thru the television, faintly, he caught Lisa's beautiful hazel eyes and he didn't want her 2 see him cry.

Amaru swallowed a deep breath and did his best track star run 2 get 2 his room before rick woke up and caught him. The thumping on his shoes gave him away and almost simultaneously rick flew up and caught Amaru in midstride. '' some girl named Vanessa called looking 4 u'' he said with little energy. '' whatever man'' Amaru answered crudely. '' why do u hate me Amaru? I'm just tryna help u amd ur moms'' he said ever so kindly.''Cause I don't need u n my fucking life!" Amaru said coarsely then stormed into his room. A chill was sent down his back . The chill of his regrets and the absence of his father was bubbling at the surface of his heart.Thru his blurry vision,he could see his father by the window looking 2 see if anyone was outside in the middle of night wishing 2 alert the peace. Amaru's window was shattered from bullet wounds from shooting that was n session the night Amaru could never forget. Amaru's father was claimed 2 look like Amaru but darker. Amaru didn't see the resemblance. His father was much more handsome than him except the crooked nose his father had from fighting 2 much.the blur seemed 2 look in Amaru's direction without expression. ''Pops'' Amaru whimpered at the image.When the tear fell from Amaru's eyes, he was alone in the room with his face half buried n his pillow. He stared at the window as his tears fell waiting 4 his father 2 come home and say good night 2 him like he did whenever Amaru was crying. He wanted his father 2 touch him on the shoulder and console. He wanted his father 2 lay down on the bed and cry with him until Amaru was laughing at his old man.