DRUG MONEY

NO WAY TO ESCAPE THE STORM

Shackles are formed

They came n like a thunderous storm

It was out of the norm

That I could feel so much

About so little

Gunshot wounded at my chest

Where Mercedes bullet rests

Her bullet sits there every day

Waiting 2 rot my body away

Karma came 2 me ever so quick

Before I even had a chance 2 stitch

Away the fear

Of dear Mercedes

there was a knock on Stacy's room door. Amaru and Terrance came n without a consent 2 do so. They sniffed the air that smelled like medicine and dreams dying '' what's up my man?" terrance asked. '' I feel like shit'' Stacy responded putting away the paper he was writing on. ''ur daddy's downstairs filling out paperwork'' Amaru told him. '' im sorry ur n this mess it was-'' terrance started 2 say. ''nah, it was my fault. Keshaun had nothing 2 do with u besides I deserve this'' Stacy hinted looking at Amaru. ''if u deserved that then so did i. were homeboys, if u go down we go down'' Terrance was sitting down on a chair watching the television on the wall nodding. '' War on drugs is a bunch of baloney. Its society's plan 2 get more black males locked up n jail. I'm yet 2 find a person who buys drugs and wasn't intentionally buying it 2 get high'' A man on the tv was saying after his son was arrested 4 selling Essence on the street near the Branton court apartment. " Amaru aint that where u stay?" terrances asked as the television showed a screen shot of the Branton court apartment. "Yeah'' Amaru answered. '' Crazy right? It could've been u that got locked up 4 that same shit'' Terrance pointed out. '' nigga I aint never going 2 jail!" Amaru mocked terrance. '' u never know'' Stacy said before Terrance answered'' u don't know what God wants 4 us'' '' here he go with that bull shit religion'' Terrance sighed annoyed'' God don't give a damn about us'' '' That's exactly why u live so bad cause u don't have faith'' Stacy managed 2 say. He sounded like he was n pain as he spoke. ''Faith n what? A man that dropped me n a broken home 4 me 2 suffer?'' "Or woman'' Amaru budded n''how u so sure God's a man'' ''Come on Amaru'' Terrance laughed '' If God's a woman, I hope she's a strong black woman'' Stacy added. Terrance laughed and shook his head''yall nuts'' There wasn't much 2 b said after that. Amaru and Terrance left and Stacy went back 2 scribbling on a new sheet of paper. Drawing pictures of this woman God that Amaru mentioned of, wondering what gotten in2 Amaru's head that he was thinking of women with such high power.

