Vanilla+brown sugar (Hyunlix)

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Felix's pov

It's sudden but I'm awake. My senses feel clouded and I'm a bit dizzy. How many hours have passed? Couldn't be that much it feels like I just took a short nap. It's warm, Hyunjin's body is so warm. I can't believe he let me fall asleep on top of him. This position must be uncomfortable for him. I can't have him sitting upright against a headboard the entire night. See this is my problem with him. He is always so kind to me and it's confusing. He doesn't have to spoil me like this. I'm going to think that he likes me and he clearly doesn't. I literally confessed to him and we ended up doing...that...again. It's almost like he's playing with my feelings. A response would have been nice. I wanted to hear how he feels about me. I wasn't expecting him to fuck me till I cried and I definitely wasn't expecting him to bring up Changbin again. I can't tell if he likes me or if he is just possessive. He makes me feel wanted but at the same time, he doesn't. It's embarrassing and kind of hilarious really but I do remember everything that happened last night. From confessing my feelings to getting down on my knees and taking Hyunjin into my mouth. I don't need anybody to tell me that I messed up. I know I did, like really bad and It's not a surprise but I'm blaming my drunken state. I guess you could say the wine gave me a little boost of confidence to act out. I don't regret it though, I wanted to tell him how I feel. Well, things could have been worst at least he didn't reject me. I make sucking him off sound like it's the end of the world. When in reality I wanted to do it. For once I felt like I was in control. I loved hearing his raspy moans and seeing him lose his composure. It was attractive, watching him plea and struggle like that. I like knowing that I could make him feel good.

I feel my head throb and I wince. Feels a lot like the consequences of my own actions. I'm never drinking again. My insides feel weird and my head hurts a little. I can't even begin to explain how sore I feel. It's not as bad as the first time but I'm hoping I could at least walk. I'm never uttering the word harder to him ever again. I shift a little, burying my head deeper into his chest. I feel bad for letting him hold me like this but I'm so cozy. It's the least he can do for putting me through what he did last night.

"Why are you shifting so much?." Hyunjin voice startles me and I peek up at him meeting his eyes immediately. Those eyes that make me feel weak. My stomach tingles and I position my body upwards. "No reason," I tell him, looking deep into his eyes.

He slips his hand under my shirt and around my waist, pulling me closer. My body shivers as his cold hands send a tingle of goosebumps down my bare skin.

"Were you having a nightmare?"

The goosebumps multiply. I stare at him, dumbfounded, how does he know about my nightmares? I shake my head "no, I haven't had those in a while."

"What-" he pauses. "What are they about?...your nightmares."

I exhale, feeling my chest tighten. "A bad person."

He's quiet for a moment. "Did they hurt you?"

I don't like where this conversation is heading.

"Yes, they did" I admit in a whisper.

That pitiful and lonely side to me I don't want him to know about it. I don't want to be judged.

"You know as long as I'm around." I feel his arms tighten around me. "I won't let anyone hurt you," he says in a way that has my heart beating faster.

"Why ?" I ask, shocked.

Hyunjin leans closer until our foreheads touch. "Because I care about you, Felix," he says quietly. There's a tenderness in his tone, it's soft and loving. My breath catches in my throat. I don't know what to say. Tears sting my eyes and I pull away. Did he really just say that ?.