Vodka on the rocks

Affection

Farhad wasn't used to people. He was much of a lone wolf as Raghav having only being in loose contact with his one sibling, an elder sister. His parents had never approved of him working for his eccentric employer and after a few heated arguments about the same, his father had in anger told him off.

He had said that he would be welcomed back in the family the day he stops working for that.. in his words 'monster'. And that has been that. He had walked off from his house in a massive fit of temper, vowing to never return again only to get an earful from his boss when he came know of the same.

Raghav had been absolutely furious hearing about the fiasco some days later.

"Have you gone bonkers Farhad! No job offer is so lucrative that you have to disregard your parents! If they do not want you to work for me then don't. You are talented enough, any multinational will absorb you. If you want I can write you a recommendation. Now, go before I kick you out and ask for their forgiveness. Idiot!"

Farhad had been equally furious hearing of the same. Agreed that he may have over reacted at that time, after all which parent in their sane mind would be happy if their child works for a notorious kingpin like Raghav Rao, but hearing Raghav speak so flippantly about this 'job' he was doing, (as if he was bothered about the pay or the job in itself) spun his head around for a good measure.

"I can't believe you just said that to me Anna!"

"Huh? What did I say wrong? You will get a better opportunity elsewhere as well and no added stress. In fact your life expectancy might increase by leaps and bounds and you might finally get a girl. You need a life Farhad seriously! Staying here in this job.. I have to agree with your parents isn't very prudent for anyone's sanity. Believe me I am well aware of my virtues."

Raghav had said the last part quite with his usual swagger, carefully crafted to hide the vulnerabilities hidden underneath. He had been speaking while looking outside the large floor to ceiling glass window in his office so he hadn't noticed the changing expressions on Farhad's face. 

If he had, he might have kept mum wisely.

Farhad had never felt so angry in his entire life. And he was sure no one has ever seen him so out of control ever before. But suddenly all he could see in front was a blinding red and no reason.

How dare Raghav even think like that? Is this all the importance he had in boss's life? Hadn't he had been made privy to his most intimate details? Hadn't he provided a ear to his woes during long painful nights well above his scheduled time? Hadn't he ever held his head under the tap after he emptied the burning contents of his stomach one times too many?

"Fine! Just fine! You.. you stay like this Anna! I can't believe I am saying this but you deserve to be alone. You never let anyone get close to you and you never let anyone who is close to you remain so. I know when I see this stupid pushing away tactics. You just wanted one excuse to fire me right? I just... you know what! I'll send you the resignation and you might save your recommendation. I don't need it. And after I am gone. I will see who pulls you out of every soup you land yourself into every day. And who will take care that you do not bash your head in whilst you get too wasted to even stand properly and who manages the media when they get a whiff of your night time rendezvous and.. and. You won't survive a day without me Anna! You know it. Mark my words!"

Farhad's angry tirade stopped when he took a breath to calm his collapsing lungs. He hadn't ever dared to use even a hint of the tone he was using with his boss ever before. He didn't know what overcame him. And he felt his breath get caught in his throat seeing Raghav suddenly. His face had turned completely pale and he could see his eyes struggle to hold back the tell-tale liquid shining amidst its depths.

Farhad gasped feeling his blood drain from his face and a painful pang in his chest. Its not that he hasn't ever seen Raghav cry but usually that was once in a blue moon when the constant ache in his chest would overpower his control. But he was always too drunk to even see straight those times let alone remember what he had been doing. This was the first time he had been this emotional, that also completely sober.

And Farhad saw his own vision blur and his legs moved before he could command them to stop. He circled around the large black glass desk kept as a barrier in between them and kneeled in front of Raghav who seemed to almost shrink back into his chair. It was heart breaking to his Anna in that way.

"I.. I am sorry Anna.. I shouldn't have. It was highly unbecoming of me.. I was just so angry.. I don't want you to push me away because you don't want me to separate from my family. I know what family means to you... I.."

"I won't.."

Raghav whispered and Farhad looked up at him perplexed. Raghav had successfully won the fight against his tears yet the pallor on his face was retained, if only increased making him look almost cadaverous. It was as if the hidden burden he was carrying since the past decade had suddenly become clear as the blue sky on his handsome visage.

"What.. I."

"I won't survive without you Farhad.. I know it. Initially I didn't want to expose so much to you. I had kept you at an arm's length.. I.. tend to do that to most people as you have so astutely judged. I can't afford to.. fall weak. But you remind me so much of my little Arjun... he was.. just as ice cool like you.. mischievous but mostly wise enough to keep well hidden. He could see the good in everyone and everything.. no circumstance could take away that positive energy from him. I saw that in you... I tried so bloody hard to remain dethatched.. but I.. couldn't. And you became a part of my life. A part of my heart.. probably."

Farhad could feel his tears thread the length of his face now. Raghav stopped to swallow the lump stuck in his trachea and continued, the only hint of emotion in the slight thickness of his voice.

"But I don't want you to get attached to me. I can't let you get attached don't you see. Anyone who has ever been remotely attached to me has always had to perish some way or the other. I can't let that happen to you.. Arjun... I couldn't save him. But I will save you. You're too good to get ruined.. I won't let the same happen to you. And you can hate me for that all you want. I'de rather see the fire lit of hatred in your eyes than no light at all."

Farhad looked down and chuckled wetly surprising Raghav. He stood up and looked down at the man he had always felt a kinship with.

"Oh Anna... you can be so blissfully dense sometimes. You think we can choose whom he love? Or do you think pushing someone away will stop that person for caring about you? Or did you seriously think that I haven't gotten attached to you yet?"

Raghav drew in a sharp breathe at that and looked away feeling the reappearance of those dratted tears. Farhad wiped his tears and gave him a big silly smile.

"Anna.. do you think if you have shown Arjun his future.. had he known what end waited for him, he would have stopped loving you? Stopped wanting to be with you? I think you need to rethink Anna.. cause you may hate me all you want, but I am not leaving you."

"Don't push me Farhad!"

"Do whatever you think best Anna.. but I am not going away because you suddenly felt the need to become great and sacrificial."

"Farhad! Don't test my patience.."

Farhad had reached the office door by then and he turned back holding it open about to step out. 

"I didn't know you had any.."

Raghav threw a stapler at the door behind him feeling the tears he had been so desperately trying to hold back flow down his face in tandem.

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