Scream

Chapter 8

Warnings:
swearing
death
description of death

James led Regulus down the hallways, the bat still in his hand yet absolutely useless in this situation, following the path he memorised in his mind. He was scared. For Remus and Sirius. For Regulus. Funnily enough, he held no fear for himself. He knew the other people in this house meant more to him that he did, and he knew he would protect any of them over protecting himself. The thought didn't scare him as much as he thought it would.

"Please don't hurt Remus or Sirius," James begged once again as he got closer to the end destination.

Regulus gave him a smile, brushing their hands. James wondered why, even after everything Regulus had done, James still loved the feeling of their hands touching. He didn't understand why he still wanted Regulus, why his body longed to be with Regulus's, but it did. What was wrong with him? Shouldn't James be throwing things, trying to kill Regulus himself with the bat in his hand for what Regulus did to all of James's friends? Why was James still fawning over Regulus, still wanting to protect him and love him? What did it mean? Was James does mentally ill? Or was what Regulus did excusable? Was he feeling like this because deep inside him he knew that he would never fall out of love with Regulus, and he would eventually forgive him for this?

"You'll understand everything soon enough," Regulus said.

That wasn't exactly comforting, and James continued on with a heavy heart, wondering if he was leading Sirius and Remus to their deaths. Or Regulus to his. Both thoughts were equally discomforting, and James tried to think about something else, but his mind kept straying to his current problems.

It felt like he was choosing who would live and who would die. Remus and Sirius or Regulus. Who should he choose? What should he do? Which lives should he take? It was confusing, and James was terrified of making the wrong decision, of choosing the wrong thing. He didn't want to choose between the people he loved most. Why couldn't they all survive this together?

James's breath hitched when he turned the corner and spotted Frank's body on the floor. He wanted to look at Regulus, to show him what he'd done and ask how he could possibly be okay with that, and yet at the same time he was terrified of what he'd find. He didn't want Regulus to be a monster. He didn't want his idea of Regulus to change, to become even worse, so he walked forward, not looking at Regulus or the body. He just continued walking until they arrived at the door to the room Sirius and Remus were inside.

"They're in here," James murmured, his throat dry.

Regulus looked at the door. "Why don't you knock?"

James really didn't want to knock, but he knew he didn't have much of a choice, so he did. After a moment of silence he turned the doorknob and entered the room, finding Sirius standing with his fists raised and Remus balancing precariously on one foot, tensed up.

As soon as they saw James both of their shoulders sagged, relief washing their faces. When Sirius spotted Regulus, he stiffened, yet he seemed even more relieved than earlier. James knew that his realisation had been right; Sirius did still love Regulus.

Sirius smiled, moving forward to embrace James, but then he noticed James's tense posture and wide eyes. He stared between James and Regulus and took a step back, angling closer to Remus.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Regulus moved forward, pushing James behind him and giving him a warning look. Whatever happened next, Regulus was telling James not to intervene, and that was terrifying. Could James stand there and let Regulus kill his friends? No. Did he have a choice? Also no.