Amaru ejaculated himself twice before he went 2 bed figuring that Vanessa wouldn't b knocking on his door anytime soon. He flipped over on his bed practicing what his apology would be like. I'm sorry Vanessa that im bored as fuck with u and I want something new, he thought knowing that he couldn't let those words slip out 2 any woman or he'd b sleeping with the fishes. He went in2 his drawer and pulled out the stash of $ he made from selling Essence. He sniffed the cash. The smell of old $ went up his nose but he indulged it like it was made of bliss. $800 he counted. His finger smoothed the wrinkled edges. Even though he hadn't sold all of the drugs, he still felt accomplished. He thought of all the things he would b able 2 do 1ce he got his hands on all the Essence $. When I get my share of the Essence $, I'm gonna buy a car and get the fuck out of this raggedy place. ''Amaru'' his mother knocked on his door. He threw the $ back into his drawer and pretended 2 b asleep. She opened the door and stepped n. ''Amaru'' her grouchy voice said''I just want 2 talk'' Amaru didn't budge hoping that she would get the clue and leave. '' Amaru' she said 1 last time. Amaru squeezed his eyes shut hoping that she would turn back in2 the mother he 1ce loved. He heard her footsteps drag out of the room and his door shutting close. Her voice wasn't always grouchy and she wasn't always addicted 2 crack. It was something that happened that led her 2 take turn 4 the worst. She started the habit 1 yr after Pops funeral. Amaru was 11 and wanted a pair of jordans that pops had promised him 2 buy. Pops was no longer n his life so he turned 2 his mother 4 the shoes. But strangely, she seemed 2 run out of $ be4 Amaru could ask. ''why don't u ever have $ mama?'' he remember asking. Instead of the truth, he got a cold shoulder or a slap on the back of his head 4 asking. It continued that way until he was 13 and given up on getting any shoes 2 go 2 school. He would walk 2 school with a bad haircut he'd given himself until he decided it was no use and let it grow out. And a pair of dented shoes that faded from its white color. A pair of shoes that his father had bought 4 him as a chrismas present and he promised himself 2 keep clean. ''fuck mama'' he said as he ditch school 1 morning. Terrance, bobby, and Amaru jumped over the fence of their middle school and wandered off campus. Bobby was terrance's sidekick at the time. So wherever Terrance went, he went '' my mama brought me 2 a trap house 1 time'' bobby bragged. Terrance and Amaru shugged'' What's a trap house'' Terrance asked with little interest as he eyed a man on an orange bike. ''it's down the block by Aaron's house on St. Myers road.'' ''let's go then'' Amaru stated zooming down St. Myers road. Bobby and Terrance followed trying 2 keep Amaru pace. He was possessed with speed. When Bobby and Terrance finally caught up, Bobby led them 2 the back of an abandoned house. The house wasn't as vacant as it seemed. The three boys peeped thru the window. In sight, junkies were injecting themselves with needles and smoking crack pipes. '' my mama smokes crack'' Terrance mumbled underneath his breath. His eyes were teary but suddenly they grew wide. '' Nigga aint that ur moms?" Terrance asked Amaru pointing at 1 of the junkies. It was his mother but then again it wasn't. A pale face black woman that didn't resemble anything like his mother looked back at them. Amaru threw up on the window. '' Ewwww!'' Bobby jumped away from the puke. '' Someone's outside'' he heard a grouchy voice announce. The boys scampered from where they were and away from the house. When the 2 boys reached the school gates they stopped running but 1 boy didn't stop. He was 2 sick of life 2 stop. He didn't stop running until he was out of breath and sobbing n his bed.

Terrance unlocked his door and invited Crystal inside. ''What r u doing here'' he asked casually. ''ur not happy 2 see me'' she asked. ''it's been a long day that's all'' he said 2 quick 4 her 2 believe. Terrance bit his lips ''so what u wanna do'' he quizzed. '' u owe me 4 leaving me with Amaru today at church'' A huge grin that couldn't support Terrance's face almost teared his face n half. He unbuckled his pants. Crystal yanked on his penis until he was stiff n her hand. He bellowed as she wrapped her lips around his penis. He was surprised at what such a beautiful 

smile was capable of doing. He pushed he mouth n deeper. He tried 2 hold onto his climax but failed despite his efforts. She spat on2 the floor. ''oh shit'' Terrance grinned falling n complete trance. ''u live by urself'' she got off her knees and inspected the room. ''Nah, me and my moms.'' '' I don't know what it is but this place looks empty- not n furniture but empty'' Terrance didn't know how 2 answer.she walked around the house observing the scenery then glared over 2 the table next 2 the couch. '' who's this'' she asked pointing at the brown colored woman who wasn't an inch older than she. There was an engagement ring behind the picture frame. ''nobody'' Terrance replied. '' come on'' she groaned'' u know u care about her. Why else would u still have this picture'' ''I was engaged 4 a while.'' He whispered so that not even a mouse could hear him. But her bat-like sense picked up his comment. ''u mustve enjoyed hitting that'' she held up the pictue n daze. ''I barely had sex with her'' Terrance chuckled n the middle of his complaint ''she was always working so we did little playing n the sheets'' ''but when yall did?'' '' man, all I ever did was eat even when I wasn't hungry'' crystal bursted out laughing. ''that explains why ur lips are so pink now'' Terrance licked his lips'' u know how it be sometimes'' ''why did u break her heart?'' She assumed that he was the reason they parted n different directions. Terrance snuck up behind her and grasped her body. She jumped a little. ''why is it always the man's fault'' "because yall the ones who invented cheating. Who u cheat on her with?'' "Give me more credit than that, im not a cheater. She broke the engagement off with me.'' Terrance said n his defense. She turned her body around and hugged him. ''Awww, poor baby'' She said empathetically. ''I would make u 4get all about that girl'' she said stretching out her hand as she led him in2 his bedroom.