Fool For You [2]

Chapter Eight

        By the time Rosalie finally ascended the steps of the Institute, she was exhausted. The sky overhead had begun to lighten as the sun rose higher and higher behind the gathered clouds. The sight was not nearly as beautiful as she would have liked; the clouds above were of the darkest gray, no doubt signifying a day of rain. Deep in her bones, Rosalie could feel the urge to sleep pulling at her; almost begging her to finally rest. But how could she sleep with a mind teeming with thoughts? Everything that had transpired tonight roiled endlessly in her head. The drug den, the sight of Will passed out in that dingy bunk, not to mention kissing Will. But for some odd reason he refused to elaborate on, he needed that kiss. And she could never refuse him, she merely wasn't capable of it. Even if her brain screamed at her that it was wrong... that he would never love her... Rosalie couldn't find it in herself to refuse him. Was it the fact that she cared for him? Perhaps it was. But perhaps not in the way she had initially believed. In the beginning, it was a mere infatuation with her idealized hero. It wasn't all that long ago that he had saved not only Tessa's life, but Rosalie's as well. But she had mostly moved past that infatuation. Now she cared in the sense that Will Herondale was her friend. Was Will a good friend? Not always. But that didn't matter because Rosalie could see the man beneath the mask he put on. And that man was good. And because of that, she could live with his sudden cruelty. Or maybe she cared not just because he was a friend; maybe she cared because she loved him... in love with a man she could never have.
As the doors to the Institute opened, welcoming everyone home, Jem stormed past; his eyebrows angled downward and his lips drawn into a frown. Tessa shot her sister an apologetic look as she hurried after him. "You have quite a bit of apologizing to do from the look of things." Rosalie said, not unkindly, as she spared Will a glance over her shoulder.
"Thank you for pointing out the obvious, Rose." he grumbled, coming to a stop at her side.
The pair lingered in front of the large doors, staring after Jem and Tessa. "Have the drugs worn off?" she asked, keeping her tone indifferent.
Will considered for a moment, curling and uncurling his fingers before nodding. "I feel a bit hazy, but other than that... the yin fen has taken its course."
Rosalie couldn't help the way her heart contracted at the word. Yin fen. The very thing that was slowly killing her dear friend. She knew why Will had taken it, but it still didn't lessen the pain. "Did you even think about how this would impact him before you did it?"
The muscles in his jaw feathered as he shook his head. "I didn't think about anyone in that moment." he admitted. "I didn't want to think at all."
The sun was rising higher into the sky as Rosalie turned herself to face him, drawing her arms tightly around her thin frame. "I don't believe that." her gray-blue eyes steeling over. "Jem is your parabatai, you think of him always-"
"What would you like me to say, Rose?" Will threw up his hands. "Would it make you feel better if I told you that I did think about Jem before I did that? Would that make it any easier knowing I did it anyway?" the oceans within his eyes raged as he rounded on her.
"Of course not!" she said, frowning. "But at least it is the truth. You gain nothing by lying to him. You have already hurt him deeply, do you truly believe lying will make matters any better?"
"I would never lie to him, I just fail to see how you need the truth." he gave a dismissive shrug which made Rosalie's blood boil.
"I beg your pardon?!" she exclaimed, the disbelief clear in her voice. "I deserve the truth because I had to help drag you out of that infernal drug den! I deserve the truth because tonight allowed you to once again manipulate my feelings for your own selfish-"
"I never asked for you to come!" he bellowed, the sound echoing in the entryway of the Institute. "I would have come back when I was ready!"
"Or you could have died!" Rosalie said, her voice rising to match his own. "Do you know what that would have done to Jem? To Charlotte and Henry? Or are you so blinded by your own selfishness that you simply don't care?" she said nothing of what that possibility would have done to her. If Will had died in that awful place, it would have broken her. It may have even killed her.
Something flickered within that raging ocean, some emotion that Rosalie could never seem to place. She doubted there was anyone else on the planet as hard to read as Will. "I knew what I was doing." was all he said.
Rosalie's entire body tensed, a wave of fury washing over her. But she eased her face into a neutral expression and willed her body to relax. A screaming match would accomplish nothing. And if she had learned anything here, it was that yelling at Will did little to show him his wrongdoings. There was nothing within this world that could make him see the hurt he has caused. Not just to her, but to everyone. "I hope that's true." was all she said before walking through the doors. Will did not call her name or try to chase after her as she walked upstairs. And she was glad of it.