Vodka on the rocks

Part -2 | Two truths and a lie

Oh what a tangled web we weave

When first we practise to deceive.

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Trigger warning : Mentions of rape and self harm (only mild)

Seven Years ago...

"I don't remember a f**king thing Raghav! I am telling the truth... I don't.. I don't.. I remember having that drink with you... we were talking... something about our common friends from college... and then you said something about Pallavi.. I was teasing you... and then everything from afterwards is a total black oblivion."

Esha Madhavan walked to and fro in the hotel room, from one corner to the other raking her hands dangerously in her hair. She had woken up at Raghav's furious jolts only to see herself devoid any of her clothes and wrapped in the duvet beside her former lover who incidentally was sans his clothes as well. The room looked like it has been hit by a hurricane with their clothes strewn everywhere and the only remainder of yesterday nights as the empty whiskey decanter and two glasses on the table.

It wasn't so difficult to put two and two together.

It was a f**king disaster! But maybe she wouldn't have minded it as much hadn't the look on Raghav Rao's face been like someone has pulled his soul out of his body. She felt the precariously held together pieces of her heart falling on the floor of her chest slowly as the expression on Raghav's face changed from shock to confusion to pain to absolute gut wrenching misery and then settled on it. He pulled his face in his hands shaking slightly.

Was she that repulsive that he couldn't even bear the thought of touching her.. even in an inebriated state?

Shut it you idiot!

Her brain commanded.

He is married. And he has had sex with you... he doesn't.. he doesn't love you... not now..

Suddenly the places were she felt sore had started burning and from his face she assumed so had his. She wanted to rush in the washroom and rinse herself till her skin comes out. It almost feels like she has... taken advantage of him. She may have wanted to.. but he, might have imagined his wife in place of her.

Suddenly Raghav spoke. His voice filled with self loathing, guilt and ache.

"Oh my god.. Oh my god no no no nnnnooo no no.. this can't happen with me! This can't... I couldn't have.. I.. I.. Pallavi... she will never forgive me... this will destroy her... I.. I can't breathe.. I.."

He ignored her frantic protests, leapt up and bolted out of the doors, Esha hot on his heels. He reached the parking lot and crashed against his car and took heaving breaths almost wheezing with the effort of keeping his ribs from sprouting out of his chest. She tried patting his back only for him to violently flinch away from her and swat her hands away gasping. She felt hurt but she understood his state of mind.

"Okay.. relax.. relax Raghav.. let's.. just.. breathe okay.. let's just forget about it... We'll pretend this never happened.. I will go away Raghav. I'll leave Hyderabad. I have applied for a job in Delhi. I got it. I'll just go... no one has to know."

Raghav who had been struggling to breathe, sitting on the ground, leaning against the door of his car looked up from his hands horrified, his eyes wide in shock.

"Are you f**king crazy Esha! I can't pretend this didn't happen..? I can't go on and then touch my wife with these hands.. that has.. has partaken in such a heinous.. I can't just be all hunky and dory after.. betraying her so badly. I.. I will have to tell her.. God! I'll just have to.. I'll have to go.."